• Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen July 18th


Our minds bend and our fingers fold. Entwined, we dream . . . I know.

More Blog Posts32

  • 122 weeks

    I feel like I've done enough here to justify the term 'resign'. I'm not sorry that I have had more pressing responsibilities, but I would be sorry to leave here...even though there's still no way to delete user pages for whatever reason. My ten-year mark as a fan of FiM is coming up in early September, but I don't really care for it at all anymore; the most I'll do is recognize some characters up

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    6 comments · 231 views
  • 151 weeks
    Happy 2021 to all

    I wish you all the best! I'm just checking back in to report that I've been finding more and more time to write again, because, well, I quit my job again :'D And they're suffering without me once again :D I sacrificed my back, my mind and my sleep for them, and they only briefly appreciated my restless body and work ethic. But I'll be getting the crap out of Alabama soon enough — a couple more

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    9 comments · 181 views
  • 162 weeks
    I can hardly find the time to write anymore...for now?

    I hope it's temporary, anyway. I've been working so many nights, so much, and I'm always so tired on the days that I am lucky enough to have off; I spend those days catching up on my sleep and hardly anything else. Our other night shift guy up and left all of a sudden, so I'm going to be working seven nights a week again. Yes, that's right, I've been doing that before for about three weeks

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    1 comments · 139 views
  • 175 weeks
    I forgot to mention...

    Ask, rather. Does anyone happen to be looking for a roommate anywhere? I'm going to need help with that myself soo, too. I don't know how much longer I have here, but any response would be appreciated, regardless

    3 comments · 141 views

I love you · 1:22am Jan 24th, 2018

I can't truly hate, I know that. I can only love, even if I feel drained of it. I can't stop loving and I don't want to stop loving. It keeps me here; hatred also will, but I would be even more miserable. I'm struggling to improve myself, but the desire is there — I want to live longer than I anticipated I would, years ago. I want to love. It gives me hope in some strange way. I can't understand, but I can only believe. And I want you to know that whoever you are, whatever you are, I love you.

I said that last time, and I still mean it. I feel like I want to start over again, goodness knows I need to — I know I need to, and I've known this for such a long time. I spent the past two or three hours, while mildly distracted, deleting every single blog post I've made in my nearly six years on this site. I figured if I wanted to start over with a clean slate, so to speak, I'd need to do that, and there were ones I wanted to keep, as I remembered the emotion I poured into a lot of them, but years ago, they held a context that doesn't apply anymore. Not fully, anyway. I'm still a messed up guy with messed up expectations and messed up mental health, but I still have hope for humanity.

You can befriend anyone as long as you give them your heart, partitioned or not. You can show anyone that there is goodness in the world and in the hearts of mankind. But for me . . . it's like I've conditioned myself to, after these years full of those emotional pleas crying out for your help, push through with mindless optimism in attempts to make friends that I can hold dear to my heart and give me hope toward another day where I can be confident and happy to be alive. It feels like a disease to do this, and I know I can't possibly live a healthy life like this, but it's still so hard to re-condition myself to find solace in my own being, on my own, you know?

But I still want you guys to be my friends. I've been coming here a lot more often to do a little bit of work on 'Hexagons', as it's my only creation here that I treasure. It hits home for me, with the implication of an afterlife, pleasant or not, discovering the fate of loved ones that you left behind and not being able to do anything about it except cry, except you can't even do that. You just have to watch it all. But anyway, it resonates with me so well, and I'll finish it. And I still want to be who I wanted to be years ago as well; someone you could rely on as well, and vent to, and feel comfortable around. I know I've lost hold of that promise over time, but haven't gone soft and changed my ways: I, in fact, wish to improve them, hence this lengthy post. I'll be here often enough now to keep up with you.

How are you guys doing?

Report Wand3r3r3 · 263 views ·
Comments ( 13 )

great hope you have a awesome year

Best of luck, my friend. I'll be around.

I hate. My heart is as stone. My hate keeps me warm at night when the winds blow cold. My hate never hurts me. My hate never lies to me. My hate has never broken my heart. Love has.............

4780442 But why do you feel so much of it? D:

4780439 Awesome! As always, I hope you're doing well, too ^.^

4780428 To you as well. It really feels like the same resolve I wanted to have in 2015

Good to hear from you again! You'll get the hang of it, and if you need someone to talk to or advice on this kind of thing, you know where to find me! :twilightsmile:

I’m doing alright. This year hasn’t been nice so far

I'm good. *hugs* Good to see you again friend

4780781 Why not? Wanna bring it up? D:

4780550 Yeah, I do ^.^ Thanks for being a great friend to me

4780785 Likewise for you~

I got bone cancer at the start of January

4781002 Oh my gosh D: That really isn't good... Can you fight it at all?

I can.... I just need to get through radiation therapy

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