PONID-21 Day 15 · 12:39am Jul 8th, 2020
To: Lisa Trent
Subject: Urgent!I had to shut down the internet connection because we're getting flooded with attacks. If you want to get the free wifi going again, I'm going to need your help doing it.
Seth
To: Seth
Subject: Urgent!Yeah, I figured somepony would come looking around without knocking. How're you handling things right now?
Lisa
To: Lisa Trent
Subject: Urgent!Panic mode. The internet connection is cable-connected to our firewall appliance, and from there I'm only letting VPN connections through. Sorry, I can't route the wifi over that, and giving you all a connection to the net over this pipe would be horrifying.
If you can come up with something that doesn't use more resources than I can spare, I can keep your wifi up.
Seth
To: Seth
Subject: Urgent!I got some ideas, yeah. If all we want to do is anonymize our traffic, a transparent TOR proxy would be the best bet. It would be a bit slower, but it should stop anypony being targeted.
Lisa
To: Lisa Trent
Subject: Urgent!Huh. Okay, if you can get that working either on our appliance or on something locked down behind it, I can drop that into the route. Head over whenever. I know it's early, but ever since my pager went off I've had the coffee pot on.
Seth
To: Seth
Subject: Urgent!Coffee? Now you're speaking my language. Gimme a few, I need to get up and get presentable. These wings don't preen themselves.
Lisa
#general
Lisa 1/20/2021 5:38 AM
Might not make it for breakfast. You'll know if I'm coming if the wifi works again. Trying to help get it all sorted before most of you wake up.
Penny 1/20/2021 5:41 AM
You need some help?
Lisa 1/20/2021 5:42 AM
Not sure what you have in mind, but if you want to, I wouldn't say no.
Penny 1/20/2021 5:44 AM
Okay, I'll meet you outside your room. I think you know there's nothing a little noodle can't make better.
Lisa 1/20/2021 5:44 AM
You're not a little noodle, Penny.
Penny 1/20/2021 5:45 AM
Thanks for noticing! 🐍
Bob 1/20/2021 6:51 AM
Huh. Guess that's why the wifi is down.
Lisa 1/20/2021 6:53 AM
Oh! Hi Bob. We've almost got this sorted. Penny wanted to turn all the people trying to attack the network into pudding, but we talked her down to just doing their computers.
Penny 1/20/2021 6:54 AM
¡ƃuıppnԀ
Lisa 1/20/2021 6:55 AM
She also thinks she has to type upside down just because she's got her head on the wrong way.
Bob 1/20/2021 6:57 AM
Should I even ask how she does that? Wait, head on the wrong way?!
Penny 1/20/2021 6:57 AM
˙ʎɐpoʇ ʎʃpoou ʎɹǝʌ ɯɐ I
Lisa 1/20/2021 6:58 AM
See what I have to deal with? Anyway, with the position of supreme noodles aside, the attacks stopped but they'll probably just get new hardware and start back up, so I'm fixing this properly.
Penny 1/20/2021 7:00 AM
I don't want one position. I want ALL positions!
Bob 1/20/2021 7:02 AM
You're up the right way again now?
Penny 1/20/2021 7:03 AM
Whoops! Hey, one of them got a new computer. Boop. Now it's cheese.
Bob 1/20/2021 7:06 AM
Don't ever stop being a noodle, Penny. You're awesome.
#welcome
Emergency Medical Hologram Mk. 2 1/20/2021 7:10 AM
Welcome to COVID-19 Treatment Chat, @Seth! Please @ me and give your patient ID number.
Lisa 1/20/2021 7:11 AM
I got you, Seth. You should have access to our #general chat now.
#general
Seth 1/20/2021 7:14 AM
Oh, here? Hi. I'm kinda the cable monkey who keeps the network here running. Blah blah they don't pay me enough and all that. Lisa's been helping me keep things running for you guys.
Sorry, took me a bit to work this out. Pretty slick chat interface.
Penny 1/20/2021 7:16 AM
Excellent! This expands my ability to noodle. Just send me a message on here when someone attacks your servers. I'll give them a nasty surprise.
Seth 1/20/2021 7:18 AM
I still have no clue what you are doing, but every time you snapped your fingers, the traffic slowed. So, uh, kinda keep doing that, I guess.
Penny 1/20/2021 7:18 AM
Lisa! Lisa! I think I'm in love!
Lisa 1/20/2021 7:19 AM
He's just enabling you.
Penny 1/20/2021 7:20 AM
I know! Isn't it wonderful to have someone who truly cares enough to help you do what you love doing?
Bob 1/20/2021 7:22 AM
Okay, but noodling aside, have you guys seen Devon today?
