Feb
14th
2017
Stupid Valentines Day · 8:08pm Feb 14th, 2017
Forever Alone
A Valentines Story of Me, Myself, and I...
This Valentines day, I, had an insane crush on Myself, and bought flowers and candy for Myself. But little did I know, that this infuriated Me, who also had a crush on Myself. I, got into an epic battle to the death with Me, for the lovely hand of Myself....It was I, who came out victorious in the end, against all odds... winning the hand of myself....And so, I, rode off into the sunset with Myself...and lived happily ever after...
Ah, Valentine's Day! The day of getting your sweetheart all sorts of goodies!
Like those balloons made of cheap plastic that make a lot of noise and deflate within 24 hours of purchase.
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No? Don't like those? How about those little
heart-shaped candiespieces of chalk that say things like 'I love you' or 'hug me'?blog.kevineikenberry.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/medium_99513156.jpg
Really, though, have you ever eaten these and then been like: "Oh, that hit the spot. (^ o ^)"?
WHAT?! You don't like those either? How about those stale candies you can buy at Walgreens that are wrapped in red and pink?
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NO?! HOW?! Alright, fine! But you can't say no to an empty wallet thanks to all this shit!
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Alright, I can understand that you don't appreciate an empty wallet, but you HAVE to just LOVE that every fucking living being on Earth with a reproduction partner fawns over each other like Rainbow fawns over that one picture of AJ!
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What's that?! It just makes you feel lonelier? Well then move to fucking China! There's shitloads of people there!
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Oh, so now there's too many people?! Here, then move to fucking Tombstone AZ!
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Don't worry, there's people there. You can't see them because they're all hiding from Billy the Kid. Watch your back, dude!