I'm triggered. · 10:23pm Oct 5th, 2017

Have you ever had one of those days where all you want to do is consume one of your guilty pleasures while enjoying a good movie, book, or game? You walk up to a vending machine with money in hand, readying to purchase some very overpriced pop or chocolate. (Like seriously! 1:75 for a can of Coke! I can buy 12 for 4 dollars! 4!) You reach the machine, put in your money and then with great melodramatic anticipation, you press the button of your choice.

Then you wait...

Then you wait some more...

You press the button again and still, nothing happens.

Your eyes go wide in horror as the sudden realization that your money is stuck in the machine. You dry the return coin button and nothing happens. It's the worse day of your life. You look do into the coin slot and see your coins, as well as several others, mushed together, preventing each other from descending into the machine of want.

If only you had a pair of tweezers, then you can recollect your bounty and try again later, but low and behold!

You don't have tweezers.

It's the worse day of your life NOT cause' you didn't get your candy! Oh, no! It's the worse cause this machine decided to steal from you! Your minute little change that was dug up from years of neglect from your couch! You worked hard for that change and to have a... a MACHINE! Take it from you is just the. WORST. THING. EVER!

So you grab a nearby stick, wack the vending machine, and it eats you.

You think it's the end, but the vending machine that stole your money has plans for its newest victim. Oh, Yes! That's because it's no ordinary vending machine. It's a Boko No Pico vending machine!

No one can hear your screams as the machine forces you to watch that dreaded show over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until you wake up in Ponyville hospital with nurse Redheart giving you a blowjob to make your boo-boos on your stallion/filly parts feel better.

Only it doesn't feel good. The machine's torture has turned you asexual. You don't feel anything, you can't see whats sexy anymore. You curl up and cry in the corner after telling Nurse Redheart that your libido is gone! GONE YOU SAY! And you stay in the corner until Fallout Equestria happens after the world has gone to shit.

Legends say that there is a Ghoul crying near Ponyville about the can of Sparkle Cola he never got and the machine that stole its sex drive.

The End.

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