Life is weird · 2:54am Aug 10th, 2018
You guys have seen me "return" to this site so many times now. Yet every time I am gone just as quickly. Life is weird for me though. I want to write and yet no words come. When I forget about writing and being creative is when my fingers itch to type out something.
I recently thought a lot about what exactly I want out of life. What my goals were. I realized something. I am trying too hard to find goals. I don't need goals, I have things in my life that make me happier than anything I could set a goal for. So I decided that I am going to write and see if I can actually get something finished that I think I could publish. I also realized why I could never write "on command". Writing because I had to felt like so much of a chore that I quit before I even started. I want to write because it's fun. That means I will never have regular releases of any sort. I want to write for fun again. I don't want my stories to feel like they trap me which is what they were doing. No more though.
I'm here and I am staying. Not because I HAVE to write but because I WANT to write.
Also, I spent almost 4 weeks in Sweden with my boyfriend. I got home a few days ago and I feel like life could not be better. For the first time in my life, I am truly happy with how things are going. I am done faking happiness to try and prove to myself that I am happy. I am going to be happy because I AM happy or I am going to do something about it.
Maybe nobody cares and that's ok. I'm here for me now. I am happy with my life and I want to do the things I love. Thank you for your time to all who read this whole thing. I am finally ok with being me. I am who I am. I don't have to be anything but who I am. If someone doesn't accept that then that is up to them. I am no longer going to try to please everyone else. I am gonna please myself.
That's the way writing should be, and welcome back!
4917524
Thanks. It means a lot to hear my thoughts validated. I know I am never going to be perfect. I also realized I am never going to be the best writer out there. I put too much pressure on myself to be better and I forgot how much fun I had getting to where I am. Watching my writing change over time has been so nice. I've developed my writing voice. It may not be the best but it's mine.
I think you're looking at things well. Sometimes it's best to let go of the wheel and let life take its course. One can never get the most quality work by forcing it.
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I had forgotten how much fun writing was because it had started to feel like a job.
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I know how that feels. I want to start again, I just need to figure out how I will start the first chapter of a new story
4917924
I wish you luck then.
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and to you as well
will you do Monster High Ghoul's Out in Equestria?
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The new chapter is already finished and is simply waiting for my friend to look it over as my pre-reader. A little patience on that, please. I did spring my return on them suddenly. It will be up soon.
oh. right. did you or your friends know their a reboot of monster high? also there live filme movie is coming in oct 6. can you believe that?
_____Ah, the relationship is going smoothly, I see.
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Hey stranger. Been a while.
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_____Right?
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Well, I'm back now so feel free to pm me whenever.