• Member Since 27th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

JaketheGinger


There are a few Jakes on this website. I'm the ginger one.

More Blog Posts266

  • 44 weeks
    Steamed Hams but it's in reference to The Non-Compete Clause

    With thanks to Merc the Jerk for this terrible idea, but let's be honest, we're giving the episode much more attention than it deserves.


    *rings doorbell*

    “Well, Hasbro, I found a stream of it. Despite your Copyright Claims.”

    Read More

    3 comments · 240 views
  • 60 weeks
    I want to write again but I need your thoughts!

    Since I've settled into an easygoing life, with a new computer at my side, I'm getting that writing bug again. It pays to have friends who write in that regard, since you tend to look at them and be a little ashamed that you aren't matching their output at all.

    Read More

    10 comments · 232 views
  • 94 weeks
    Sunset Over Paradise

    If you're an impatient little troglodyte like me, you've no doubt already seen the three Equestria Girls specials, with English subtitles of course because as of right now they're only in Polish—

    Read More

    10 comments · 372 views
  • 125 weeks
    An Experimental Excerpt - The Pink Pioneer

    Sometimes I write. I promise. The process usually involves a huuuge ton of time thinking of how awesome an idea of mine would be... without nailing down many specifics or getting on with the damn thing. That said, once I do get writing, I can achieve a decent length in a short amount of time. I suppose that fits my personality; long bouts of distraction coupled with short, intense bursts of work.

    Read More

    7 comments · 329 views
  • 142 weeks
    I'm Feeling Quite Smug Right Now

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    7 comments · 418 views
May
12th
2018

Steamed Hams but it's in reference to The Non-Compete Clause · 7:16pm May 12th, 2018

With thanks to Merc the Jerk for this terrible idea, but let's be honest, we're giving the episode much more attention than it deserves.


*rings doorbell*

“Well, Hasbro, I found a stream of it. Despite your Copyright Claims.”

“Ah loyal fanbase, welcome! I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable episode!”

“Meh.”

*opens up door to find Non-Compete Clause burning in the writer’s room*

GASP

“Oh ye gods, my episode is ruined! … but what if, I copied the plot from Fall Weather Friends and disguised it as my own episode? Dohohoho, delightfully devilish, Hasbro.”

*fanbase opens up door to witness Hasbro looking retarded*

“Ah—”

[Don’t you know you’re all my very best FRIEEEENDS]

“Hasbroooo!”

“Ah bronies! I was just—er—making a reference to Season 1! Old brony nostalgia, care to join me?”

“Why are the ponies carrying idiot balls, Hasbro?”

“Oh no! Those aren’t idiot balls! It’s character progression! Character progression from all the development I’m writing in! Mmmmm, character progression!”

*fanbase leaves*

“Phew!”

*Hasbro proceeds to write a terrible episode full of bad characterisation, idiocy and all sorts of nonsense*

“Well fanbase I hope you’re prepared for mouthwatering character conflict!”

“I thought you said we were having character progression.”

“Ohohohoho no! I said conflict! That’s what I call character progression!”

“You call character progression character conflict?”

“Yes! It’s a writer’s technique.”

“Uh-huh. What writer’s group?”

“Uhh, the one’s on Disney?”

“Really? Because I worked on Star vs. The Forces of Evil and I’ve never used the phrase character conflict when I meant progression.”

“Not on Star Vs, no, it’s a Ducktales expression.”

“I see.”

*awkward silence as the episode plays out*

“You know the conflict presented seems quite similar to the one you see in Fall Weather Friends.”

“Dohohoho no! Patented Season 8 episode, old writer’s technique!”

“For a character conflict.”

“Yes!”

“And you call it character conflict despite the fact they’ve both acting out of character.”

“Uh—er—one thing I should—uh—excuse me for one moment.”

“Of course.”

*Hasbro steps through the door to find the small smoking ashes have turned into a dumpster fire that is this episode’s writing and quickly comes back to the fanbase*

Yaaaaaawns. “Well that was wonderful! Good time was had by all, I’m pooped!”

“Yes, the episode is almost over I should be—GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!”

“Er…. Teacher of the Month Award?”

“I—teacher of the month award?! In this Equestria, in this town, in this friendship school, won entirely by a single pony for multiple months on end in a popularity contest?!”

“... yes!”

“... can Pinkie win it?”

“... no.”

*The credits roll and the stream ends, fanbase prepares to leave, but a shrill executive's voice pierces the area*

“Hasbro! The stocks are on fire!”

“No investors, it’s just the Equestria Girls franchise.”

“Well Hasbro, you are an odd company but--no this was just terrible. What the fuck were you thinking?”

*Hasbro flashes a thumbs up as the episode and good-will of the earlier seasons’ episodes collapse around them*

“Help! Heeeelp!”


I'm not sorry.

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Comments ( 3 )

Yeah, not a promising first outing for this writer. And that's being far more charitable than she deserves.

Probably the most I've been disappointed in an episode since Daring Don't.

This episode was like Princess Spike levels of bad, and it was just as bad the first time when I saw it in the leak.

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