Friendship is Card Games: The Wright Stuff & Hell is Other Puppies · 12:49pm Feb 23rd, 2020
This week, we return to the main comics, though these two feel more like Friends Forever issues that missed the boat.
The Wright Stuff
Well, there doesn't appear to be an official name for these issues, but that's what I'm going to call it. 
… Huh. I’m not sure what to think about this style, especially on this first page. It’s like the artist did a few pony drawings and slapped the rest together with stock backgrounds and pony vectors. Scootaloo in particular looks ripped off, especially given her positively minute cutie mark.
Oh my word, what even is that perspective on the scooter handles in that first panel? to say nothing of the stylistic contrasts between vector traces and more original stuff… or possibly taces of different artists. A lot of different muzzle styles on display here.
Oh right, the story. Rumble flying with the Wonderbolts! Scootaloo genuinely happy for him rather than being jealous (as far as I can tell)! Some kind of fair at the academy, including snacks and a photo booth… ? Weird, but I suppose Rumble won’t be the only honorary junior Wonderbolt maybe?
Yeah, Dash would know all about the dangers of showing off during a Wonderbolts show. Heck, so would Scootaloo. The interesting thing is that it’s Thunderlane telling Rumble to “remember last time.” Is that also a “Newbie Dash” reference, or has Rumble done something that foolish himself?
… Wait, why isn’t Dash in this formation? Different team? I barely recognize any of these Wonderbolts.
… Okay, I’m confused. Red Bank’s going too fast, and then ends up with Rumble, who’s behind Thunderlane, while an apparently unrelated rainbow contrail sideswipes him into a random Assassin’s Creed hay cart. What?
Dr. Greymare, who is a stallion and also an earth pony, apparently got called in from Ponyville to look after Rumble. Apparently the Wonderbolts don’t have any medical staff on site? The artist already made some original Wonderbolts; why not a pegamedic as well?
Also, Spitfire can apparently issue orders to a literal child. I’m going to just assume that’s her way of telling an overeager kid to rest up rather than Rumble actually being part of the chain of command.
“Looks like we’re both grounded, huh?” Oh. Oh wow. How’s that hoof taste, Rumble?
The Rumbloo is strong with this comic.
Ah, the good ol’ Crusader fallback: When in doubt, go look for trouble.
Huh. Not sure why there was a No Entry sign in front of the museum. Seems to be in working order.
Looks like Cherry Berry isn’t the first earth pony to long for the sky. Of course, with a name like Wind Sock, it’s not exactly surprising he’d look to the heavens. Possible post-mark name change?
Interesting to see the Abysmal Abyss isn’t the only place where the winds don’t heed pegasi.
Wind Sock as the father of equine artificial flight… I like it. I’d complain about not seeing his legacy in canon, but Cherry Berry’s living evidence of ponies continuing to use and refine his work, along with things like Pinkie Pie’s peppermint pedalothopter. That it’s the pony he rescued telling the tale is both a lovely touch and gives a relatively concrete timescale. My only real complaint is that you’d think they’d cover this in history.
Oh. Right. Equestria. Not exactly the best historical literacy in fiction.
Oh, that’s why I didn’t recognize those other ‘Bolts. They were also foals. Which really wasn’t clear in that group shot. Seriously, look here. That mare to Thunderlane’s immediate right is supposed to be Rumble’s age.
At least she got grounded for it. If nothing else, the ‘Bolts have learned from Lightning Dust.
So… when is someone going to propose fitting Scootaloo with one of those glider rigs? Seriously, we now have a quasicanon solution for her disability. Heck, she helped build Rumble’s!
Wind Sock is literally still in living memory. A history exam is a key part of getting into the Wonderbolts. And ponies still don’t know about him. Yes, I know, created for the comic, but this does prove my point about Equestria’s horrible historica knowledge.
Wait, Dauntless is a general? How do ranks in this outfit even begin to work? Especially when you consider that it’s been led by a general, a commander, a captain, and an admiral.
An interesting issue, though the art took some time to get used to and the ramifications of the glider rig are woefully underexplored.
Hell is Other Puppies
Ah, another Pencils issue. This should help me recover. 
Ooh, lovely establishing shot… up until the explosion.
They really need to get a leash for Cerberus.
When Celestia gets steaming mad, I have to think it’s literal. The good news is that it makes making tea much easier… assuming she actually likes the stuff.
