chapter.2 of the monster of white oak woods · 3:58pm Feb 19th, 2018
so far we have this
The light of day became one with the darkness of deep within the white oak tree as the prison sank deeper and deeper into the wood. Jared and Thief lay there unmoving, trapped with the crystal of their prison. For Jared it was only a cliche of sorts, the real Jason no matter how high the body count was in the movies or how he was beaten by his prey, they could never kill him. They only could trap him. Jared should've had the foresight to avoid such fates since he knew the movies by heart yet, in the end, it matters not, Jason was still alive... he was still alive, it was only a manner of time before some idiot freed him... just like all of the movies and stories (including his own fan fiction) however it does occur to him that he had his pet to take into account and just how in the blazes he was going to pass the time!
"Well shit," he swore, " Thief do you have any ideas?"
"I am a little pretty butterfly! Baka Baka the weeaboo! Onii-chan!!" went the crazed raccoon still riling from her heroic battle with Luna the breaker of jars. " Onii-chan! pinned me down and pound me! let's all sing the onii-chan song!"
"Onii-chan!?!" shirked Jared with dread shining from deep with him "Curse you Anime!"
“Onii-chan! Onii-chan!”
Jared acting quickly knocked his beloved pet out before her insanity turned her into a complete weeaboo, “Weird perverted Japaneses freaks! why I ever let Thief watch all those anime! Now, I know where those hentai wannabes came from!”
Leaning back in his cell Jared petted his beloved raccoon, the darkness was overbearing, all he could see was thief and himself. All he could do now was think or at least until Thief fully recovers her sanity but then an thought came to him, “how in the world she did got those dvds?”
No answer came to him and slowly he closed his eyes, setting his mind on other things such as mentally playing Ark with his roiling playing tribe before they spawn on a whole pack of Rexs and alpha raptors.. sometimes that game just isn't fair. When he opened his eyes, he had no idea at just how long he slept. Thief, it seems had fallen asleep...
"Thief... where did you get Goku's hair?" he asked with his eye twitching at the little raccoon's blond wig or at least he hoped it was a wig, he still had nightmares about the raccoon from the guardians of the galaxy breaking into his house and taking Thief away from him and leave behind a whole litter of little talking raccoon pups. Given what happened to them and Loki, he wasn't sure if that was a dream.
With that scary thought in mind, Jared again closed his eyes yet this time to sleep. With what felt like only moments, he awoke and found that Thief was staring at him with big sad eyes "Jared, I'm bored."
"Well... I-
"No J, I'm a married raccoon. Go find some other girl to date."
"What??" went Jared before passing out, thinking his worst nightmare had come true, dammed gun-wielding space rats, that and he actually develop a phobia for dating, thanks to his last girlfriend who had a thing for Generation 3 and 3.5 of my little pony, and of course she a trunk full of bad fanfiction she wanted him to read aloud... to his mother and all of it was clop. Kill a boner, turn a straight man gay bad clop.
Three Weeks Later or so it seems
"I'm hungry" whined Thief with big sad raccoon eyes, their time encased in their prison had taken its toll on the poor thing, she had found comfort in madness and Jared wasn't that far away from joining her on the isle of madness.
"Mama? why you no love me? where is my love on the lonely nights! there's a jar of peanut butter in my pant-
Crunch
"OWHHHHHHH, Thief! my ass is not a chew toy!" Yells Jared yanking his ass out of the raccoon's maw, his finger feeling the newly made holes in both his cheeks and pants before pulling back, seeing the blood dancing on his finger.
"But it's so tasty" whined Thief before licking her lips, "can I have some more?"
"No." said Jared quickly before running away or at least he thought he was running, he could be verily well running in place. Their imprisonment was indeed a cruel thing, it seems so long ago that he and Thief were free in the woods that and he missed eating. He knew or at least he thought he knew that only mere weeks had passed and that his stores may have rotten by now. Somehow he knew he didn't need to fear to stave to death, he would just come back anyways plus he never heard of Jason dying from starvation, and Thief needn't worry either because... well magic he guessed.
"jay, come on man just a bite!"
