Merry Christmas · 11:12pm Dec 23rd, 2018
I maybe unable to finish my goals here, but I now have an 8 or 9 hour job. I might loose this job at any moment, I might find myself dealing with some of the most entitled people on earth as a Bank Customer Service Agent. I may work on Christmass eve fro the first time in my life due to me always being used to winter break, and at the same time only working for myself in the past. (And only part time.)
But in the end Christmas Time is coming and I am trying to make myself happier. Trying to see the fact that at the very least I am employed after months of searching after my University prospects went to hell, and I am no longer able to study without going into massive life crippling debt.
But at least I am not going to be looked at with disgust by others that associate with father for not having a job and not having a degree at 26. At the very least I am considered a part of society. One that is treated like crap, and is a crony for the most evil thing in the modern world. (The Banking Institution). But a member of society never the less.
I will hold on to my dreams of becoming a full time writer and making an impact that will give humanity a chance at a future, an actual future were the stars are a real conceivable aspiration.
I maybe a failed Engineer (could not finish the degree), a now busyness school dropout, that is a virgin at 26 with no friends that was rejected by the Army due to my weight and psychiatric history.
But the heart that wanted to be a hero, that wanted to actually see a world of hope is there. I maybe a fool. But maybe I am worth existing..... I only wish that I could convince my brain to actually like my job.
If only....
I think you are a really great author. Don't give up on writing or making the awesome universes you do. And I think it is great that you have a regular job you can take pride in. You are moving forward in the right direction. You are going to reach all of your goals in no time. I am always here if you need advice, support, or friendship. I believe in you! Keep on being awesome. Many hugs to you my friend.