Lisa 1/20/2021 7:23 AM
Nope. Is he missing?
Bob 1/20/2021 7:23 AM
Nope. Flying.
Pretty quick, too.
Lisa 1/20/2021 7:24 AM
Coming. I know he's pretty much ahead of everyone else, but most of us have been struggling to even get our flapping under control.
Bob 1/20/2021 7:26 AM
Trust me, he's not having any trouble flying.
#day-15
Rainbow Dash 1/20/2021 9:43 AM
Yeah, changing my name. Devon just doesn't feel right anymore. Best news is, I feel amazing! My nose isn't full of boogers, my head doesn't feel like it's going to split, and the best thing is I fly like I was born to it.
#general
Rainbow Dash 1/20/2021 9:44 AM
And guys? Drop the "him/his" stuff. Everypony knows I'm a girl now. I just… I've accepted it, ya know? This is me now, and I'm literally better than the old me in every way. Okay, so it might have been nice to stay a guy, but I'm not going to let that get in the way.
—private-message—
Lisa 1/20/2021 9:46 AM
Karen, you might want to talk to Devon today.
Karen?
Karen 1/20/2021 9:52 AM
Sorry. Hands not working. Hard to type.
Lisa 1/20/2021 9:53 AM
You need a hand with things? I can write stuff down.
Karen 1/20/2021 9:59 AM
That will be up to Rainbow Dash.
And, yes, I will call her whatever she wishes to be called.
Lisa 1/20/2021 10:03 AM
Yeah. It's hard to get my head around. I'll have to talk to her about it.
Karen 1/20/2021 10:07 AM
I imagine a good hug will help.
Lisa 1/20/2021 10:08 AM
Always.
Interview with Rainbow Dash (formerly Devon Creed)
female
age 23Transcript of conversation with notes added from my clipboard.
RD (Rainbow Dash): Thank you, both of you, for being so awesome.
Notes: Lisa Trent is present, but not talking. She's sitting beside Rainbow Dash with a foreleg around Rainbow's (she seems amenable to using her first name only) shoulders. This was with Rainbow's express permission.
KS (Dr. Karen Simpson): You're welcome. So, do you want to begin with anything or should I ask some questions to start you off?
RD: It's been a while since you had me on the couch, but I think I can cover it. So, it finally all just sank in last night. This is me now. This is who and what I am. Devon? That's not who I am anymore. It's not a huge change up here…
Notes: Rainbow is tapping the side of her head with a hoof.
RD: … but pretty much everything else changed. I'm a girl, but I still like girls. I have wings, but flying still leaves me just a little panicked for a few seconds. I'm a freakin' pegasus, but my brain still thinks like a monkey sometimes.
KS: So it's still you, but you're just a bit more now?
RD: Exactly! It's kinda like if you took away the specific things that made Devon a human, then replaced them with the things that makes Rainbow a pony.
KS: Given the amount of new ground I'm breaking in psychology here, I keep having to redefine my goalposts. The normal ways of diagnosis and therapy don't apply here. I can already feel some of the initial effects happening to myself. I find myself using everypony unless I focus not to. I look down at my hands and find it's not that bad they're turning into hooves. I think the most important thing is we keep in mind who we are and try to survive the physical changes intact before worrying about our mental states.
RD: You okay, doc? Uh, Lisa, you wanna swap ponies?
Notes: I think I need to sit down and have a proper talk with someone. Yes, Lisa, this probably means you. Lisa came over to me and hugged me instead of Rainbow. If I were a little more uptight I might say it was comforting. What I will say is that I needed that hug more than anything in the world.
KS: Thank you, I think I'm okay. This is hardly the best situation to be working in, but there's simply no one else who can fill this role.
RD: What about teleconferencing? You could try calling up somepony else in the biz and talk to them, right?
KS: That's a pretty good idea. I'm not going to lie, it feels really good when we work together like this. Helping each other is just… it's how ponies work.
RD: Yeah! And we are ponies. Well, some more than others, but you're getting there. Err, here. The point is, if even Lisa's hugs aren't enough, you just have to ask, doc.
Notes: Damn it but I smiled. This wasn't a therapy session for Rainbow, this was a group session for both of us.
KS: Absolutely. How about we have lunch as a group?
RD: Sounds awesome. What about you, Lisa?
LT (Lisa Trent): D-Derpy.
KS: Your name?
LT: Yeah. It just… Derpy Hooves. It's kinda nuts how right it feels. I guess it has something to do with my eye, or how I keep knocking things over if I don't pay attention.
RD: I've never seen you knock anything over.
