A.I. writing fanfic!Braeburn's Ascension; or, the Courtship of Pinkamena Diane Pie--What Might Have Been · 10:01pm Mar 30th, 2018
Long promised and longer awaited, I’m ready to share the what if’s and why for’s of Braeburn’s Ascension; or, the Courtship of Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Though I don’t think I can talk much about it without first looking at the series that spawned it.
Blueblood’s Ascension is a series that holds a lot of nearness and dearness in my heart. A series that grew and metamorphosed almost as much as I did writing it. A series of triumphs and missteps, but overall I feel very good about it, looking back. It’s got its highs and lows, and seems to be a bit of a reflection on my entire library. A sort of microcosm of what I’m capable of bringing to the table. Or, at the least, it’s the jumping off point for a lot of themes and ideas I like to explore.
And, as usual, its starts the same way I start any series: with a comedic tale full of giggles, weirdness, and a bit of Pratchett flare. And, as usual, it ends the same way I end any series: with an incredibly emotionally heavy—bordering on depressing—epic that takes three years to write.
My only consistency is inconsistency, and Cerebus Syndrome is less an illness than a style choice.
One of my favorite things about the series is that it takes characters left to the wayside, background inconsequentials and one-shot guest stars, and seeks to expand upon them. Just how would these people be able to achieve something so grand as alicornhood? What would they do with new responsibilities? Powers? Life directions? For the most part, I filled out the character of several ponies fairly well. Do you remember Redheart? Lyra? Blueblood himself? Fla—[removed by editor]
No? That’s okay, I still do.
Two characters who received a slight bit less characterization were two of my favorites: Pinkie and Braeburn. Two crazy, energetic characters who seemed made for each other. And their cast of supporting characters! Cheese and Applejack and Maud and Big Mac! Winners every one!
Why do I bring up the Cerebus Syndrome and the side characters? Well, because that point was the genesis of the story itself. I sought to write a brighter spot to end off the Blueblood’s Ascension series, and wished to spend some time with characters I’ve loved a great deal since their first appearances.
So hey, why not write about how Pinkie Apple-Pie came to be?
With that prelude out of the way, I’ll take a moment to talk about what would have happened; what I intended for the story.
Naturally, I intended it to be a comedy through and through. The tone you see in the first two chapters would have carried their way into the rest of the story. Epic things would have happened, but with distinct air of fun, rather than real danger. Much like the first Blueblood’s Ascension.
I write with a mixture of seat-of-the-pants and intensely-planned-out styles. There are things that can and will happen, yes, but the “how” is usually spur-of-the-moment. Conversations meander, and are later trimmed. Action scenes are written as I see them. Humor is as spontaneous in the stories as it is in real life. So it was with Braeburn’s Ascension.
Sadly, this means that I don’t have a whole lot of information to share about what would have happened—at least in terms of interesting conversations or jokes. I’ve just got your general bullet points.
After Braeburn barely survives the carnival, with Blueblood in tow, they seek quieter berth in the kitchens, where Pinkie strikes up a conversation with them. Through this, Braeburn and Pinkie gradually begin to see that they rather enjoy each other’s company. This leads to Blueblood, all in a huff, declaring that they should have dinner.
Meanwhile, Rarity is actively pursuing Cheese Sandwich for the purpose of setting him up with Pinkie. Rainbow Dash is her reluctant partner in crime, and never seems to be able to break away long enough to speak with Big Mac. There’s lots of irony about the matchmaker missing the obvious match, and even more in her constant attempts to gain the attention of (and later ensnare) Cheese.
Eventually, Rarity manages to drag Cheese bodily to the kitchens. She is quite manic as she declares to Pinkie that she has found her true love. Pinkie misinterprets, casually mentioning that she’s only planned on a dinner date with Braeburn. Everybody trots away chatting congenially as Rarity screams into a nearby bag of flour.
Rainbow only hesitates a moment before she speeds off, only to find that Luna is in attendance and has stolen Big Mac’s attention. The rest of the fic depicts a low-key war between the two in a battle for his heart, eventually culminating in a three-way dance off.
SUDDEN TIME SKIP!
Pinkie and Braeburn’s relationship deepens, to the point where she wants to introduce him to the family. Now, at this moment in the show, only Maud Pie has been fleshed out in any sort of form. So naturally, the rest of the Pies are a bit different from their eventual canon counterparts. To quote Pinkie in another of my stories:
Pinkie stared at the ground. “Y-you’re right. I don’t know much about the world.” She looked at Rarity. “But… I know a thing or two about rocks. The world is kinda like one big rock, right?”
