Apr
19th
2018
Idea Experiment · 11:21pm Apr 19th, 2018
So, it a discussion in the writers group devolved into a discussion of what makes a Mary Sue. I had an idea that I was curious about how people would address.
Let's take a character most people agree is a Mary Sue regardless of how they define Mary Sue, in this case Belle Swan from Twilight. While keeping the plot as close to possible the same, how do you un-Mary Sue her? How would you re-write this character and story so she is no longer a Mary Sue? What specific changes would you make?
How about a less decisive character for us to tear into?
4843484
Oh, I think she is a perfect character just because she is so strongly objected to. It is an exercise in constructive criticism with a character that a large audience is familiar with. How do you turn this into a more interesting character while keeping the plot close to the same.
For starters let's start at the beginning of the story, establishing a better setup for the vampire (I admit I can't remember his name) and her to actually meet and develop a relationship. That seems like a good place to start and one of the biggest complaints with the story as a whole.
4843488
It was all so bad there is no saving it. Silver bullets and bright sunlight would have done us a few favors, though.
For starters, how about someone who acts like she’s not already part of the undead? Didn’t help that they got probably the most deadpan looking actresses to portray her.
4843492
It sold over 100 million copies, that was a copy for at least one out of 80 people in the world. That says there is something worthwhile amongst the drivil of the greatest Mary Sue of her generation. The primary problem ultimately is with Belle Swan, so how do we fix her? How do we make this girl actually appealing to an audience? How do we make it so her story actually makes sense? (At least as much as any story about Vampires and Werewolf love triangles makes sense)
4843488
The author wrote like she hated her audience and thought they were stupid. Just mush. Even a sparkly vampire story could swing it if the author respected the audience and treated them as if they were intelligent.
That would probably solve most issues.
4843499
So she needs more personality? That makes her a bit more fun to read, but doesn't address her Mary Sue status much. Though if we could tie that in for.. well, a reason that her two supernatural lovers might actually like her, that might be a start.
4843504
Inject her with fear. I'm talking real fear. The inescapable nightmare level stuff. The kind of stuff that has the stoutest hearts faint and/or soil themselves. Or petrification stuff.
4843512
Okay, so that is a relatable response to vampires and werewolves being close at hand. How do you make her believably appealing to the two male protagonists? Pretty much anyone is going to be afraid, so there has to be more building on that.
4843512
The author didn't know what fear was, based on the dreck. If you can get a reader to experience the fear, you've got a winner.
4843516
I can't find anything to pretend to make up to make her more interesting. I'm stumped.
4843510
I was probably more focusing on the movies. Haven’t read the books. Don’t plan to.