Fic Reviews: A Train Bound for Nowhere · 2:54pm Apr 16th, 2018
Okay, this time, I'll be doing a short, 2,000 word one shot. Taking a jab at something I normally couldn't give a damn about, an Anon-A-Miss fic. And yet, somehow it's detached just enough from the comic and all the spin-off accusation fics that I read that make me hate the sub-genre so much I can't really call it an Anon-A-Miss fic. Interested? More after the break.
The story in question?
I've met a lot of people in my life, wandering from place to place. There are a lot of different types of people, but travelers on the long haul have a few distinct looks which stick in the mind.
I've seen a lot of people with eyes fixed on the horizon, unable to see where they were for the future stretched before them. (I've seen them die, not seeing the fall below their feet; the drugs, the police, their own failures.)
I've seen those obsessed with putting one foot in front of the other, obsessed with the journey itself. (I've seen them age, until they wander into a place, look around, and lay down roots, one way or another.)
I've seen people with a goal, something tangible; not necessarily a place, but an ideal, a destination. (The lucky ones find something good along the way, before the journey's end. Some never do.)
And then there are those like me. I've seen my face reflected in others' faces more times than I care to think about. We're running, one way or another; from our pasts, from the future, from who we are.
The girl who sat down three rows ahead of me had that look. Old, tired eyes in a face far too young to have them, tracks of old tears staining golden skin. Her hair, strands of red over yellow, hung limply from a knit cap, and she clutched an old backpack tight to her chest.
Now this, I really like, sets the mood in just a few short paragraphs, doesn't need to even tell us where we are, but the lead's internal momologue, and the description of Sunset sets things up just right. No grammer errors that I can catch, aside from Grammarly wanting ideal to be replaced with idea for whatever reason, and I'm not entirely sure that's an error. But I digress.
As the train pulled out of the station, I couldn't help but watch her. Whoever she was, she wasn't an old hand at traveling. She wore a bulky jacket in bright colors, and she didn't seem used to her surroundings. Despite the obvious pain in her face and the bags under her eyes, she wasn't trying to sleep. Maybe she was afraid of someone making off with her things.
As I watched her slowly sink down, something struck a cord with me. I rose up from my seat, lifted my pack, and wandered over to the row which faced her. Sinking into the seat, I saw her tense. Not that I blamed her; when a strange man with five o'clock shadow and a worn overcoat intrudes without warning, you have every right to be cautious.
At first, I said nothing, just looking her over. As the silence wore on, I turned my head to watch the suburbs recede into the night. Thinking, I decided to break the silence through confusion. "Where are you going from?"
Nice to know Sunset's holding the smart ball here. (And if you don't know what that is, look it up on TV Tropes) Really, there's a conversation here with the author of the fic that I'll repeat now that sums up what interests me about this fic so much.
Never thought I'd like a Anon-A-Miss one shot with Sunset saying "Just fuck it" and leaving. But, you actually, someone, managed to make me like this story. Maybe it was the song, maybe it was the emotions, I dunno. Major props to you either way.
Honestly? I don't know if Sunset said "fuck it" or not. She'll take te advice any way she wants. The story is unfinished, even in my head...
True, it is very open-ended, and we really don't know much about what prompted Sunset to skip town. She may just be going somewhere else to get away from things for a while till everything cools down for all the Hell I know.
Yes, song, I'll get to that in a minute. But really, as it stands and from what you'll see and have seen so far, this fic is very vague, and open-ended, I like that. Lets our imagination do the thinking, and what happens next for us.
"No. I meant, what are you leaving behind." I turned back to face her, only to see her eyes straining against the near-darkness outside.
"I'm leaving behind... a group of friends. Or, I thought they were." Her voice dragged, sleeplessness etched in each syllable. "I'm not certain they were, now."
See what I mean about the vagueness? Sunset never really even mentions it was Anon-A-Miss. For all we know, it could have been some other incident that as I said to the author, caused Sunset to skip town and we all just assume it was Anon-A-Miss.
"Nothing better to do." I replied. Pulling my deck of cards out of my pocket, I began to turn them over, worn edges tapping fingers as I shuffled. "Unless you're up for a game."
Turning back to me, she glanced at the cards in my hands. "...why do you care, anyway?" Looking up to catch my gaze, she frowned. "And how did you know i was running?"
"The way you hold your head. The way you hold your eyes. I've made a life out of reading people's faces, especially fellow travelers." I stacked the deck, then drew my cards, motioning for her to do the same. "Crazy eights. Know the game?"
"Yes." She picked up her cards, then looked up. She peered at me for a moment. "You called yourself a traveler. Are you-"
"Just that." I cut her off as I made the first play. "No other job. I guess if you wanted to give me a title, you could call me a gambler. But that's not really a profession, you know."
"If you're making a living off chance, I don't know why I should listen to you." The girl's voice had gotten a little steadier as we played. "But, if you could read me so well, maybe you have a calling elsewhere."
Playing my own card, and skipping her turn for a second, I replied. "Why would reading you be difficult? You're young, girl. Compared to the people I play against, you have a thousand tells."
"I hid being a monster for two years." She played a response. "I thought I was good at fooling people."
