First of the edits

It took me a while, because of a lot of things happening recently. Either way, I finished rewriting Chapter 1, so I'd ask any who feel up to it, read the new version and tell what you think of it.

I think it's better than the previous incarnation, but I could very well be biased.

Comments

[Neece]

Interesting and considerably more apt at intruding the story. I just hope you're not looking into rewriting it all, that'd take an enormous amount of time when the story is good as a whole.

[The Whiskey Spirit]

5093054
No, just the first couple chapters and touching up some of the rougher parts later on. Probably rewrite the latest chapter to make the character reasoning in the backstory more realistic.

Gonna post patch notes when I'm done with everything.

[Greenhorn]

I couldn't remember the previous version, but did you remove the presence of the Element Bearers from the scene entirely? The Princesses called for the aid of the Elements but did not wait till them arrive to take action. If she was worried enough to require the aid of the Elements, she should most likely brief them before approaching the target. (and the convoy was slow as heck to arrive after everything was taken care of)