Guess what nation I'm in right now. · 3:26am Apr 15th, 2018
That's right, the Procrasti-nation!
(Cue crickets)
Fine. Well, while I'd rather be in the Imagi-nation, I have learned something new. Writing is hecking hard, and I'm stuck on both my currently-running stories. Meanwhile, I've got an upcoming speech on net neutrality and a ten-page paper on the growth of the automobile and I swear I'm going to flip a table.
So basically I haven't put as much work into my stories as I'd like. Sorry about that. Instead, I've been enjoying the wonderful world of distractions, like knitting a scarf, or figuring out how to draw an octopus, or cleaning the entire house because if I have to look at another dang article about Henry Ford with no concern for the considerable hard work on the automobile that was being done overseas I'm going to scream.
While I'm sitting at the bottom of this pit, staring up at all the deadlines whooshing past overhead, I may as well share with you one interesting idea I've had. You have probably seen those things where characters are sorted into Hogwarts houses. If you have managed to avoid seeing this, I congratulate you on finding a rung on the under-a-rock housing ladder. So I was thinking about this to myself while I was theoretically searching for someone to interview about the effects of net neutrality's repeal, and I thought "Hey. What if instead of Hogwarts houses, you sorted characters into Gallifreyan chapterhouses?"
If you have seen my profile image, you can probably guess that I like Doctor Who. One thing I really like about it is how deep its lore goes. If it isn't onscreen, it'll be in the audios, or the books, or the webmovies, or the comics, or this one really obscure out-of-print novel by Lawrence Miles that isn't even on the Wiki and can only be bought for the price of one (1) human soul. I'm exaggerating slightly here, but not much. The bad thing about that is, it gets to the point where things are really very hard to explain to folks outside the fandom. Heck, it's hard to explain to folks inside the fandom. Here, however, is the quick-and-dirty version of where baby Time Lords go to school.
When your average Time Lord (or indeed Time Lady) turns eight, they are taken to see the Untempered Schism, or as I like to call it, the Ripped Trousers of Rassilon. They gaze into the Time Vortex. Some go insane, some are inspired, some run away, etc. etc. Incidentally, remind me to tell you all about how Time Lords are basically Cthulhu in funny robes.
Anyway, after these children are scarred for life or whatever, they are sent to the Time Lord Academy, where they are put in a house. It's a bit like Hogwarts, except the student gets to choose where they go. My sister tells me it's like Divergent. I'm sure that means something to some of you, so let's go with that. Here are their options:
Prydonian: The most influential chapter, politically. Known for producing more Presidents than any other house. Also known for producing more runaways than any other house. They tend to be brash and headstrong. The Doctor and the Master are Prydonians. They wear red and orange. It was founded by Rassilon, aka the Lovecraftian Thomas Edison with a Label Maker.
Arcalian: The science nerds. Second most important chapter. They like to spend all their time locked in a library, reading old records of council meetings to bring up at the new council meetings. When they aren't doing that, they like to experiment with forces beyond the ken of man. I am probably an Arcalian. They wear green and brown and other earth tones. Founded by Omega, aka Rassilon's Ex-Boyfriend Stuck in Antimatter World.
Patrex: Artsy weirdos who nevertheless get a majority of the stuff on Gallifrey done, probably because they have more or less all the creative thought. They do paintings but also they invent time-traveling nanobots that can fly up your nose to mind-control you. Third-most influential chapter. They wear heliotrope and yellow which is a rather eye-burning pairing for the most artsy house. Founded by the Other, aka Possibly the Doctor Who.
Scendles: Constantly broke. They spent all their money just getting into politics. They're the hard-working backbone of Gallifrey, deeply pragmatic and efficient. They wear tan, pale gold, and cream. They were founded by Pandak, aka Grover Cleveland, Vampire Slayer (So called because he was President on at least two separate occasions).
Cerulean: Filthy plant-touchers. They just go out and... touch plants! Gross, right? They're tolerated because they're very good caretakers, so they're more or less the ones who grow the new baby TARDISes. Based on the Green Party. They wear blue. Founded by Lazuline, aka That Hippie.
Dromean: Quiet and observant, clear-headed and philosophical. They're usually considered the 'goth' chapter due to their quietness and their tendency to wear all black and silver. They like to watch the universe go by. Founded by Aperion, aka Wearing Spiked Boots All the Time Probably Didn't Help Shake the 'Goth' Thing.
There's also the Faction Paradox, but that is a story for another day. To sum up:
Prydonian = Rainbow Dash or Prince Blueblood
Arcalian = Moondancer
Patrex = Rarity, but she'd loathe the outfits.
Scendles = Applejack
Cerulean = Fluttershy
Dromes = Maud Pie
Faction Paradox probably equals Discord, or else Starlight Glimmer during the Cutie Re-mark. In other words, stay away.
Anyway, go forth in this virtually useless knowledge, for when sorting characters into Hogwarts houses just isn't nerdy enough.
-6&7
P.s. Happy Birthday, Peter Capaldi!
*blinks* Neat. Now I know more about Time Lord houses. Thank you.