• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen January 5th

kudzuhaiku


She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.

More Blog Posts2119

  • 50 weeks
    It's late

    But my brain isn't quiet. I'm stoned out of my goddamn gourd. Don't worry, it is just my usual regimen of drugs. That's how I spent a lot of my time now. Wasted. Doesn't really help with the pain much, but makes it a bit more tolerable. All of my drugs cost over 5 grand a month. That's what it takes to keep me going. I'm in somewhat better shape because of all of it, and there's a few bright

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    10 comments · 1,229 views
  • 60 weeks
    Cyborgification is potentially a-go

    Finally found a doctor that didn't run screaming upon seeing my spine images and xrays. The team is coming together. Met with the neurosurgeon the other day, and he thinks I am an ideal candidate for augmentation. The transition is happening, I think. I still have to pass a psych evaluation and other steps, but I am closer now than ever. First I'll have the trial run; they'll sink electrodes into

    Read More

    33 comments · 930 views
  • 90 weeks
    Today, life changes forever.


    It's been a long, long road to get to this point. A big thank you to everyone who has been with me during this journey.

    25 comments · 989 views
  • 90 weeks
    Big changes are happening


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    35 comments · 1,229 views
  • 113 weeks
    I suppose it is time for an update

    Been meaning to this, and I've become the King of Pro-Crasty Nation. I kept wanting to report, but there was nothing to report, no good news at all, so I just... didn't. Sorry. Went a bit silent on my end. It just sorta happened.

    I finally got a lawyer willing to take up my case. After that, things started happening.

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    17 comments · 2,015 views
Jul
27th
2018

Stinky · 10:13pm Jul 27th, 2018

Alone in her room, Twilight squinted at Celestia’s message, trying to read words that just weren’t there. Instructions were minimal. There was nothing telling her to do anything in specific, just that issues of tribalism and unity now fell under her royal jurisdiction, as these were essentially friendship issues. After a few moments of frantically reading the same words over and over, it began to sink in that she now had immense responsibility of the worst sort: vague, undefined responsibility. If construed in the right away, almost anything could be seen as an issue of tribe or an issue of unity.

Which was, perhaps, the point. Twilight came to the conclusion that she carte blanche rule over Equestria at large. Celestia acknowledged the massive shift in power since becoming the avatar of Ink. As wonderful as this was, Twilight had no idea what Celestia wanted from this, what outcome. With growing excitement, Twilight realised this was a test, and tests were wonderful. A test was cause for celebration.

Perhaps some compromise could be reached, something that would make everypony happy.

Sitting on her bedside table was a bottle of perfume and when she glanced around, thoughtful, it caught her eye. This was a gift from Rarity, and it was made with ambergris. The fashionista had raved about it right up to the point where Twilight had reminded her that ambergris was whale vomit, and then the fabulous mare had lapsed into silence.

Normally, Twilight never bothered with perfume, but things had changed. She had changed. Now she had disconcerting thoughts about being pretty and minding her appearance. Those had always been rather minor concerns but now with Pinkie Pie and Seville… being pretty was now a lingering concern in her mind.

Embarrassed, she levitated the bottle over, spritzed a bit of perfume beneath each wing, thinking of smelly, stinky, funky wingpits, and when she was done, she tossed the perfume into her suitcase. Then, when the worry did not subside, she extended each wing and gave a good, hearty test sniff. What lurked beneath almost knocked her right off her hooves. This… this was never a problem when she was a unicorn.

Before catching the train, she needed a shower.

Wake up Stinky Jean, oh what can it mean...

Report kudzuhaiku · 461 views · Story: Down With the Pastryarchy ·
Comments ( 4 )

Wake up Stinky Jean, oh what can it mean...

No daydreams for you.

Comment posted by Hobbestc deleted Jul 29th, 2018

Dang, after reading the chapter now I feel horrible! Pinkie needs her daydreams back!!!! Earth pony life is hard.

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