)"Daring Do and the Secret of the Fourth Wall" - Seeking advice · 3:38pm May 26th, 2017
EDIT:
Oh, by the way, I'm still looking for some help getting myself unstuck in several scenes in Pinkieviduality. 
Okay, now back to your irregularly unsheduled blog post:
Prematurely seeking advice to speed things up for "Daring Do and the Secret of the Fourth Wall"
Sup!
So, with the new chapter out, I'm already thinking ahead a bit. 
I haven't run into a wall yet, but I guess asking for advice can only speed things up.
...Well, in relative terms, anyway. I'm still horribly slow. 
And with chapter 11 out, I can finally ask people without it being all that spoilery.
(Don't read on if you haven't read chapter 11, released May 21st, 2017, yet!)
Otherwise? Not really much of a spoiler, it's pretty obvious.
So obviously, Daring Do and Ahuizotl meet eventually. Oh noes, spoilerz! :O
I want to write a good back-and-forth between Ahuizotl and Daring Do that references as many of their previous encounters as possible, without it seeming forced, or too much of "just listing things off".
It doesn't actually have to be a complete dialogue, since there'll be other stuff happening simultanously, and I'll be cutting "back and forth" between the two events.
I came up with a list of made-up old adventures, artifacts, and some circumstances under which the two crossed paths;
Yet my current draft really just feels like it's a bullet point list. It doesn't "flow" naturally.
Just for reference, in case it helps, here's some draft-stuff I came up with which I may or may not use for that scene.
- “It's just like the time in the Mareidian Sea, when you tried stealing the sea-ponies' trident from me.”
- “You tried to steal the Ceremonial Scepter from the Grave of Chimalxochitl, even when its spirit-powers were useless to you – you did it just to get money for your next conquest... Hah, those spirits sure showed you!”
- "You stole Dream Gate Key to take control of the dream realm, and conquer the world practically in your sleep! But your fire-panthers and snake-raining clouds were not enough to stop me! Hah!"
- "The Temple of Ziztopek", where Daring Do had a temporary out-of-body experience and a brief glimpse at the astral plane.
- Ahuizotl trying to free the Ice-Dragon-King from his prison to use his powers for himself, but it backfired. Daring had to team up with a young dragon to seal the prisoner again.
- Caballeron, having been hired by Ahuizotl, trying to use the "Book of Eternal Slumber" for himself to commit petty theft.
- Both Daring and Ahuitozl seeking to find a powerful wish-granting lamp hidden inside a ever-shifting pyramid filled with illusions, also known as "the Labyrinth of Lies".
Those are basically building blocks, and if I can put them - or something else, this is just draft-stuff, after all - together in the right way, it'll make for good reading. ^_^
Any suggestions for writing good banter that covers as many mentions of previous adventures and artifacts as possible, without feeling forced? 
EDIT 2: At the moment, I'm also trying (and failing to) coming up with Ahuizotl saying something back in response to Daring; it wouldn't make much sense for him to just let her keep recounting his losses. He's gotta have something to say back in return.
No ideas at the moment, but good luck.
Well, if they're casually discussing how Rainbow knows so much (in a "well, prove it!" kind of way), you could certainly splurge some points there. Otherwise if Rainbow's going to constantly make references like that one annoying stallion, it would get old quick... It might be somewhat better to have her hint that she knows, but not directly say it like "remember in yadda book, you did that" but more like, "you did this before with blah".
4552224
Well, it's actually not about discussing Rainbow Dash at all;
I was more hoping for some witty banter between the two, with references to Daring's previous adventures.
At the moment I'm actually trying to think of things Ahuizotl could say in return if Daring says something like "hah! That look on your face, when the ice-scepter melted in your hands! Priceless!"
There's... also some spoilery bits I could reveal to give a better understanding of what the scene's about, but I dunno how you feel about spoilers.
4596003
Spoilers merely alter our plot projections. We enjoy it regardless.
4596132
Does that mean you're okay with me giving you spoilers and maybe try to help me figure out how to better write this scene?
4596496
Hahaha sure!
4596617
Gah! Sorry for never getting back to you, most likely I was too busy with work at the time and your reply sort of slipped my mind.
The problem still persists, I was just about to write a blog post to ask people for help again --- then I noticed you already offered to help.
Are you still up for it?
4671022
Yeah, I'm good for it. We don't have a ton of time ourself, but it can be done.