I am bad at blogs... · 4:49pm Sep 9th, 2018
Like seriously, I never have a lot to say. I usually type out a couple of paragraphs and post some random shit, or self promotion. I am going somewhere with this though.
I recently had a few friends deal with some difficult situations. Everything rational in me says I should be supportive for other people, even a couple of random people on here got "hang in there" messages from me as I come across their struggles. I really do wish the best for many people, but I recently had a thought. Am I qualified to be supportive as I am struggling with any of my given issues? I seriously find it difficult to be a 'nice' person, I am crass, rough spoken, violent (not abusive though I question that sometimes), and just generally an asshole. I do not show this online, as I am generally a timid person and I struggle to even be able to message a stranger.
I currently refuse to seek any actual help, but reading a few of the blog posts on here recently posted made me think that I should at least seek some kind of support. In an attempt to keep myself positive I try to at least hold a conversation with my friends on discord, but that is proving less and less reliable. I do not have any friends that know how bad I am right now, there are a couple that know I am not doing so great. Between my other friends there are too many problems for me to feel comfortable pushing my issues onto them, and I find any words I offer as support to them to be... not insincere, but maybe less sincere, like I edge what I say with jealousy that I can't get words of support.
I am not saying my friends are unsympathetic, a couple have offered me some words of support. Even through all of this and everything happening around me that affects me I just feel overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed by my problems, I am not willing to name my problems since I won't see a professional to have an accurate diagnoses, I am overwhelmed by the problems I feel obligated to help with, I feel obligated to be sympathetic, and I feel helpless with things I can not help with.
I guess I really wanted to vent. I had actually not intended to type this much, or even get this into what all is going on. Sorry for leaving this here, but I felt like I needed an outlet besides what I am writing in my stories.
I guess with all of this I owe an update on my projects.
Adagio of a Sunset chapter 3 - 20%ish I wrote a good bit of it in a notebook, just working out how I managed to skip half of the story I had planned. plan for late October.
Unnamed ship fic - 2% This is a hard story to write, specifically since I tried to have it done by today... I got distracted, expect it in mid 2019.
Twilight's Journal - ??% I started this and realized it was gonna be huge, I add it to my update list because I want to continue it.
Pop Ponies Perplex Perky Pony and Prickly Pal - I came up with this idea recently and changed the title for the alliteration, while this title works best with Coco Pommel the MC is actually Coloratura.
ah the struggles of writer without proper support. Don't I know this tragic story all too well >.<