One Year Ago · 11:50pm Sep 12th, 2019
This isn't the announcements I was planning on doing, this is something else that, as much as I don't want to talk about it, I feel like need to. I don't think I've ever talked about this to anyone, except for the principal at my school. This is more or less of a vent for me, but this has been bothering me for a while.
When I was in 5th grade, I dated this kid. His name was Mike*. Mike was a pretty big support system for me. He was an outcast, just like I was. I defended anyone who would talk bad about him, and he did the same for me.
At least for a while. One day, after a few weeks, he broke up with me because of a dare. I was furious. Later, he told me it was all a joke, and I believed him. In just three days, he did it again. This time, I didn't take him back. I told him it was his fault and to stay away from me. He didn't believe that it was his fault. He would constantly call me names and taunt me whenever he got the chance. Since we rode the same bus, so that was fairly often. Fortunately, I only rode the bus on Tuesdays, so it wasn't every day, but it went on for the rest of the year.
When I entered 6th grade, I started riding the bus every day. On the first day, he seemed ready to put the past behind us. Because I'm way too forgiving, I believed him. Maybe I thought there was still a chance of us getting back together. The peace only lasted for a month. One day, he was suddenly really cold and distant. Making the same rude remarks he used to. I told the bus driver and she moved my seat. At that point in my life, I was finally starting to be accepted. I had a large group of friends, and a really good friend who I still talk to every day. However, people still felt more or less the same about him. He was narcissistic and rude to everyone to didn't bow down to his every word. I think there was some jealousy involved since I was starting to make friends, and the viscous behavior only got worse. It continued for majority of the year.
7th grade was the absolute worst of it. I tried asking the bus driver to move him, but since no one really like him, there was no place to move him that didn't upset someone. There were days when he would spend the entire bus ride, he would keep saying that I was a sl#t that nobody really likes. He said that all my friends were fake and they were just pretending to like me because they felt sorry for me. Since I was riding the bus often, I had to listen to this for an hour every. Single. Day. With no way out. Because whenever I tried to tell the bus driver, he would call me a 'tattletale' and would make sure he was up there with me, telling the bus driver that I was lying and all of this was my fault.
There was one day on that horrible bus ride home that I thought I had forgotten about, but it turns out I didn't. At this point, I was more or less used to be called a bi##h, a sl#t, and a wh##e. I was trying to ignore him, but he kept on interrupting my conversation, saying mean things about me. Then, he decided he wanted his arn to be on my seat. Since he was in the seat next to me, I tried to politely tell him that he would be blocking the aisle. He wouldn't listen. He just wouldn't listen. Then, it happened. He reached, and touched me. Touched me somewhere that I didn't like. I let him have his hands on the seat. I was too shocked to say no anymore. I got off the bus with my hands shaking. When I got on the next morning, instead of sitting close to the aisle like I normally do, I sat on the inside. He was still saying things to me. He had to say that everything that happened yesterday was my fault. He had to make sure he was right. As soon as I got to the classroom, I made a formal complaint on the school's website. And how was he punished for assault and years of bullying?
5 day suspension. That's it. When he came back, the bus driver still had him sitting the same spot as before. He yelled at me a lot. He made sure I knew that it was my fault that he was suspended. It was my fault his parents were mad at him. It was all my fault.
It never got that bad again. Everntually I started to befriend him just to get him to stop being mean to me. Deep down, I was always scared of him.
He rides a diffferent bus now, I haven't seen him at all this school year until my Spanish teacher got sick and I had to take a P.E. class instead. He made eye contact with me repeatedly. He looked me right in the eyes as he whispered something into someone's ear. I have no doubt it was about me.
I know I'm letting this get to me more than it should, and I shouldn't be letting my anxiety get the best of me just by seeing him. I know it wasn't my fault, but deep inside of me, I do think that it was somehow my fault. If I had taken him back, this wouldn't have happened. Its been almost one year since I made the complaint. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I don't think that I'll ever be able to forget about it,, but every day, I'm one step closer to getting better.
*name has been changed
He sucks. That's the issue here. Your fault? Bullcrap. It's him. He chose to do this. You are a victim. Stay as far away from him as possible.
If he hates you for no reason, give that sucker a reason. You are allowed to defend yourself, and nothing he can say will make a difference. If he does something like that again, kick him where the sun won't shine.
You chose the right path he sounds like the kind of person who would've just used you had you stayed.
Dm me on Discord if you need to vent more, my info is on my page
If Mike doesn’t stop, make him stop.
If his parents are angry at you, call them out for enabling Mike to be the rotten asshole that he is.
If the parents don’t do anything about it, tell them that they are even worse than Mike. I mean, what are they gonna do about it? Harm an innocent person because he or she is telling the truth?
You did the absolute right thing in reporting him, Twilight. And if he harasses you any further in any sort of way, report him again. That is the only way to get people like him to stop and to keep them from harming you or others.
Don't let this jerk intimidate you. You don't deserve to be treated that way.
If it was me as soon as he touched me I would have curb stomped him.You dealt with this s*** enough enough is enough.you can also get a restraining order on him and if he violates even at school he is unable to talk to you or about you. There's also the fact that if you report he touched you he could be arrested for sexual assault
If you need a vent again just wright. we're here for you
This community is here for you
OK. It isn't your fault that this guy is just a rotten arsehole! It's his fault! Enough is enough, If he tries this shite again, report him again. Do it again, and again, and again, until he gets the message. And if he doesn't stop, ever, just keep going and reporting him. Hopefully, eventually, he does get the message. Or at the very least, get a punishment fitting the crime. And if he touches you like that again, or do anything clo\se to something that bad, be strong, and punch him in the face! Just get one good blow in! Don't take his shite anymore!
And feel free to vent any time. We're here for you. All of us.
I hope your ok
I'm sorry. There usually is someone who just wants to annoy you, or commits crimes like that. I really hope he gets expelled. And yeah, you should make sure he knows that you aren't okay with what he's done.
Unfortunately, the lack of correct and effective discipline options and social skills training means children like that boy end up being men who abuse everyone they have a relationship with. While I have some sympathy that they often come from abusive homes (hurting people hurt people), that does not make the behavior any less hurtful or wrong.
This is patriarchy, looking you in the eye while whispering hurtful things in someone's ear.
I think a legal restraining order is the least thing I'd call for if any further actionable incident (meaning physical contact, usually, since schools don't have a lot of people trained in recognizing and defusing abuse) occurs.
Frankly, I think martial arts training is a good idea.
This guy sounds like he's never gonna learn, until he takes it too far and winds up paying for it dearly. He's utter scum and you should have nothing to do with him