Friendship is Card Games: Pony Life, Week 6 · 11:46am Sep 27th, 2020
I return from my latest foray into Zendikar with… middling success. Zagras only gets you so far when the rest of your Sealed pool is largely mediocre.
In any case, I thought I’d be looking at the IDW comics this week, but it turns out that when they say “available September 2020,” they mean “available one or more seconds before October.” So, more Pony Life it is. Let’s close out the Flutterarc.
A Camping We Will Go
No matter the universe, Applejack enjoys roughing it. And Rarity emphatically does not.
I wasn’t expecting Applejack’s fond image of the outdoors to be a desolate mesa, but to each their own.
Applejack belting out a marching cadence. I feel like we’re approaching Sherclop Pones from an unexpected direction. (Note: Gruesome imagery.)
The pink water still unsettles me. My mind keeps channeling Danganronpa and I have to remind myself that Rarity isn’t meant to be swimming in a river of blood. I assume.
The chain seems needlessly complex. They have three fliers. Why involve everyone and force Fluttershy to carry the weight of five ponies?
This Rarity apparently uses much more waterproof styling products for her mane.
I enjoy watching Twilight channel the matrix… but her horn staying in the shape of a lightbulb for that long is downright disturbing.
Who else wants to hear more about Rarity’s Vaudeville days? Because I absolutely would.
“Camping is about getting out of your comfort zone” says the pony who had yet to leave hers all day.
Given Luna’s continued lack of visibility in Pony Life, the galloping constellation raises a number of questions.
Oh hey, Bighoof. That never stopped being a thing.
Campfire Stories
Not to be confused with “Campfire Tales,” the episode of Friendship is Magic that gave us the legends of Rockhoof, Mistmane, and Flash Magnus.
Yeesh. Pinkie appears to be preparing twenty different recipes at once. And that’s not counting the carrot lodged in one of the outlet adapters.
Electricity is apparently as pink as water in this world. This only lends further support to FiM!Pinkie creating it while infused with chaos magic.
Fluttershy’s browsing Discordbooru, apparently.
I’m honestly quite disappointed that Twilight didn’t chime in at Dash’s “No purple sparks around here.” Come on, guys, that was a lay-up.
Wait, is wishing part of potion magic? Could one of the girls down a vial and reset the breakers? I’m not sure what Twilight meant by that.
(There’s also the option of researching the issue and trying to fix it themselves, but electricity is not a toy, no matter how much Pinkie’s treated it like one.)
… Fluttershy, why would you tell a story that everyone was there for?
Oh. Because she’s exaggerating it for her own amusement. Got it. Also, we appear to be going for a Rashomon.
Twilight recalls the FIM Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, and I’m not sure how to process this particular bit of metareference.
When Twilight Sparkle says “a pinch of magic,” I have a number of questions. Especially when she apparently means “a glowing purple liquid.”
“Well, excuuuuse me.”
—Princess(?) Twilight Sparkle.
“Jazz was all the rage. I had to be at Jay’s mansion on East Egg in two hours. Little did I know that his old flame Daffodil lived across the way.”
How did Rarity turn baking cupcakes into The Great Gatsby?
I quite like “Am I drinking crazy potion or…” as a local idiom.
Pinkie didn’t unplug anything after shorting everything out? For shame, Ponk. For shame. Though the electrician apparently arriving and doing their work completely unannounced in’t terribly professional either.
Honestly, the opening of A Tale of Two Cities feels very appropriate, both as an amalgam of opinions about Pony Life and the current state of the world.
Friendship Gems
Oh! Well, there’s a spoiler in the title card.
Sorry, Applejack. Breaking the fourth wall is not a free action.
There’s a joke in here about spiders and the World Wide Web, but I’ll leave it unread.
Sure, keep digging, girls. Eventually, you’ll break through to the other side of the planet.
And enter Trixie. Who makes me wonder where Starlight is in this world. Though she does have the same voice actress… which also makes me wonder if Chrysalis might show up.
“Did you just magically appear?”
“I’ve been here for five minutes.”
Darn it, now I want to see Pony Life Wallflower Blush. And I appreciate the opposing energy to “She’s gone! Oh wait, there she is.”
I have to admit, watching Trixie pull herself out of her hat was impressive.
“Friendship is free like a butterfly… that you can put in a jar. Forever.”
I am legitimately unsure if they’re overplaying the Psychoshy bit or if they aren’t leaning into it enough.
And then Trixie vanished once she was no longer plot relevant… apparently.
Dol-Fin-ale
I’m assuming the Heist Mode mustaches are meant as disguises. I’m amused by them regardless, but that’s the justification I’m running with.