"NOOPPPPEEE"
The next time Jared felt his eyes open, he found his pet sleeping on his head that and he couldn't move his arms. Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, he allows his mind to wander recalling the blue horse person Luna and their fight, thinking how it could've played differently yet it seemed at least to him it all leads to the same fate and given that he was to kill others in order to live.. animals could only sustain him only for so long he knew that, and that he would've to kill someone sooner or later. However, still, this fate was worse than hell itself or rather since Loki was real wouldn't that mean his daughter Hel and his two monstrous beasts of sons real as well?
"Please Odin, Thor you crossdresser, hell hel...I just want this be over? "Please!"
Suddenly Jared yelps and cradles his poor head.. it felt like somebody just tried to cave his skull in.. with a hammer...
"Oi who you calling a crossdresser!" Yells a voice before another flash of pain took Jared. And another and another.
After a few moments of holding his head, the pain abruptly stops and then he hears a voice on the wind, this one he assumes to not be Thor the crossdresser he was but instead he heard on feminine voice.
"Hey everypony, I think I see something!"
"Wait...what was that?" Jared said disbelieving that the voice even existed at first, thinking it was just his poor head playing tricks on him till he heard her again, then he thanked Odin, Thor, and Hel as well for their kindness. He gets hit in the head again for his troubles.
"Yeah I do see something." said another voice this one was raspy yet till held feminine tones.
"Do you hear that J?" said Thief her voice filled with disbelief, while her little raccoon eyes shined in the darkness of their prison with the hint of tears. "W-"
"Shh..." shushed Jared placing a finger to his beloved pet's lips, "kept quiet," he whispers " If we are freed then we verily well might in danger, who knows just how long we lingered in here... Luna and her sister could be out there.."
The little raccoon hisses softy at the mention of the jar breaker and her sister, however, she knew that Jared could be right. They could be out there just waiting to put them on the ice again. She then silently fumed about getting her revenge on the jar breaker for destroying she last memory of home her beloved jar.
"Holy Celestia we are going to rich!" yells another, "Quick help me dig!"
In their prison, the sounds of freedom played sweetly to Jared and Thief, bit by bit light invaded gloom of darkness that was their whole world. They could the ravages that time gifted them with, Thief was now a solid white raccoon with one single streak gray on the tip of her tail and Jared's clothes had long rotted away yet he and more importantly, his machete was oddly untouched. From the light of unforced shades of colors that were the outside he counted three people excitedly digging away at the dirt surrounding the crystal grave and in the light of the sun, the magic was hissing at it was burned away...
A flash blinded them all, causing them fall to the ground cradling their eyes in pain and fresh air greedily entered Jared and his pet. Once the flash faded away Jared stood and found that he was looming over three horse people, all of them were of course female.. females that look like they belong in one of the real Jason's movies, camping outfits and all. At the sight of him the three females screamed their little lungs out and scrambled in three directions, the first like a headless chicken ran in Jared's direction almost tackling him and when she realized exactly where she was going or rather why it felt like she was running in place, Her eyes slowly met Jared's masked misshapen face. She then screamed once more and collapses in a heart attack with a little white flower in her hands. Jared and Thief simply shook their heads and went to see to the other two and what became of their house, after walking for some time in the diction they remembered, they found that the second one had somehow felled into a pit that also happens to serve as a snake's nest. The little newborn snakes hissed happily as they snuggled with the still warm dead body.
When they did find the rotten remains of their house, they also found the last of the three... she seems to had tried over a rock and broke her neck dying where she laid. "Well, looks like you still have it J." commented Thief before she kicks the dead body and shook her head with a sigh "now what?"
“I guess we’ll just start over…” said Jared scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “ I guess that we should get burying them..”
“We always could strip them of their clothes and go crazy with them.. Or we could just eat them.” Thief with a completely straight face.
“What the hells wrong with you..” said Jared green at the gills. “That definitely wasn’t in the movies.”
“Just went a little crazy in the pen back there you know plus I’m hungry.”, “Besides since when anything in this world went to the movies. You’ll really need to work on the killer thing."
“Jason never ate his victims or did he did the nasty with them… that’s out of character.”
“J, since when we were in character? Plus I thought that they were making the bride of Jason movie and pitting them against the freaks from the wrong turn movies.”
