A Letter For Moms Who Have Discovered Age Play · 6:13am Mar 11th, 2019
So I wrote this letter a few months ago for an event for the organization ABDL Truth, and I wanted to share it in case any ABDL's on this site are going through their parents finding out about that part of themselves, or maybe for any Mom's on here who have found out about this. An explanatory letter about this sort of thing and how it works. And maybe for ABDL's on here something to share with their parents should they feel like telling them about this. I hope that it helps someone out there by sharing. Enjoy.
To The Mom Who Found Out That Their Child Likes To Act Like A Child,
I’m sure you have a million questions right now. You’re probably confused and worried, and unsure of what to do with this information. I understand how scary this can be, but I am here to hopefully alleviate some of that fear. My name is Cloe, and I have been a Mommy in this community for three years.
I want to tell you two things right off the bat: There is nothing wrong with your child, and you are not at fault for this, since it isn’t a fault thing. Your child has discovered a world where they can feel safer, and more like themselves. This is not a world of deviancy or fear. It is a world of love and safety. Many people, no matter what their physical age, find it comforting to regress to an age where they didn’t have to worry so much. It is much more common than you might think. It is a coping skill for many, and others just do it for fun. Through my years in the community, I have met many people who try and pinpoint a particular reason for this behavior, and there honestly isn’t one. There is no incident you can look at and point to and say, “That’s why this happened”. It doesn’t work that way. It is a complex thing, and you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the answer when there might not be one.
By now you’re probably wondering, “What is this thing all about anyways?”. Well, I’ll tell you. The world of this goes by many names. Age Regression, ABDL (Which stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lover), Age Play, and sometimes just Role-play. Essentially, it’s someone going back to a younger age than they are. Some people regress to the age of a child (10-6), others to the age of a toddler (5-3), and as the name implies, to babies (2 and Under). Every Age Player has different preferences depending on the age they regress to, although sometimes they may borrow from other groups. For example, A person who regresses to the age of five may still enjoy using a pacifier like a baby. Trying to fit your child into one box in that way may not be completely accurate, so you should keep an open mind in this sense. A common occurrence would be people who consider themselves to regress to an older age preferring to use incontinence products, like Diapers, Pull Ups, or Training Pants. That portion of it, should it apply to your child, is usually about creating a sense of safety.
This probably leads into your next question: Is this a fetish? The answer is yes and no, depending on the person. For some people it can be a fetish, particularly for those who enjoy diapers (Hence the DL portion of ABDL). Some Diaper Lovers do not regress to another age when they wear them. So if you found diapers in your child’s room, they may not be an age player. They may just be a diaper lover. For those who are both Age Players and Diaper Lovers, It can still be a fetish.
People who regress sometimes have caregivers (Abbreviated as CG’s) who take care of them. They may have a Mommy, or a Daddy, or someone they consider to be a big brother or sister. There are all kinds of ways to view caregivers out there. Mommy Dom’s and Daddy Dom’s can have different approaches to how they give their care. Sometimes it is a sexual thing. Other times, it completely is not. It just depends on the relationship. But don’t be mistaken, because this is a world all about consent, and nothing is done without permission in a healthy caregiver and little (another word for age regressor) relationship. Personally, I am a nonsexual Mommy. I don’t believe in any of the sexual aspects that can be at play in this because I feel that it taints something I find incredibly pure. But I also know that not all littles feel this way. It is important to note that not all littles have caregivers. Some may want one, and some may not. It depends on the person. What I can tell you, though, is that if your child does have or want a caregiver, it does not in any form replace you.
I think a lot of littles worry that their parents will think that if they find out, and it absolutely is not true. They still need you, and they always will. But sometimes this is a thing they feel uncomfortable or embarrassed talking about, especially with their family because they fear judgement. This is a world with a lot of negative stigmas attached. Even the kindest and most loving and understanding of parents find reason to judge this sort of thing, and many littles fear that. What so many littles want most is to feel accepted and safe, and so they may hide this from you because the shame is too much. And it’s not just you they might hide it from. It’s friends, significant others, grandparents, family. There is a good reason why many littles do not seek out caregivers, and it’s because of the fear.
So you’re probably thinking at this point: What do I do now? Well, there are a few things you can do with all of this.
The first thing to do is educate yourself. Going into this without the facts is not the way to go. Do research and find out more. Reading this letter is a great step in that. Learn as much as you can, because one of the worst things you can do is seem ignorant about something that your child may place a lot of importance on.
Secondly, and likely the most obvious thing, is to talk with your child. Learn about this from their perspective. They may be hesitant to talk to you about it, whether out of embarrassment or shame or fear. When you do this there are a few things to remember. Keep an open mind because that will make the process much easier. Try not to react unkindly if there are certain behaviors you do not agree with. Reassure them that you love them no matter what, because at the end of the day, that’s what they need most from you. Ask them questions and do what you can to understand. After you talk to them, you can sort things out on your own from there. They may need space for a while after that conversation because it can take an emotional toll, so try and give them that so they can work through how they feel about it. But after you have your thoughts sorted out, come back to them and talk about it. Keeping an open line of communication between yourself and them is absolutely essential in this kind of situation. They need to feel that they can come to you with anything.
The last thing is more of a decision for you and your child to make together. Decide if you want to be involved in this and ask if they want you to be. Some kids do want their parents to take care of them, while others may not. It is vital that you put their feelings ahead of your own in this situation. You may want to jump on board with this after you’ve gotten things squared away, but ultimately it is their decision whether they let you into such a personal part of their world. The importance of that cannot be understated. This is their choice, and as much as you might like it to be yours, it is not. The best thing you can do after they decide where they want to go from there is support them, even if it hurts you.
For those of you moms who do get involved, I wanted to write you a few things to remember and avoid when caring for your little one.
Littles hate being ignored, treated like they're not important, and feeling forgotten. It is literally your job (should you take up this mantle) to make them feel like the most special child that ever walked the earth, and it should not be taken lightly. If you get mad at your little one, do everything you can to not say something hurtful to them (a big one for a lot of littles is being called annoying, so avoid that as best you can), and if you do, apologize. They need to hear that. Sometimes your little one might feel like you’re too busy but really want time with you, so try and put aside time for them. Don’t deny them kisses and hugs, because they need that from you now just like they did as an actual child. And if your little one is or eventually moves away (be it near or far) do what you can to bridge the gap. Send care packages, skype, make phone calls, text, write letters and do drawings, literally anything helps. And above all, love them. Show them support. That’s what they need the most.
I hope this letter helps you understand things from a new perspective. I wish I could be there to talk with you in person, but this was the best I could do. If nothing else, I wish you luck on this journey of discovery, and I hope that you and your child grow from this experience. I wish you both many years of love and joy in the future.
With Love,
Cloe
(Mommy to a Five Year Old in a Twenty Five Year Old’s body)
Very well written.