Offensive Jokes- MRA · 4:14pm Apr 7th, 2017
So I guess something has been bugging me for a while, having to do with double standards. Ya know, like how telling a rape joke involving a woman gets you all kinds of negative attention, but telling a “don’t drop the soap” joke (ie, a prison rape joke) not only flies fifty miles under the radar, but gets positive press and any attacks are defended against, sometimes by the same people wanting to “defend rape victims” earlier.
So SciWriter (Fimfic username for Mod) how do you feel about jokes about serious men’s issues? Well first off, I guess we should go over what a few of the more famous ones are.
“Don’t drop the soap”- This is a joke referring to the ridiculous numbers of male rape victims in prisons throughout the western world. The number of these is so high, it is estimated that male rape victims in the US and other western countries actually outnumber female victims by a small margin. Not only that, but most victims in prison are very unlikely to get justice, and a large percentage of the time, their rapists are guards, meaning it is someone with authority over them. Prison violence and rape are criminally under reported and this is likely the case, even when incidents ARE reported, at least by victims, because of corrupt systems. Through my military career I met several former inmates and pretty much every single one either was a victim of violence or knew SEVERAL people who were. A number of them actually took direct offense to jokes like that one.
“lucky bastard” (when referring to an underage male rape victim). Again this is a HUGE problem in the prison system, with a large number of juvenile boys actually being victims of female wardens. However also a large number of boys are raped in schools as well and even when they are under the age of twelve, they have a hard time convincing authorities they didn’t enjoy the experience (something that really shouldn’t even be relevant when dealing with a person who cannot legally consent).
Jokes about men being beaten by women. This is a very common trope in media, a rather famous example being Inuyasha’s constant physical abuse by Kagome, generally as a response to increasingly minute issues. Feminists will often say that in real life abuse towards a man would be responded to faster than abuse to a woman:
I suppose people will respond… if he danes to defend himself.
“You’re sleeping in the dog house now” This refers to when a woman becomes so nasty with a man at night, the only refuge he can have from her is sleeping outside in a tool shed or even dog house. This is actually not funny at all and is a form of serious abuse. Basically, I can think of only three kinds of people who could normally be expected to sleep outside in a tool shed or dog house; prisoners, slaves and, for some reason acceptably, abused husbands.
“you’re sleeping on the couch tonight” Even I thought this one was an okay joke for a while, despite both my mother and father being very upset whenever they heard it. I didn’t wake up to why until I was told point blank that if a man forced his wife to sleep on the couch every night and rarely if ever showed her physical affection of any kind this could actually be legally recognized as “intimate partner neglect”. That is a term often reserved for disabled individuals, but actually yea, some of the guys forced to do this have physical conditions this nightly routine no doubt aggravates as well I’m sure routines like this could cause physical conditions to arise over time (ever felt the back pain after sleeping on a couch? Not fun!)
“Damaged goods” Jokes to this effect referring to the general undesirability of any man who reports a woman for sexual or physical assault, abuse or who attempts to defend himself against a woman. These jokes extend generously to any man who has also been a victim of other men.
How do I feel about jokes like this as a self-proclaimed MRA? Well, from how feminists behave about jokes about women’s issues, you would think I would in turn be seriously upset.
But to show just how much worse men often have things in the western world, despite huge numbers of male victims of abuse (40% or higher of domestic abuse victims) rape (50% or higher of all rape victims) and violent crime (70% or more of all victims of violent crime) issues like these are rarely discussed outside of men’s rights panels. Also, frankly, many feminists would probably just grin to hear about such things, so no, waiting for them to care is like waiting for water to freeze at room temperature. (According to feminists, men’s issues are “being too aggressive” and “not sharing their feelings enough” the fact that legal and social services to help them even if they do calm down or cry aren’t generally readily available, apparently isn’t a big deal. That’s right, when the sign says in black and white “no men allowed” there is apparently no anti-male discrimination going on at all.)
So then, here’s something to consider. Many of you are at least partially aware of men’s issues thanks to these rather sick jokes... so think, just think for a moment. Do you really think you would be aware at all if the jokes didn’t exist? There is a part of me that wants to object to jokes about abuse, rape and violence victims, but, to be honest, if I were to stop them from circulating, I fear the radical feminists would win, and no one would know men even have issues. When a woman beats you and you have no shelter to go to and the only option you have is to escape is to fight a lengthy court battle and be forced to pay your abuser hundreds if not thousands of dollars a month for the rest of your life (ie- alimony)… yea, that’s a serious problem. But far be it from me to make it so no one hears about your problems, even if they only hear about them in jest.
So I guess, this is a round about way of me saying, the rate things are going, I hope folks keep making those jokes. One joke at a time, we can kill the myth of “male privilege”.
I don't like those jokes. Well, the only one I find funny is the "sleeping in the couch", though depens of how is handled.
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I get why. We've all slept on a couch before of our own free will, so it doesn't sound so bad on the surface. But then you get into the nitty gritty and realize, there's a reason the woman never has to sleep on the couch after an argument. Punishing someone for not taking out the trash on time by depriving them of a bed (one which, to add insult to injury, he likely purchased with his own money) and possibly sleep is pretty bad. Sheesh, even parents who believe in spanking with a damn belt will tell you they would never dream of keeping their child from sleep.
To be fair, there are times when I see where a woman is coming from, not wanting to sleep with a man with incredibly poor hygiene or something like that but... why the heck would you marry someone like that in the first place? I mean, if you're not married and just stuck sleeping in the same room, the stinky person gets the floor or couch, that seems fair. However, ladies, no, you're not a victim if your husband smells on a regular basis, you're a bigger idiot than he is for marrying him. You both promised to have and to hold at a wedding that I'd wager he paid for and did so of your own free will. You either knew about the smell, or didn't bother to get the know the guy before you tied the knot. So either get the hell over it, or divorce and don't take alimony. (Yes, I expect that women are adults capable of taking principled stances like NOT using divorce law to take advantage of someone. I believe that much in a woman's abilities. I'm waiting for the feminist who wants to tell me why I'm wrong on that point.)
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I see,