"Hmm. A monster, upset at losing her friends?"
"I've left that behind. But as soon as something went wrong, they thought I'd never changed."
Aside from the obvious reference that everyone should now pick up if you know your music, the character, I'll call him the Dealer after one of my favorite Fallout Equestria spin-off characters just for kicks, I like. Mysterious, vague, and yet he's intelligent enough to read everything about Sunset in one look at her.
As she stared at me, I grinned. "Take this, girl." Letting the money go, I sat back, staring out at the darkness. "You- you've got a choice here. I did too, once. I had a home, an angry family I was running from. I chose to take my money and run, just like you're doing. And I never found home again."
"Maybe you'll be different. Maybe you'll find what you're looking for. But I doubt it. You've go the look I carry- one which turns tail and flees as soon as things go wrong. It's new on you- but I can see it."
"Take those bills. Get off at the next stop. If you want, go buy a cup of coffee, a pack of cigarettes, or put a bet on dice or cards." I turned back to her, my voice soft. "Or do the hard thing. Pay for a ticket back. Turn around, face what's going on. Fight instead of running. You can run later, if you really have to, but I can tell; if you start running now, you might never stop."
She looked down at the bills, then back up at me. "And why haven't you turned to fight? Why have you kept running?"
"I went back, once. They were gone; parents dead two years after I left, brother gone to find an education. I'd run from home, never imagining that it would be gone if I ever went back." I stared at my hands. "Sometimes, you need to be there. You need to make a clean break before you leave. I didn't, and my search for home hasn't ever ended as a result." I looked up at her. "Go back. If you want to try to fix things or just want to leave with a clean mind, go back. You'll play the "what if" game for the rest of your life if you don't."
Honestly, I think I may like the Dealer here more than Sunset. Sunset's character here, while very little is told via dialogue and more by body language and actions, the Dealer here says a lot in spades if you excuse the pun. He's interesting, and honestly, I'd want a full fanfic about him, just so we know more about what led him up to this point, and on this never-ending train ride he's on, dispensing advice to those who need it.
"Experience is the best teacher, girl." I reached beside me, and pulled on my old hat, tipping it down to block the lights of the cabin. "I'd suggest you get some sleep. The road- one way or another,- is waiting in the morning." I was asleep as soon as I finished speaking.
Experience is the best teacher. That, that's a very good quote. You can actually feel the Dealer's emotions with almost every word he says, and get the feeling he really has seen it all.
Wrapped in paper, a small coin, made of gold and emblazoned with the sun on one side, a winged unicorn on the other. I didn't recognize the language, nor has anyone I've spoke to since. The note, on the other hand, was written in plain English.
"I don't think my hand's played out yet. Maybe yours isn't either. Thanks for the advice." It was unsigned.
I don't know what happened to the girl I met that cold night, a week before Christmas. I wonder, sometime, whether the next hard face- hair pulled into a ponytail or cropped short, puffy jacket traded for layers of coats- which boards the trains or buses I ride will be her, still running from a place which rejected her. I don't know if she went back, to make up with the friends, to prove she wasn't a monster. Maybe she ended it all, or had it ended for her; dying in a back room or at the feet of one thought a friend. Maybe she triumphed, one way or another.
Again, the vague ending which I commented about before. This is what I like, the fact the we never know what happened to Sunset, but judging by that note, it seems she's going back to try and fight her demons, face them head-on. And the best bit? Unlike the original song this is based one. Spoils the song a bit, maybe, but I'm a sucker for happy endings.
Honestly, this is a really good fic worth your time to at least check out, just for the originality alone (I'll do another series of quotes here in a minute from the comment section with Everydaygamer) and the characters.
I swear you're one of the only authors that choose to do something interesting with Anon-a-miss instead of just the usual trash.
Yeah, original Anon-A-Miss stories (And moreover, good ones) are so few and far between these days really. Mostly, they're just the same old crap inspired by Dainn's work.
Seriously, I mean sure it was a pretty good story but it would be nice if people could stop adding some gimmick to it then pretend it's something completely new.
Yeah, can't even claim to be "Original" really. Honestly, Anon-A-Miss is mostly a genre that's been driven into the ground by this point if you ask me. It's rare to actually find a story in this sub-genre of accusation fics (Which are usually pretty bad by themselves) that's actually worth the time to read. Funny, how two of the only Anon-A-Miss fics I like are by the same person, namely this author.
In all honesty, only one way to sum up this review.
How did I know you where going to end with that song after a story like this.
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...Because it's too good not to pass up?
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Well it has some of the best advice ever put in song.
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Yep, gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them...
I don't really mind the Anon-a-Miss fics. Maybe I haven't read enough to be repulse.
Anyways, this edition is really a good one and sure went in an entire and better direction.
It's nice to see a positive review. It's almost as good to write it. I appreciated seeing this, and I might consider finding the time to check on it.
But it's a lot more fun to watch a pile of crap catch fire from the flaming that you spit on bad stories. Goodness, I still crack up seeing the Hades gif on the frickin' dinosaur-meteor-Changeling-Equestria-crossover-seventh Element of Harmony-Gary Stu protagonist story of utter embarrassment.
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Made my day, this.