LT: Well, I like to pay attention a lot. It's not like I enjoy being a bit of a klutz. Derpy Hooves.
Notes: Feel free to put in whatever you want here, Derpy.
Notes: Huh. Okay, Karen. Well, I guess it just sank in and the name it… it just came to me. It feels so right to me. I've used a lot of names online in various places, but this one… I didn't pick it, my parents didn't pick it, but it's me. I am Derpy Hooves.
Post session notes: The flu might have let up on Rainbow, but Derpy and myself are still deep in the land of terrible headaches, coughs, and more snot than anyone should ever have to deal with. I think that has something to do with ponies having bigger snouts.
Rainbow is a perfectly healthy pony. She connects emotionally with those around her and still has all her faculties. I'm glad Derpy had the same epiphany regarding names, that rules out this being a specifically Rainbow Dash thing.
Thank you, Derpy, for sorting out my notes and the voice recording and getting it typed up. With luck I'll get my own wings to do all this.
DH: No probs, Karen.
—Doctor Simpson
#general
Rainbow Dash 1/20/2021 12:20 PM
Okay, @everyone, listen up. You're going to feel real freaky over the next few days. You might start feeling a new name, and you might start feeling like whatever bits changed felt right, and you might even just feel better. Well, it's alright. You're all awesome. Never forget that. I might have been the first, but I'm not the only one. You ready?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 12:25 PM
Hi everypony, everydragon, everygriff, and everyone else. I don't know how or why, but just… I'm Derpy Hooves. The name just came to me, like Rainbow's did. I'm not going to bite anypony's head off for calling me Lisa, but if you need a hug, just call Derpy. Also, don't be afraid if you feel the same. We're changing, it's not a bad thing.
—private-message—
Bob 1/20/2021 12:27 PM
Are you sure you're okay?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 12:27 PM
Yeah. It just kinda happened. I was helping Karen with Rainbow's interview, just keeping quiet and giving what support I could, when it just hit me that this is who I am.
Bob 1/20/2021 12:29 PM
Well, Derpy, I want you to come out so I can hug you until you beg me to stop.
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 12:30 PM
You need a hug?
Bob 1/20/2021 12:32 PM
Well, yes, but I think it's more important that you get a good hug, and apart from Penny and you, I give the best hugs in town.
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 12:33 PM
Is that so?
Bob 1/20/2021 12:35 PM
Well, they're the biggest hugs. Biggest hugs have to be the best, right?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 12:35 PM
I'm OMW.
Subject: Day 15 Observations
1/20/21
3:29 PMPhysical
The physical changes in almost all subjects have now stabilized. Robert Cowell (113823102021) has stopped growing, according to our best measurements at least. One of our researchers showed an interest in helping him test his physical capabilities, and so far any limit on his strength has been extremely hard to measure. We sacrificed a weigh-bridge scale to test the strength of his closed fist, his crushing force exceeded the 20 tonne unit immediately.
Several of our subjects have experienced eye changes. In particular the dragons, Robert and Katrina Hobbs (113823992021) have both been able to demonstrate sight deep into the infrared spectrum. Paula Bardook (113823322021) has developed a washed-out color palette, although her olfactory sense has become far sharper (something she has complained about and celebrated in seemingly equal measure). Aaron Styles' (113823882021) vision has become so acute that we can no longer assess it with standard human-scale equipment, our closest estimate now is somewhere around 160/20, which is realistic with estimates for birds of prey. Also, we have managed to identify he can see a little into ultraviolet, also consistent with a bird of prey.
Magical
(every time I write that, as a serious option, I feel a little less like a scientist)
The unicorns and pegacorns are coming along well with their magic. They are all using it as a replacement for hands, though the pegacorns are also using their wings. Several of the most advanced have also started performing other feats. Michael Cooper (113822412021) has shown he can heat and cool water with his magic, and Celine Baley (113826112021), despite her great size and apparent age loss, has shown she can manipulate physical items to an extremely high degree of control.Penny DeSanto (113823902021) appears to have no limits on her magic apart from her imagination. I asked her to pull a rabbit from a hat. She made a hat appear, and while I thought she'd pull a live rabbit out, it was literally Bugs Bunny. He made a wise-quip, chewed on a carrot, then dove back into the hat before it vanished. I don't think anyone could ask her to do something she couldn't do. Simply by knowing something that could happen lets her make it so. She is, it is my personal opinion, as powerful as any god dreamt up in human history. And, she does it all for laughs.