Wow. That trailer is much bigger on the inside. And has water features comparable to Celestia’s throne room.
I’m not exactly wowed by Finn, but I do agree that he’s being a very good sport about the whole “breaking into his trailer’ thing.
“I’d go to crazy lengths to meet me too.”
That is a Zapp Brannigan-garde line, and I appreciate it.
“You have to live truthfully in order to pretend to be a variety of characters on the big screen.”
Yes, because if there’s one thing major celebrities are known for, it’s honesty and transparency in their day-to-day lives.
Fluttershy wandering the studio is rather amusing.
“I know it’s been months—”
“It’s been literal minutes.”
She’s doing a bit, Finn. There was a soliloquy and everything. Let her finish.
Fascinating detail I only found on Derpibooru: Songbird Serenade is apparently Pony Life-canon.
Celestia coming in at the end of a story arc like Dumbledore throwing around hundreds of house points seems to be a theme in Pony Life. Also, now I want to know what the Crusaders were up to. And also why Celestia is personally involved in this. I’m beginning to suspect there’ more than one Sunhorse at work. Which might even explain why she’s so small, relatively speaking.
I’ll be honest, I was expecting a dream-crushing jerk of an entitled celebrity here. I’m pleasantly surprised. Still, while these episodes are pleasant enough, the fact reamins that they’re really not long enough to dig into the subject matter to any appreciable degree. Trixie’s appearance really stands out in that regard; a viewer not already familiar with her would probably be quite lost for the whole episode. There’s just not enough time get into why she’s such an egomaniac. It’s not like this one is playing to the crowd.
Still, I do have plenty of material to work with. Let’s begin:
Sire of the Starherd 1WW
Enchantment Creature — Pony
Bestow 5W (If you cast this card for its bestow cost, it's an Aura spell with enchant creature. It becomes a creature again if it's not attached to a creature.)
Afterlife 2 (When this permanent is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, create two 1/1 white and black Spirit creature tokens with flying.)
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has afterlife 2.
2/2
Meticulous Chronicler 4UU
Creature — Wizard
Alicorn (This is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery spell, they exile that card instead of putting it into their graveyard as it resolves.
When Meticulous Chronicler leaves the battlefield, you may cast a card exiled with it without paying its mana cost. Then the owners of the rest shuffle them into their libraries.
4/4
Fraudulent Trailblazer 1B
Creature — Pony Rogue
Whenever a land enter the battlefield under an opponent’s control, that player loses 1 life.
“Trails just tell you where ponies have already gone. And sometimes where they didn’t come back.”
—New Horizon, expedition leader
1/2
Proud Unicorn 1B
Creature — Unicorn Rogue
Proud Unicorn can’t be the target of spells or abilities you control.
“The only reason Trixie thinks she’s better than everypony is the overwhelming evidence.”
—Trixie Lulamoon, traveling performer
3/1
Sandswept Bones 2B
Creature — Ox Skeleton
1B: Sandswept Bones gains indestructible until end of turn. Tap it. Activate this ability only if you control a Desert or there is a Desert card in your graveyard.
Buffalo return to the land after death. Sometimes it gives them back.
3/1
Kitchen Nightmare 3BB
Enchantment Creature — Cake Nightmare
Menace
Whenever a creature or enchantment you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, each opponent sacrifices a creature or enchantment.
The secret ingredient is fear. And allspice.
4/2
Exuberate R
Sorcery
Goad target creature you don’t control. (Until your next turn, any creatures goaded this way attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)
Overload 3RR (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change its text by replacing all instances of “target” with “each.”)
Overtaxed Power Grid 1R
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, if there are five or more artifacts on the battlefield, sacrifice Overtaxed Power Grid. If you do, destroy all artifacts.
Pinkie decided to just plug the power strips into themselves next time.
Potion of Insanity 1R
Instant
Discard any number of cards, then draw that many cards plus one.
“A fresh perspective can offer new insight on many subjects. The secret lizard people, for example.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Detritus Burst 3R
Instant
As an additional cost to cast this spell, remove X counters from among permanents you control.
Detritus Burst deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of targets.
Trixie was used to explosions, but not shrapnel.
Fabulous Sparkmage 3R
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Haste
When Fabulous Sparkmage enter the battlefield, creatures you control get +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures in your party. (Your party consists of up to one each of Cleric, Rogue, Warrior, and Wizard.)
2/1
Harken Back G
Instant
Put target permanent card in your graveyard on top of your library. If that card has an Adventure, return it to your hand instead.
Tales retold offer a chance for fresh twists on the formula.
