Answering your comments - A Girl and Her Alligator · 4:39pm Feb 6th, 2019
Rather than answer all of your comments on A Girl and Her Alligator individually, I think that writing a blog to address some of your questions / complaints will be more easier.
First of all, I would like to say thanks for helping the story reach the featured box. I didn't have high expectations for it to begin with, but it managed to surprise me with how many views and ratings it got within only minutes of it passing moderation.
Second, let's get down to the point of this blog.
Why is the abuser always the father?
Fair question. Yes, it's true that most abuse stories involve the husband / father as the abuser, for whatever reason there may be for it. Well, I guess it narrows down to the main stereotype of a drunken abuser, which is always a man, seeing as men are seen as heavier drinkers than women. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's always the man.
The story that partially inspired A Girl and Her Alligator, Tainted Colors, involved Rainbow Dash's mother as the abuser, whom also took to alcohol-fueled domestic abuse against her daughter after her father walked out on her. After I read the story, I can't remember a moment when I didn't think about writing an abuse story of my own. However, I do happen to have one or two stories in my listings following the topic of abuse, such as Defiled Loyalty and The 'Shy' in 'Fluttershy'.
I mean, in real life, alcoholics are more than likely to become an abuser towards their children or partner, regardless of their gender. I didn't necessarily intend for Pinkie's father to be the abuser in the story that was causing Pinkie severe pain, but it just kinda happened. Originally, I was going to have both of her parents be abusers towards her, but I decided against it because I thought it would be different to have one parent not being abusive and willing to defend their child against the one causing the pain, only to take the penalty of getting a beating themselves.
The pacing was too fast
It was intended to be fast, so that's why. It's a drama / horror piece of fanfiction that was intended to have fast scenes, lots of descriptions and detail, emotion and depth. At least, that's what I was going for.
It's too long
No, it isn't. It doesn't matter if a story is long or short. It ends whenever it ends. That's the beauty of storytelling: you never know when it's going to end or what's going to happen next. You sit, you begin to write, you introduce your characters, you introduce the readers to the world, you express certain problems, otherwise called the Inciting Incident, and then you work around said problems until you reach the resolution and climax of the story. It takes however long it takes.
'We didn't need an entire paragraph telling us how someone smells'
Actually, you do. It was supposed to be a hint at why Pinkie's father is abusive. A heavy smoker and an alcoholic. He always drinks and smokes, which is a stereotype by this point. I put it there with the intention of the readers figuring out for themselves what the main cause of the abuse was, so apologies if that was not clear enough.
We've all seen it before
Oh, really? Name one. The only one that I've read or even noticed before was Tainted Colors. I'm not saying that there are not any abuse stories on this site, mainly because there is a fair few, but they are not incredibly common to the point where it rivals FlutterDash or RariJack.
Pinkie's father's dialogue
Alright, I do admit it. If he seems like your average mustache-twiddling super villain, it's because I wasn't entirely sure what to have him say. I didn't really want to or even think about him saying anything because the route the story took near the end wasn't exactly planned, just like my other stories.
Mental ward or prison sentence?
How's this - we'll just compromise and say mental ward in a prison facility.
Why did I write this?
Because I wanted to and because I'm a sad, sad bastard with nothing better to do. (No, seriously, if I didn't get it out, I'd likely be taking painkillers for my migraines on the hour until I wrote it.)
What do I think about the story myself?
Well, if you want my honest opinion, although I do like it, even I agree that there could be some improvement in certain areas, such as greater depth.
The main section of the story where I wanted to include more intimate details to further paint a picture of the severity of Pinkie's wounds was in the bathroom as she was looking at herself naked in the mirror. If you want to hear the truth, the story was not originally going to be an abuse story. It was going to be a self-harm / suicide story and I was instead going to show Pinkie as having slashed and scratched her own arm up as I touched upon her dark side.
I hate talking about it, but I'll be open enough to say that I do have the occasional dark thoughts, and I'm not ashamed to admit that my mind is like a rolling land of horror, and that is why I write stuff that you might expect from Stephen King. (Love his work, by the way!) I love to write nightmarish stories full of despair, hatred, doom and gloom. Anyone who has read my stories will know that for a fact.
Anyway, getting back to the point, I think that the story is in a good standing, and that's my judgement based upon the ratings and the fact that it made it into the featured box twice in the time span of eighteen hours of the story being submitted. I'm massively thankful for that, so gracias.
I also get why some of you might have some issues with a story such as this, but the truth of the matter is, if you don't like these types of stories or you know for sure that you hate them, then I think I speak for other authors who write the same stuff when I say, 'Don't read it, then!'. If you do, expect me to make fun out of your comments. Joking is what I do best, so you have been warned.
If there's anything else that I've missed, then PM me or ask a question in the comments and I'll see what I can do to answer it.
Thank you for these points. I'd say that your work is superior to Tainted Colors in some respects, but that is just my opinion.
If I remember correctly, at that point in the story I actually thought Pinkie had done self-harm. (The action of which I’m heavily against, mind you, but not in the sense that I’ll ridicule or persecute you, rather in the sense that I’ll try to help if you let me (do note that I’m rather inept socially, meaning that I might say something I shouldn’t or social cues might just fly right over my head (doesn’t help that I have Asperger’s)))
5008990
That's nice of you to say, but I wouldn't put that high of a comment on my work! The author of Tainted Colors did very well in his descriptions and general ideas, and he made a very clear picture of what domestic violence can do to someone's mental health and how much they may try to hide it. I just did my best and hoped that it did well in terms of viewership.
5009016
And on that note, you more than succeeded.