I'm not sure how this happens, so am putting it under Magical until further notice. The Changelings (as they call themselves), have convinced my medical staff that they can see the happiness a creature feels. Supposedly, they feed on this, and as best as we can tell, they are not lying. We had one "feed" on another willing subject, then presented that subject and another control to another of their kind to tell us which had been fed on. Forget probability, they picked the correct answer each time. They seem able to use their horn to affect a similar physical control as unicorns and pegacorns, but expressed a reluctance to test it further because that would mean they'd need to feed more.
Saavani Ahuja (113826232021), alone out of all of them, confided in me that she doesn't need to feed as they do. She was happy to demonstrate her magic control that rivaled all but our best unicorns and pegacorns.
Mental
New eventualities appeared today in Devon Creed (113822522021) and Lisa Trent (113822402021) (henceforth to be known as Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hooves, respectively). Rainbow Dash expressed a desire for a new name that just came to her, as did Derpy Hooves, but Rainbow Dash also has shown a complete acceptance of her altered sex, and according to Dr. Simpson, is as healthy mentally as could be expected.
On the whole, things could be both better and a lot worse. Morale is high, friction seems to be getting demolished by the simple expedients of openness and friendship. The changeling group seemed headed on a self-destructive spiral until Derpy and Dr. Simpson directly intervened. I hazard to do so, but I must include Dr. Simpson's actions within the target group now. She has shown similar early-infection mental changes, and combined with her ocular change and increasing physical changes, she is most certainly infected.
So far every aspect of this has gone exactly opposite of every other psychological study, and I can't help but feel it's a good thing. Allostasis might be an ever-shifting goal, but they manage to reach it again no matter what happens.
—Doctor Howards
—private-message—
Seth 1/20/2021 4:02 PM
Whatever you're doing, it's working. We're getting a ton less attacks.
Penny 1/20/2021 4:04 PM
That's why I get the big bucks! Best noodle inside of eleven parsecs!
Seth 1/20/2021 4:05 PM
Ha. So…
Are you doing anything tonight? I know I'm not supposed to "fraternize with patients", but the docs all said this isn't about experiments and stuff anymore.
Penny 1/20/2021 4:08 PM
Interesting. So you want to hook up and have dinner under the stars?
Seth 1/20/2021 4:10 PM
I guess. Why not?
Penny 1/20/2021 4:11 PM
Not sure if you looked, Seth, but I'm not exactly a normal girl.
Seth 1/20/2021 4:13 PM
No shit? I hadn't noticed! /s
Penny 1/20/2021 4:14 PM
Okay, I deserved that one. You know you're going to have a strange time, and that doesn't worry you?
Seth 1/20/2021 4:19 PM
Look, I'm not saying I want to date or anything. I'd just like to get to know you. You seem like an interesting girl.
Penny 1/20/2021 4:21 PM
You know what? I think I like you. Okay. Seven o'clock. Bring a bottle of wine, chocolates, and a codpiece.
Seth 1/20/2021 4:22 PM
🤣
Penny 1/20/2021 4:23 PM
Alright. I'll bring those. Just bring yourself and I'll figure out the rest.
Seth 1/20/2021 4:24 PM
Where?
Penny 1/20/2021 4:25 PM
Just come out into the main yard. You'll see where I am.
—private-message—
Penny 1/20/2021 4:28 PM
Guess who totally just had a cute, nerdy guy ask her out?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 4:30 PM
Huh?
Penny 1/20/2021 4:30 PM
This noodle!
That cute guy, Seth, just sent me a message wanting to have a date. He said it wasn't, but I mean, who just goes out to look at the stars with a girl?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 4:31 PM
Congrats!
Wait, the computer guy? Damn, he was cute.
Penny 1/20/2021 4:33 PM
Huh. Hrmm.
—private-message—
Penny 1/20/2021 4:33 PM
Mind if I bring a friend? I already know you get on well with her.
Seth 1/20/2021 4:35 PM
You mean Lisa? I thought she was…
Uh. Am I putting my foot in it? I figured she wasn't into me.
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 4:35 PM
Huh. Group chat? Alright.
Oh…
Penny 1/20/2021 4:36 PM
Hold it the both of you. You are not allowed to type until I've had my say, got it?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 4:37 PM
Yes Miss Penny
Seth 1/20/2021 4:37 PM
Yes Miss Penny
Penny 1/20/2021 4:38 PM
Good.
So, Lisa is certainly into guys. Trust me, it took me a lot of snuggling and tickling to persuade her to kiss me.
Seth seems like a nice guy, and since we're kinda a thing, Lisa, I figured we'd both at least say hi to him while none of us are within ten feet of a computer.
Okay, you can both move again.
Seth 1/20/2021 4:40 PM
Holy crap. How did you do that?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 4:41 PM
She'll just tell you it's her noodle powers. The truth is she's found a direct line to physics and is a really good talker.
