• Member Since 30th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Saturday

Pickleless


A man is driving home, thinking about beating his wife. Along the way, he passes a turtle. I am that turtle.

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May
23rd
2018

*Wakes up at 2 AM* · 10:08am May 23rd, 2018

Can’t sleep.

I didn’t eat yesterday, please tell me there’s a strawberry nutrient drink left in the fridge.

Chocolate flavo-

Aaaaaand we’re starving to death.

...

Sighs

Pops open chocolate drink.

I really, really don’t like chocolate...

Takes a single drink.

...You know now that I’ve reached this point I can say I rather starve for a day or two than eat chocolate because solid mass is entering my stomach and as it graces my toungue it’s not my subconscious asking me to spit it up.

Guys this is bad, I’m getting thin.
...
Losiiiiing alllllll thaaaat weiiiiight~!!

Going for that Barbie diet~ You know, the one where Barbie flat out told children to stop eating all together. The secret is be immortal and made out of plastic! A few have reached this point but usually stop at their breasts.

If my bone structure is neglected enough, eventually it’ll lose integrity and become brittle, more importantly, I’ll become so cute and small!

Protip: Am important part of the digestive process begins at your teeth and saliva. By not chewing your food, your body will waste my energy digesting things- never do any of this.

Comments ( 10 )

You should really eat something. Hope you get better soon.

Why was it even in your fridge if you hate chocolate?

So, pertinent question... why did you not eat yesterday?

Ouch. I knew a girl while I was in grade school who was allergic to chocolate. That made bringing in treats for birthdays difficult because we didn't want to exclude her.

Please go out today and do some food shopping. There is probably some good options for a diet at your local store besides not eating.

D48

...If you're in that rough shape, canned soup might be a good idea for something easy to eat. Alternatively, if you can get a little solid food down and want it to go as far as possible, I recommend Clif Bars because they are basically a block of concentrated calories and don't taste bad (just get a flavor that sounds good to you).

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Two fridges, I have a personal one and then there’s a group house one. I snagged the drink from the group fridge.
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Because I’m depressed~
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Trying to eat again. Small cups of cereal are doing the trick at the moment.

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Hope you feel better soon.

D48

4868330
...Well, that's an improvement at least, and it definitely sounds like a Clif Bar would be a good option since it's basically a meal in a package the size of those cereal cups.

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