She shuffled from side to side. “My family’s kinda like rocks. Maud, she’s pretty cold. She doesn’t really smile or anything. But she’s not hard, she’s soft.” She licked her lips. “She always tries to show that she really does love me. And she plays with me, and she makes rock candy with me…”
She let out a small laugh. “My dad… he’s hard. Stubborn, no-nonsense, a little strict.” She shrugged, a lopsided smile tugging at her mouth. “But he’s not cold, he’s warm. I can see his eyes sparkle when he smiles. He always laughs with me, and listens to my jokes, and sneaks me goodies.”
She smiled a smile that was not quite happy, but joyful. “Even my family, my family of rock farmers, who spend all their time around rocks, aren’t like rocks.” She chuckled. “Just because we live on a big rock, doesn’t mean we have to be cold and hard, too.”
To my surprise, it’s not too far off from what we eventually see. The comedy in this section derives from Braeburn’s paradigm shift between how he sees Pinkie and what her upbringing was like. It’s the classic wild family/quiet family conundrum.
And that’s where we find out that the story has a “villain.” Pinkie Pie’s aunt, Rose Quartz, has long sought after alicornhood, but never quite got there. Now that the ascension craze is at its all-time high, she’d even more desperate for a good set of wings and a horn.
You see her briefly, inconsequentially appear in chapter one as one of the travelers Braeburn saves from the Tatzelwurm.
She is to be revealed as the evil enchantress that kidnapped Redheart back in the day, though the nature of the kidnapping would be downplayed to better match the tone of the story.
She kidnaps Braeburn and plans to do something to ascertain the source of his power. Eventually, it requires Pinkie Pie to gather a whole host of ascended extras—alicorns and otherwise—to track down and find her boyfriend. Unfortunately, whatever Rose Quartz’s crystal-based magic makes things difficult as the caverns come alive with quartz golems not dissimilar to Blueblood’s.
Blueblood once again regrets his life-choices prior to that point, and makes plans to outlaw robots of all sorts.
Rose Quartz finally ascends, but is subsequently defeated and imprisoned alongside Dark Shadow Lightning. Pinkie and Braeburn declare their love for each other. Blueblood throws a party. Luna and Rainbow have their dance-off/rap battle, Cheese and Maud start dating, and everybody lives happily ever after.
The end.
I think the story would be wonderful if written. Silly and nutty and all sorts of MLP goodness slathered with a heaping helping of “the most fanficcy fanfic on the site.” But if the author is unable to produce the fiction, the fiction will not be produced.
The side-characters have much more interesting stories than our own protagonists. The humor is subjective and hard to come by these days. My time is eaten up and spit back out in a crumpled mess. I haven’t the motivation or drive to complete it. And that makes me sad.
Cancelling the story was about finding inner peace, not for disliking the story itself. If only I’d started it sooner in my career. If only I’d kept myself to just this story and not bounced to others. If only certain things hadn’t affected my life.
But that’s history.
I’m so glad to have written this series. I’m so glad others have found enjoyment out of it. Even to this day, there’s the occasional favorite, upvote, or rare comment in the first story. I wish it could have ended on more of a high note, but at least what’s there lends itself to a mostly complete story.
Thank you for taking a moment to reflect with me, and I hope you, too, can find some closure.
I don’t want to end this blog post on a downer, so I’ll ask a question: did you guys have a favorite moment from the Ascension Trilogy (and subsequent side-stories)? Mine is probably the entirety of Sombra’s side-story, especially Peachbottom’s “rivalry” with Rarity.
“Hot Diggety! I got me a maaaaaaan!!!”
I know I would have loved this story, but at the end of the day it was more of a side story, you did finish the true trilogy of Blueblood's Ascension.
I was already planning to write this before you asked the question, so I'll say my favorite scene was in the second story, when Alma watched MLP with Blueblood, and wouldn't stop kicking him in the shins until he promised a better apology to Rarity. So cute!
I couldn't pick a single scene, but I still go and reread this fic and smile. I know it'll never be finished, but that is there still makes me happy.
That would have been a fun story.
This sounds incredibly funny. Of course, tomorrow's an episode that I suspect will make this non-canon, but still, hilarious.