Story Teaser - The Knight of Harmony · 10:11pm Mar 6th, 2018
Hey everyone. I just wanted to drop a spot of writing, for a story that I've been working on for the past few months.
It's a crossover with the Star Wars universe, involving a Jedi apprentice, Shou Freyor, who is stranded in Equestria after a space battle gone awry.
I really hope to do both franchises justice, and hope that this scene here (which, btw, takes place in early Season Two of FiM) provides some interest or anticipation for the rest of the actual story.
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The forest slowly opened into a clearing. Relieved, Shou jogged the rest of the way out of the woods, happy to feel the warmth of the summer sun on his face.
Now that he was out in the open, he could see a dirt path leading from the woods, to a small village ahead.
“Hmm…” Shou frowned, remembering his previous encounters with some of the “ponies” of this world. None of them had ever seen a human before, and many had reacted rather… poorly, to the sight of him on first encounter.
(The Padawan’s ribs still ached at the memory of one such occasion.)
He was not feeling optimistic about the chances of a different reception from this town.
Shou sighed. Then he took a deep breath, and let it out.
I must not be afraid. He reminded himself. Master Khel would not give up in this situation, and neither should I.
Slowly, the Jedi started down the path towards the village.
As he approached the town, Shou pulled his hood up, to shade his eyes from the glare of the afternoon light.
****
It was a bright and beautiful Tuesday afternoon in Ponyville. The sky was a clear blue and the sun shone brightly. It was hot out, but not unpleasantly so; the kind of warm weather that was perfect for enjoying an ice cream with a friend, or relaxing under the shade of a tree.
Many of the ponies of the town were out taking advantage of the gorgeous weather; foals and fillies ran and played, while adults sat and read, or took to the marketplace for some shopping and small talk.
In short, the scene was one of perfect calmness and tranquility.
Unfortunately, that serenity would soon be shattered.
****
For once, the three fillies known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders were not engaged in a search for their special talents. Instead, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were content to play a game of good old-fashioned tag. Scootaloo was currently “it” and in the process of chasing after Apple Bloom.
The farm filly let out a merry little giggle as she sprinted along, feeling the adrenaline pumping.
“I’m gonna get ya!” Scootaloo called after her, wings buzzing as she began to close the distance.
Apple Bloom doubled her efforts, and galloped as fast as her legs could carry her. She turned her head back to see that Scootaloo was falling back-
Wait. Why was she looking startled?
“Apple Bloom, look out!” Sweetie Belle shrieked in alarm.
“Huh?”
Too late, Apple Bloom turned back around in time to see something large and brown right in her path.
*THUD*
And Apple Bloom crashed into a very solid pair of legs. For a second she remained almost plastered to them, before falling off and onto her back.
“Ow… my head,” the yellow little pony whimpered, massaging her scalp with a hoof. “What in Ponyville was-“
“Are you all right, little pony?” a soft male voice asked from above.
“Yeah, I think so. Thanks, mister—”
As she looked up, the rest of Apple Bloom’s sentence trailed off into nothing. “Uh – uh…” the filly squeaked, her eyes growing wider and wider, as she took in the sight before her. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who had rushed up to their friend, gaped in astonishment too.
The figure before them was easily twice as tall as a normal pony, maybe even as tall as Princess Celestia.
And he stood on two legs, like Spike did, except that Spike was a little dragon and this… whatever it was… was clearly a grown-up.
He was wearing clothes; lots more than any of the Crusaders had ever thought a pony could wear: a tan tunic and pants, brown boots and belt, and a long brown robe with a hood over his face.
And what they could see of his face, had no fur or scales or anything; just smooth, hairless skin, with a little bump for a muzzle and eyes that were positively tiny compared to those of a pony.
The hooded creature stared down at the CMC, and the three little ponies stared back.
Finally, someone spoke.
“Eh, hello?” the hooded creature said, cautiously. “Please, don’t be afraid. I don’t want any trouble. I am lost, and looking for directions.”
He held up a – well, it wasn’t a hoof, that was something the Crusaders knew for sure. It was kind of like Spike’s claws, but they were longer, slender and blunt at the tip. They almost reminded Apple Bloom of spider’s legs.
(“Eep,” Sweetie Belle squeaked, eyes huge at the sight of the bizarre, angular appendages.)
Raising both of his upper limbs, the creature put both sets of spidery limbs to his hood, and pulled it back, revealing his face, and short-cut brown mane. A long thin braid hung by one of his ears.
Slowly, carefully, he smiled at the three little fillies.
“My name is Shou,” he began—
“Shoe?” Scootaloo gaped. “Your name is Shoe?”
The orange pegasus filly clapped her hooves to her mouth, but a snicker still made itself heard. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle tried to look innocent and not amused, and rather failed at that.
“…Yes,” Shou answered. “That’s my name. What?”
“We’re sorry, mister Shoe,” Sweetie Belle smiled, nervous and apologetic. “Buuuuut…”
“It just sounds kinda funny,” Apple Bloom finished.
“Funny?”
“Uh, well,” the farm pony scratched the back of her head, “It’s just – yer a big, hood-wearing, two-legged fella that nopony’s ever seen before.” With a sheepish little grin, Apple Bloom said, “It’s just a teeny bit strange, that yer name is Shoe, that’s all.”
Shou frowned, but not severely. At least these fillies were nicer about his name than that pink crown-wearing one had been. “You ponies have names that are strange to me, you know,” he stated evenly.
“But anyway, can you help me?” the Jedi apprentice asked, “Perhaps, tell me where somebody—eh, pony-- can give me directions to whoever is in charge here?”
The CMC all exchanged glances. Almost in unison, the same thought came to them.
Yes, they would help this lost stranger. And maybe in doing so, they might get their cutie marks? Admittedly, nopony had ever gotten a “helping lost giants” cutie mark before, but the Crusaders firmly believed that there was a first time for everything.
“Right this way, Mister Shoe!” Apple Bloom piped up eagerly, setting off at a brisk walk for the center of town.
“Yeah, we’ll help you!” Scootaloo added, galloping after her.
“Everything will be just fine!” Sweetie Belle called proudly, as she brought up the rear of the trio.
(“I have a very bad feeling about this…” Shou said to himself, even as he followed them.)
This looks like a very interesting beginning.
4811423
Oh, thank you! I worked really hard to make it just right for introducing the character, and his first interaction with Ponyville
This was actually the very first scene of the idea that I wrote. I had already filled up several pages of notebook with ideas for characters, scenes, but instead of some spaceship fight or epic duel I chose to write a curious first encounter between the CMC and the young Jedi XD
Looks good for me.
4813925
Thank you, I appreciate that. ^_^
Looks like it could be a good story. I take it this is just like a rough draft? Or pitch?
4814055
Thanks! Glad you think it looks good.
Yeah, this is kind of a "trailer" scene, but basically something I genuinely did picture to happen, when the character arrives in Ponyville. ^_^
Okay, this is looking really good!
4814518
Thank you!
I'm glad I chose this piece as an introduction to the story. I did think about putting up something with more action, but the idea of Shou's arrival in Ponyville (and his introduction to the CMC) felt like a nicer, more enjoyable way of presenting the character and the world he's found himself in. ^_^