Eager Outdoorsmare 2G
Creature — Pony Scout
When Eager Outdoorsmare enters the battlefield, look at the top five cards of your library. You may reveal a land card from among them and put it into your hand. Then put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
“It’s a big world. Let’s go see it.”
2/2
Website Recluse 2G
Creature — Spider
Reach
Whenever Website Recluse deals damage to an artifact creature, destroy that creature.
Camera drones began avoiding the cottage after Fluttershy made her latest friend.
1/4
Camel Standee 2
Artifact Creature — Camel
T: Target land becomes a Desert in addition to its other types until end of turn.
“There’s a camel right there! Where else could it be?”
—Greenscreen, set designer
0/3
Ego Amulet 2
Artifact
Spells that target you cost 1 less to cast.
3: You gain hexproof until end of turn.
It resonates with thoughts of the wearer, regardless of what those thoughts may be.
Celebrity Trailer 3
Artifact
T: Add one mana of any color in your commander’s color identity.
Sacrifice Celebrity Trailer: The next time your commander would be returned to the command zone this turn, return it to your hand instead.
Every amenity a superstar could ask for.
Diamond Medallion 3
Artifact
As Diamond Medallion enters the battlefield, choose a color.
Spells you cast of the chosen color cost 1 less to cast.
“You can never have enough diamonds.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Distorted Recall UB
Sorcery
Exile target instant or sorcery card from an opponent’s graveyard. You may cast that card for as long as it remains exiled, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell.
Full Exposé 1RW
Instant
Destroy all Auras and Equipment.
Draw a card.
“Leave the performance for when the cameras are rolling.”
—Finn Tastic, celebrity dolphin
Finn Tastic, Sea Star 2WU
Legendary Creature — Whale Advisor
Whenever a player casts a spell during combat, counter that spell.
U: The next spell you cast this turn can’t be countered.
“Integrity is critical in this business, the appearance of integrity even more so.”
3/4
Adoring Megafan 4GW
Creature — Pegasus Citizen
Flying, vigilance
The biggest fan by default.
5/5
Big Publicity 2GW
Sorcery — Adventure
Creatures you control get +2/+2 until end of turn. (Then exile this card. You may cast the creature later from exile.)
Inspiring Starscape
Land
T: Add C.
1, T: Add one mana of any color. If that mana is spent on an enchantment creature spell, that permanent enters the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on it.
Awe begets belief.
Inside Baseball Alert: Diamond Medallion is a card that really should have been made by now, name and all. (That's three separate links, because it takes three different cards to explain why to people who don't already know)
Now I'm picturing that FiM Celestia could 'split' herself apart into numerous 'moe' versions of herself like the Norns (Belldandy and Urd mostly) from Oh My Goddess! manga/anime.
Please tell me that's gonna get explored
There's enough spooky arachnids in the SCP Foundation
"It's simply does wonders for the complexion!"
5365199
Imagine them all turning up at once.
Worth nothing that the Trixie episode was the start of Pony Life's unfortunate tendency to slap wings where they don't belong. That will very much be a problem next week. Although I still do wonder if it wasn't done on purpose when she was involved.
Psychopath Fluttershy is certainly one of the best things to come out of Pony Life. It will have further exploration in later parts of the series, though the butterfly line remains one of her best moments.
5365197
It doesn't help that Butt Stallion and Syr Rarity have reinforced diamond's "pick a color, any color" mechanical theme in recent years.
5365199
Meanwhile, the nightscape is rife with mini-Lunas darting from dream to dream. It's as adorable for us as it is horrifying for any psychic parasites.
5365246
I admit, the mental image of ruling Princess Twilight forcing Pinkie to take responsibility for the universe she created is delightful. And I could easily see Pony Life Celestia being FiM Pinkie in disguise. This may merit further thought...
5365248
Rarity as Madame Bathory... I feel like this has been done before, but I can't pin down where. She's certainly been cast as the more elegant and aristocratic sort of vampire.
5365269
... Huh. I completely failed to notice Trixie's wings until you said something. I have a number of questions, and some of them are directed at the animators. I'll have to remember to keep an eye out for extra limbs next time I do Pony Life.
5365408
Trust me, it won't be hard to catch it next time. To make up for it, they occasionally remove wings as well. Although I believe it's only a major (and I mean basically impossible to miss) problem in next week's batch, afterwards it got reduced to around the same amount as this week and towards the end it was no longer a problem (or maybe I failed to notice it any more). I do think I remember one instance of temporarily alicornified Rarity, but I can't remember which episode it's from. Although, as I've mentioned, there's other stuff aside from the wings going on in next week's episodes that makes me question if there's something more than animation errors at play. For one character in particular, I wonder if there were plans to actually have them be an alicorn at some point.