Okay, I'll bite. We make this a date between all three of us.
Seth 1/20/2021 4:43 PM
I'd be an idiot to say no, so of course. I didn't know you two were… How do I say it without putting my literal foot in something?
Penny 1/20/2021 4:45 PM
We're good friends.
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 4:46 PM
It's fairly casual. I've never been into girls before.
Damn this is embarrassing.
Penny 1/20/2021 4:48 PM
But you're doing it anyway. That's why I like you, Derps.
Seth 1/20/2021 4:49 PM
Alright, so tonight, and… Which name do you prefer?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 4:50 PM
Derpy Hooves. It's who I am now.
—private-message—
Penny 1/20/2021 11:10 PM
Tell me he wasn't the cutest?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 11:14 PM
I mean, it was fun. I don't think I'd have had as much fun without you there.
Dammit, Penny. You turned me into a lesbian!
Penny 1/20/2021 11:16 PM
Nah. You were responding to him. Pretty sure you're still straight with a bit of noodle-sexual in there.
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 11:17 PM
Penny!
…
You're right, though. Other girls don't really interest me, but then you…
Penny 1/20/2021 11:20 PM
Wanna snuggle?
Derpy Hooves / Lisa 1/20/2021 11:20 PM
Your room or mine?
Penny 1/20/2021 11:21 PM
Yours. [snap]
Peter Howards' Journal
I asked her. She laughed it off and told me to think it over for a few days. I deserve to succumb to this too, but I don't want to stain her soul with this.
Look at me. A man of science talking about souls and magic. Next thing you know I'll claim to have spoken to a god. I hope someone's laughing at my life right now, because if it's not a comedy, it's a tragedy.
I talked with Robert tonight. Even he doesn't blame me. I told him everything. Every last shred of what I did and the shortcuts we took. He laughed like thunder.
"This happened for reasons, doc," he'd said. "You. This virus. The one before it. Me. It's all for a reason, I just have to find it."
Then he thanked me.
Ask Dr. Howards: Have you contact any physicists/scientists to investigate the mysterious power these ponies & supreme noodle are using?
"Right now, bringing more potential targets for this infection into quarantine is not outweighed by any benefits finding out such information would bring. Once the quarantine is over—that is, all subjects have been tested and found not to contain the live virus in their system—we will begin the process of releasing them. If they then wish to contribute to science—given what science has done to them—I am sure they will be welcomed with open arms." Dr. Howards let out a sigh. "This has been the greatest travesty of science in my career—maybe all of history."
So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.
Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!
Join me on Discord. Please use your FimFic name as an alias. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.
Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
CadelDdraigDarkkon
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ender Voidwalker
KFS Crimson
Sirion123
Vi Watch
And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Lab
"This expands my ability to noodle"
" That's why I like you, Derps."
best noodle is quotable as HECK!
Supreme Noodle wetting all the other noodles. How chaotically poetic? So many little fun bits going on at once but I’m excited for the buggos.
For Supreme Noodle: Have you thought about using your powers for good? Curing cancer, fixing world hunger, toppling evil regimes, maybe even stopping a few Nazis along the way? You could solve those in all sorts of chaotic ways too after all.
Ask Dr. Howards: Did you realize the gold mine in your nonchalant note? Humanity would pour all their resources into this virus more than ever once this information get out.
Of course she's first to change her name. No way anyone's beating Dash in a race. Especially not one that no one else would ever consider a race.
One idea I've seen bandied about is that pony names are actually true names, in the fantasy sense. Lisa may have always been Derpy; the virus just brought that out to the surface.
Hey, it exists. You're observing and experimenting. Hypotheses are being put to the test. That's science.
As I've said before, Penny is nothing but noodly appendages.
It's all coming to a head at this point. The question is how the world will react. Those online attacks could be the forerunner of something so much worse...
5303395
According to the day-by-day plan for how things progress, Rainbow is literally 20% faster.
why do i feel that dr. simpson is gonna be a white pegasus, with optional horn
to doctor howard
do you honestly belive that you had much of anything to do with this?
think about it for a long carefull moment, could ANYTHING known to science have posibly caused this, could the retroviral agent you developed as it was POSIBLY have done something this earthshakeing?
or perhaps do you think...something else....intervened in your work?
This has been great fun to read through.
Discord would be proud of you, Penny.
That would be so much fun to be able to do. Boop, that one's an ice sculpture. Boop, topiary. Boop, Jell-O. Boop, literally a toaster now. Boop, tumbleweed. Boop, stained glass window. Some of them really deserve something like that, too.
5321899 Glad someone got that.