How to write Flash Sentry! · 2:46am Feb 10th, 2018
"Oh Tumbleweed!" you cry.
"You are obviously a dashing and talented gentleman, but please, tell the whole twelve people who actually read The Flash Sentry Papers, how do you write Flash Sentry?"
WELL LET ME TELL YOU.
Step 1: Drink drinks. But, like, classy fancy drinks. Or at least cheap drinks masquerading as fancy drinks. Box wine (red, of course), is a good start. As are halfway decent scotches or brandies.
Step 2: Watch this:
Seriously the Police Sargent is even making eyes at the one lady with the frizzy hair who is OBVIOUSLY Special Agent Golden Harvest, just in, uh, Gilbert & Sullivan form. Were I a better writer than I am, I'd find a way to work a musical number into the Flash Sentry Papers. But I am decidedly not a better writer, and as such it's stupidly hard to work musical numbers into prose. Though to be honest the penchant of the TV show to break into song is obviously anachronistic (especially given the modern pop-stylings of several numbers), only added for a broader audience appeal and ... oh dear I'm doing that thing where my head goes up my own bum again. That's the problem with presuming all narrators are unreliable, I guess.
Sidenote: The Pirates of Penzance actually has a special place in my heart, as I worked tech on a production of it in high school, many (many) years ago. Because who doesn't love pirates, hm? Not to mention this was well before the Pirates of the Carribean movies were a thing (truly, I am wizened and old), so you didn't have to worry about awful Johnny Depp impersonations.
Anyway! I'm in an odd spot, in that I COULD have gone out to see a show tonight ... but it was a long-ass day at work, and the show I was vaguely thinking of seeing was a band I like playing a venue I hate, so ... that kind of evened out. Though I also have to work tomorrow, so at least I've got an excuse there. Though really it comes down to me getting older and being boring now or ... something.
Which is why I'm posting silly things on FiMfiction. Hope someone's enjoying it!
Oh, and another sidenote: Horizon has done a Terry Pratchett pastiche, which I haven't read yet but I can confidently say it has ruined any chance of me winning Aragon's comedy contest. But hey, worse things could happen, right?
I would contend that Equestria shows signs of a surprisingly modern music industry, given Sapphire Shores and Coloratura.
In any case, fantastic demonstration of quintessential Flashness.
Disturbingly this is very believable... her words of 'encouragement' even fit well enough to be one of her 'motivational' speeches to Flash.
Now your dirty little secret is out.... the Flash Sentry Papers are born from a mating of inebriation and G&S!
I always favour the band over the venue so I would probably have still gone, I have seen some of my favourite bands in some of the overdressed venues and some of the horrible themed pubs in the less salubrious suburbs... what makes you detest that particular venue so much?
4793728
G&T meets G&S?
Saw Pirates and thumbnail and thought it would be With Cat-like Tread. That's more of the ethos that comes to mind.
4793728
Oh, it's one of those places that's too upscale, too sanitized. Not to mention pricey-- like, 10 bucks for a tallboy of PBR. Boooo.
4794225
Ah, yes, the overdressed, overdone and characterless venue... a bit of an anathema to any good muso . I usually just go and drink water, sometimes even take my own just to annoy them even more (not a breach of BYO liquor rules), and then we head off to a real pub to talk about how good or bad the show was. (Heh, had to google to work out what PBR probably was, here it'd be a complaint that a schooner of Carlton cost $10). Years of usually being the DD has inured me to having to refrain and takes the sting out of not enjoying a beer or two while watching.
Hope your band is playing somewhere better next time and you get to go.