Alternatively, they should put a less… playful security system in place in Tartarus. I assume that’s on Twilight’s short list after she takes the throne.
Huh. Would you look at that? Celestia actually stepped up when the girls couldn’t get the job done. Good for her.
Also, I have to love how Cerberus has three immense food dishes labeled “Cer,” “Be,” and “Rus.”
Look, Tia, you already made Fluttershy give obedience lessons to Discord. She has every right to duck out of this one.
Wow, Pinkie. I know getting Cerberus squared away is important, but still, jerk move. (And there are other capable ponies in Equestria, Tia. You don’t have to rely on these six to do everything.)
There’s another point against Rarity: she has a cat. Very different manner of pet-owner relationship.
Yikes. If Rarity thought getting dragged to her destiny was bad, walking Cerberus makes it seem like a pleasant afternoon stroll.
I do appreciate how the others divide teasing and helping Rarity recover from the days efforts. Friendship in a nutshell right there.
Fluttershy has a point. Smart dogs do not deal with long stretches of inactivity very well… which makes this one all the less well suited for guarding the gates of a blend of Hell and a supermax prison.
Dare I ask where that enormous bone even came from? Pretty sure that femur alone is as long as Rarity.
I do love seeing a Fluttershy making use of trained fireflies. Who else could?
“And a lovely evening to you, too.”
That just feels wrong coming from Scootaloo.
Some excellent perspective from Sweetie Belle. Not necessarily wise or polite to call your older sister a monster, but insightful nonetheless.
Ooh, meteor shower. Probably a different swarm than the one in “Owl’s Well That Ends Well;” I doubt it’s been that long.
The thought occurs that the obedience training done to ensure Cerberus doesn’t leaves his post seems to require him to leave his post.
Oh, okay, Tartarus was just off camera.
“But no one can keep watch quite as well as you.”
Citation needed.
Celestia didn’t really pick you for the job, Rarity… other than by deliberately asking you last. Clever girl…
Given those three balls, I could make a joke about Pondering Mage, but that seems too easy.
A shame we don’t get to see the payoff for this issue, but it’s still a good lesson. Everyone needs to find the right work-life balance to keep them happy and productive.
As I said, very Friends Forever feel with these issues, one Scootaloo and Rumble, the other Rarity and Cerberus. Not exactly the narrative heft or high stakes of the Nightmare Knights series, but still fun reads.
Medic! W
Instant
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to target creature you control this turn.
Overload 2W (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change its text by replacing all instances of “target” with “each.”)
Ground Support 1W
Creature — Pegasus Advisor
2W: Target creature gains lifelink until end of turn. This ability cost 2 less to activate if it targets a Pegasus.
“I'd rather make dozens of ponies be the best they can be than earn glory for myself.”
2/1
Starburst Maneuver 2W
Instant
Choose one —
• Starburst Maneuver deals 2 damage to each attacking creature of the color of your choice.
• Starburst Maneuver deals 2 damage to each blocking creature of the color of your choice.
Warden Fireflies 2W
Creature — Insect
Flying
Warden Fireflies may block any number of creatures.
Whenever Warden Fireflies blocks, you gain 2 life for each creature it blocks.
Fluttershy has many ways to turn away would-be visitors.
1/3
Academy Commandant 3WW
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Whenever Academy Commandant or another nontoken Pegasus enters the battlefield under your control, create a 1/1 white Pegasus creature token with flying.
The Wonderbolts entice pegasi of all ages.
2/4
Wonderbolt General 3WW
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Other creatures you control with flying get +1/+1.
Skirmish 3WW (Whenever this creature attacks, you may pay 3WW. If you do, create a token copy of it that’s tapped and attacking. Exile the token at end of combat.)
3/3
Obedience Training U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you don’t control
1U: Put a heel counter on enchanted creature. Then if the number of heel counters on that creature is equal to or greater than its power, sacrifice Obedience Training. If you do, gain control of that creature.
Wing Sprain U
Instant
Tap target creature. If that creature has flying, it doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step. Scry 1.
”Your prognosis looks fine, but you’ll still want to stay on the ground for the next few days.”
Mental Reset 1U
Instant
Put all cards in your hand on the bottom of your library in a random order, then draw that many cards plus one.
“Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away from the problem and come back fresh.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Museum Break-In 4UU
Sorcery
Search target opponent’s library for a historic nonland card and reveal it. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then that player shuffles their library. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
Pits of Tartarus 4BB
Enchantment
Whenever a creature is dealt damage, exile it.
If a creature card would be put into a graveyard from anywhere, exile that card instead.
“Death. I remember death. I miss it.”
—Lord Tirek
Break Loose 1R
Instant
Goad target creature. That creature gets +3/+0 until end of turn. (Until your next turn, that creature attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Even eternal guardians can get bored.
Experimental Aeronaut 2R
Creature — Pony Artificer
At the beginning of each upkeep, flip a coin. If you win the flip, Experimental Aeronaut gains flying until end of turn.
“I try to keep notes, but they get blown away every time the glider works.”
3/2
Hold on Tight 2RR
Sorcery
Until end of turn, creatures you control gain trample and have base power equal to the greatest power among creatures you control.
“It’s very much like getting Rainbow Dash in for a fitting.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Scampering Cerberus 3R
Creature — Hound
Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, normal, and last-strike combat damage.)
Escape—4RR, Exile three other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
Scampering Cerberus escapes with a +1/+1 counter on it.
1/3
Breezewood Crosswinds G
Instant
Target creature with flying loses flying until end of turn. Breezewood Crosswinds deals 3 damage to that creature.
Some pegasi say Breezewood Canyon was the result of an ancient earth pony curse. Others just avoid the place.
Canvas Glider 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has flying and vigilance.
Equip 2
After countless failed designs, each more elaborate than the last, Wind Sock found the solution in a blend of simplicity and necessity.
Unearthed Femur 2
Artifact
T: Add C.
2, T, Sacrifice Unearthed Femur: Return target Dinosaur card from your graveyard to your hand.
You could look for the right piece of amber with the right mosquito with the right blood sample, or you could just use magic.
Wonderbolt Memorials 3
Artifact
T: Add W.
8WW, Sacrifice Wonderbolt Memorials: Create X 1/1 white Pegasus tokens with flying, where X is your life total.
Centuries of heroes inspire those who follow in their contrail.
Young Hotshot RW
Creature — Pegasus Berserker
Flying
Young Hotshot attacks each combat if able.
At the beginning of combat on your turn, another target creature you control can’t attack or block until your next turn.
3/1
Gathered Detritus 2(bg)
Enchantment
2, Exile two cards from your graveyard: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.
“I can’t say the ‘mane full of twigs’ look will go over well in Canterlot, but it has its uses.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Either that, or born to pegasus parents who chose the name before getting his tribe checked.
Since when are those different things? Especially in fantasy settings where the former both explicitly exists and can experience jailbreaks?
No real Alerts this time, but this card in particular is neat, combining the "can block any number of creatures" effect with flying to block more creatures and a lifegain effect that mitigates trample. Find a way to recur it and Red Deck Loses.
5208405
No Inside Baseball Alert for the fact that the Wonderbolt Memorials sacs to cast Storm Herd? Feels like it should be in a Magus cycle or some such, like how Celestial Totem was a delightful reference to the Weatherseed Totem cycle, but there doesn't seem to be a cycle of artifacts that sacrifice to cast iconic spells from history.
The flavour of several of these is fantastic... especially Scampering Cerberus is the perfect way to use both triple strike and escape. Breezewood Crosswinds is one of those cards I can't believe hasn't been printed: Leaf Arrow exists, Canopy Claws exists, Vertigo and Earthbind exist, but this most natural modern version isn't printed yet.
5208948
Remember, there are literally Over Nine Thousand unique MtG cards at this point. I don't know all of them off by heart like some people probably do. Oh, but on further reading:
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Pits of Tartarus' first ability will technically trigger on lethal damage, but it'll be killed as a state-based action before the ability actually resolves and exiled by the second ability instead. This specific case is totally irrelevant due to the aforementioned second ability, but there's a lot of cases where that rule actually matters (most obviously Force of Savagery, which is fairly picky regarding which things can keep it on the board and probably better off in Kresh EDH or other decks that can profit from an 8-power creature immediately dying on entry)
Since when does Twilight have short lists?
5209231
Calling something a "short list" when it's incredibly long is a Magic the Gathering reference. Well, a Mark Rosewater reference, but nobody cares about the other stuff he's done except as a joke.