How to work a crowd · 6:31pm Jun 24th, 2018
Mind you, this is a rough copy, expect for bits to change. Editing still needs to take place. Blah, blah, blah.
Sitting upon Limestone’s back, Sumac Apple almost felt alone in the crowd, adrift in a hairy sea of equinity. Murmurs—like waves—rippled through the assembled herd, with the volume gaining and fading as they traveled from mouth to mouth. Behind him, Pebble clung tight to him, her excited, hot breath tickled the back of his neck, which did something marvellous to the whole of his body that he could scarce comprehend. Even Boomer was excited, enough so that she stayed awake, though she clearly struggled.
“We’re going to have to take this show on the road,” Gosling said to the crowd, his smooth voice pouring through the public address system like liquid joy. “I bet Manehattan would be a kickin’ place to raise the moon… or maybe even Ponyville—”
The cheer that rose up from the crowd like a leviathan from the deep was enough to drown out Gosling’s words and make Sumac’s ears ring. Introvert though he was, and as unsettled as he was in a crowd, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else right now. Gosling had a most wonderful voice, a fatherly voice that was appealing, desireable. At least, it was for Sumac. What the colt was unaware of was that those who listened all heard something different. Some heard the appealing voice of a fatherly figure, while others still heard the ideal voice of a husband or a mate, for such was the nature of Gosling’s subtle talent to make others happy.
When the crowd settled down a bit, Gosling continued: “So tell me, you fine, fine ponies… how would you like for me to marry you?”
Again, the crowd erupted into hooting and cheering, and Sumac was almost deafened by it. Grinning, Gosling leaned close to the microphone, his ears splayed out in a submissive pose, and not far from him, Princess Luna—eyes closed, body shaking—was coming undone with whooping, barking laugher. The prince had certainly stepped in it and Sumac, young as he was, understood the social blunder that had just happened.
“Words are hard, okay?” Gosling said, his smooth, sweet voice pouring out of the public announcement system like maple syrup. “Did I ever mess that up. Bed’s gonna be crowded later. Standing room only—”
“LEWD!” a mare standing near the dais shouted.
“I know, right?” Gosling inhaled and the sound caused a chaotic ripple to flow through the crowd as something that Sumac could not understand seemed to take over the adults.
Princess Luna was laughing so hard that she was crying, and she wiped her eyes with her foreleg. Meanwhile, her sister, Princess Celestia, she had a strange look upon her face that Sumac couldn’t read, but the big white mare was laughing—though not as hard as her sister. Even Limestone was laughing, and Sumac was jostled against Pebble because of Limestone’s boisterous outbursts.
“Well, now that I’ve made a colossal fool out of myself, we should talk about marriage. See, I’m here tonight as a student, and a part of my royal duties are the marriage of others. So this got sprung on me at the last moment. I’ve had no time to practice, nor rehearse, and I have no idea what I’m doing, as is clearly evidenced by my previous socially-inept solecism. At least, I think that counts as a solecism, because I’m pretty sure that it was my grammar that got me engaged to all of you fine ponies.”
Laughter—much of it of the drunken variety—poured like a flood from the crowd.
“There’s a lot of lovers here tonight. Don’t hide it, I can see the moon in your eyes. For that, I apologise, and I promise that I’ll make Luna behave herself.” He paused while the crowd roared and stomped, and seemed to be basking their riotous affection. “Luna needs to keep to keep that to herself.”
The ponies in the crowd were treated to witnessing the rare sight of Princess Celestia ditching her composure. Throwing back her head, she howled with laughter, the sound of which was enough to scare the gathered crowd into utter silence. But the silence did not last long, and after a few nervous, hesitant starts, the little ponies of the crowd joined the largest pony for a good laugh. As for Luna, she was gulping, gasping for air while prancing about in place, her eyes wide.
“I understand that marriages should be a serious, solemn occasion, so I am probably blowing this.” There was a long, dramatic pause, and when Gosling continued, it was with a fevered, mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Just like how some of you are going to blow your first night of marital bliss. Probably going to be a lot of blowing in the days to follow. Am I right? Watch the teeth, ladies… and lords, I suppose.”
Though he he had no idea of what was being said, Sumac could tell that the adults were having a grand time. This wasn’t the boring snorefest that he thought it would be. In fact, all things considered, Sumac found that he was having a mighty fine time, what, with Pebble’s forelegs wrapped around him and her hot breath against his neck.
“All jokes aside, marriage is a serious subject.” Gosling’s muzzle lingered near the microphone, his nostrils flaring wide as train tunnels. “If things go wrong, get help. That’s what Princess Cadance is for.” He gestured at the pink alicorn that stood in a cordoned off area. “Vows are pretty darn important and I think that you should keep them, even if it hurts sometimes. Yeah, I understand the complication in this, and I know things like abuse happens, and come morning, the papers are going to twist my words into pretzels… but you need to fight to keep those vows. Vows are what makes our great society strong. Everything begins and ends with the vows we keep. Vows to love one another, to have and to hold… especially that holding part. Vows to serve and protect. The vows that every guard takes. Just imagine what our society would be if we all disregarded our vows.”
A lull settled over the crowd, and every eye was focused on Gosling.
“Princess Cadance took a vow to help you keep your vows, just remember that.” Gosling lifted his head away from the microphone and his broad smile returned. “Now, back to that me marrying all of you at once part. Shall we get started?”
Progress goes slowly, as I am trying to capture a certain feel.
I love these little sneak peaks.
Also Gosling has a... way with words.