“Disfigured cannibalic hillbillies are one thing and Jason is another.”
“They had IT in it as well~”
“....Okay, that’s cool.”
"Of course it is, it’s IT after all”
“We still not eating them Thief.”
“Aw, you... Do you hear that?” said the raccoon her little ears picking up a peculiar sound, the whistling of something falling.
“Yeah” went Jared, shifting his gaze about his old home. He could hear the whistling yet he couldn’t tell where it is coming from. Suddenly he found himself being crushed by a weight he knew.. The weight of a body. All he come see was black fur and a familiar scent graced his nose, he knew he smelt it before yet he couldn’t remember from where exactly. His hands roamed over the body trying to lift it up off him yet he felt something odd, something soft so very soft and a feminine moan breathlessly licked his ear... He knew that moan and what exactly what he was touching. ‘Oh shit’ went his mind, reminding what happen last time yet the black fur did throw him off in ways
“Mhhm sister... No.. I’m still sore from last night~”, “Go play with the guards.”
That wasn’t Luna,’ Jared’s mind went as he felt his face go pale, yet his hands didn’t stop their roaming, finding more of the clearly feminine body crushing him. Thief, the little raccoon did nothing to help him outside of laughing impishly yet also knowingly.
He felt her hands on his, in their roaming. She calls him Celestia twice more times before turning her head towards his masked one. Catlike cyan stared into misshapen green, ages pasted as the eyes stared at each other before she's widening. An unearthly screech erupted in his ears and the weight of her body was lifted, revealing the nude black furred Lunaish pony yet he couldn’t enjoy the state of her body. All he knew that he weightless before he hit the ground again and realized that his body was still standing despite the lack of his head.
“Did you just... You did.. You chopped my head off.” said Jared, feeling nothing but the grass at his throat, Thief gave impish giggles at Jared’s fate. The headless body’s hand felled to the ground, the hands blindly searched for its missing head.
The ‘not Luna’ gave a terrible scream at seeing Jared’s still talking decapitated head, her hands struggling to cover her womanly charms, “By the night! Where're my clothes!” she cries, her head whipping her head back and forth seeking for anything of use.
“Body! Over here!” cried Jared trying to get back to his body, only for the not Luna to scream again before passing out again.
“Hey Jay want some help with that?” giggled Thief.
“What you think?” deadpanned the misshapen head. Watching his body get bite by a snake which then was crushed a massive foot as it searches the ground for its head. The body then moved towards the passed out woman and started to poke at her side.
“Don’t get aheadof yourself.” said Thief crackling with laughter or rather squeaks since she was still a raccoon.
“Ha ha fuck you too Thief.” said Jared as he felt little raccoon paws picking him up “Careful! Don’t squeeze my head so much!”, “I rather not have my brain oozing out of my nose!”
“So… what are we gonna do with her?” asked Thief once she set the head back on its body and sewed him together, using her tail fur as a string. “This might be your only chance to sample her fruits of Eros.”
“....Jason never did that in the movies.” went Jared while working out the kinks in his neck.
“nor he goes this long without killing teenage screamqueenz.” winked the little raccoon.
“Touche, but screamqueenz? The 80’s are over.”
“Says the king of the 80’s slasher films…”
“...I walked straight into that one didn’t I.” groaned Jared
“Eyup.”
“okay let’s stripe those girls from earlier and dressed this one before she wakes up and cuts my head off again
“Pervert~” sanged Thief, “striping dead girls… you must be really desperate for love.”
“But.. but it was your idea!”
“Yeah, but I’m a girl. You get the blame while I get the honey.”, “Anime logic Jay!”
“Fuck you.”
“Love you too J, now get to work.” went the crazed raccoon before disappearing into the rotten corpse that was once their house. Jared shooked his head and starting striping the first of the dead horse girls while hearing the not Luna complain about her sister in her sleep… Never before he blushed so hard as the not Luna began to describe what exactly happens in the royal bedchambers after dark. Then an acorn hits him in the small part of his eye and he immediately started cruising at the sky, hoping that Loki could hear him… only to get hit in the arse by a crowbar.
YAY
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