Now I understand Sakurai... · 1:15pm May 31st, 2018
This...
...was not...
...the plan.
Maybe many of you don't know, but Behind the Laugher was supposed to be my last MLP fanfic. This was because I had proposed it to myself a long time ago, it's true that I made a few stories between chapters so as not to have people waiting while writing the main one, but once the story was finished, I would retire.
And so it was for a while.
Until I realized that this has been my whole routine for the last couple of years. I couldn't move away from the site as much as I wanted, I wanted to continue being here.
However, little by little I was burning. During that break, other ideas came to me as time went by, giving me encouragement to continue, but I also struggled to stay true to my own promise. A part of me was jaded because I wanted to finish them and published them and put myself apart from MLP completely and another one was really enjoying writing again after a long time and I wanted to do it quietly.
Whatever.
I started writing these ideas, however I recalled having associated memories of pressure with my first stories or make many changes and copies with some of them. I felt that I wasn't going to be completely honest with myself, many of these new ideas didn't convince me and I couldn't write as many as before because the pressure of having to write and edit them within a limited period of time wouldn't let me enjoy them. Add to this that for a couple of months, I've been writing something else. Not a MLP fanfic or something similar, but something truly original that I would like to see in a store some day and to demostrate I've grow up as an author, even if that means leaving this site aside.
Many may have thought that in recent months I have been more... off, perhaps it was for that, but as much as I want to be demanding of myself, I refuse to give in to bitterness. That's why I'm not going to falter again.
Writing a story serves to capture what a person thinks and it's way of seeing the world. It has to show passion and affection, so I'm not going to push myself if I'm not in the mood. From now on I will publish something if I really want to do it and I will do my best so that, once I write something, I can be more excited than the first time. Expect a new story at some point during next month. I hope you can understand it.
You stared at the ride and the ride stared back. It never ends.
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That's why I said that now I understand Sakurai. You want to move on and try new things, but sometimes you're too attached to what you love.
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Its not a bad thing. I love MLP but it doesn't define me.