A Recap Of Important Historical Events · 4:06pm Feb 6th, 2017

This will be the upcoming history exam, so make sure that you read over this material and study it closely.

The land down under has a wonderful and majestic history. Australia was settled in galactic year 4456 by the Ladians of the Ladran quadrant exactly 12 million lightyears away from earth. Ladians blended in because they looked more or less like giant kangaroos. It is said that the Ladians still rule over the continent. Of course they have assumed human forms and have blended in with the Australian government officials quite well.

On February 4th 1773, as the records of history tell us, our American pilgrim forefathers fought against giant robotic turkeys who previously ruled over the north American land and won.

These giant robotic turkeys had been sent to America by the British to enslave the colonists and make them do their bidding.

But the days of the giant robotic turkey overlords ruling over us with their iron claws of malice was soon to come to an end. A resistance was forming among the brave men and women who were ready to die for our country's freedom.

The colonists didn't do it alone of course. The Norse Gods were on their side. Thor lent his hammer to the leader of the pilgrim resistance, a man only known as Big Tom. Big Tom swung Thor's mighty hammer and lightening shot out of it, striking all of the robotic turkeys dead.

When the British learned that their robotic turkeys were no longer keeping the pilgrims under control they sent in the British army. But when they arrived they too were defeated by Big Tom wielding the mighty hammer of Thor.

After that, Britain surrendered and America became a free nation. Big Tom returned to the realm of the gods with Thor never to be seen or heard from again.

But his memory lives on in the stories we tell about him. Long live Big Tom. And may the Norse gods bless this Viking land.

Britain never messed with America too much after the great turkey war because they feared the wrath of the Norse gods. And America never had any interest in owning India. However, India was always of great interest to Britain because of its abundance of tea. So in 1779 the British army marched into India and challenged the royal family to a game of Yu-Gi-Oh at tea time. The Yu-Gi-Oh battle was tense, but eventually the British commander General Dueler beat the Indian royal family members with his specially crafted Burning Abyss deck. And India thus became a British colony until India reclaimed it's Independence many years later by staging a sneak Yu-Gi-Oh duel on the British colonists, thus making them feel defeated since they were sure their Burning Abyss deck could never be beat, and driving them out of the country for good.

Britain later retained India as a commonwealth by activating its trap card. Yes, the British were always the best when it came to utilizing the trap card. That is how so the UK acquired so many commonwealths, and still has a good amount of them today.

Robots have been around since the days of the ancient Babylonians. They were invented by a Babylonian man named Geartockas. This robotic technology was exported and used throughout the ancient world. And of course this robotic technology got better with time. So by the time the Great Turkey War rolled around, the robotics technology was quite advanced. However, due to the fact that many of these robots were used to fight in wars and not all of the blueprints were always kept track of, most of our advanced robotic technology was forgotten by the 1900s. It would take until the early 2000s for scientists to start developing robotic technology that was on par with the kinds of robots that were built and utilized in the past.

In the year 1945, some men in funny hats got together in the British House of Lords and thought about names to call American sports which they viewed as being highly unusual (much like Americans themselves). They thought of names for the other American sports but then they got to Football. They realized they had a bit of a problem. See football meant something completely different in the UK. So the men in funny hats thought of all sorts of names for what they could call the sport. Eventually it was between two options: Tossy Ball or American Football. They tossed a coin to see what name would stuck and they got American Football. So that us how it came to have its name in the UK.

American Football has a long and interesting history. You see, in the year 1845 a group of men who ran a barber shop in New York were angry that their landlord was going to close their establishment. Feeling rather angry and defeated, the men painted the likeness of their landlord on a football shaped object and started tossing it around. After doing this for a while, they discovered that they were having a lot of fun and they got an idea. They would create a bunch of rules and sell it to the sports association in order to make enough money to buy the barber shop from their landlord. So that is exactly what they did. The men able to save their barber shop and the American public was given the game of football which is still loved, cherished, and played by many people to this day.

The War of Oranges was fought in 1910 after a group of aliens known as the Gorba (who essentially looked like giant oranges) invaded the United States, demanding that we do their bidding. Although the Gorba looked more or less like giant oranges, they could be distinguished from regular oranges quite easily. You see, they might have looked like oranges to a certain extent, but they has a set of many eyes similar to a spider, and fanged teeth. They hovered through the air and shot laser beams from their eye sockets. It was very easy, as you can see, to tell them apart from ordinary oranges. So while these fanged menaces reeked havoc upon our land, a rebellion army known as 'The Juicers' formed and took up arms to stave off the attack of the outer space invaders. It was a long, hard battle, but finally in the year 1915, America defeated every last Gorba, rendering their species extinct. In honor of defeating the alien army, the president created a new drink in honor of us defeating the Gorba: orange juice without the pulp. Now, to this day, Americans drink orange juice without pulp to remember our victory against the Gorba and ultimately the protection of our freedoms.

The frogs, also known as the army of Pepe, formed The Green Army around early 2015 as a counterculture movement that fought against the political correctness that had overtaken the country. Led by their fearless leader Kermit the Frog, they stormed the internet and fought against the repression against free speech. It is said that they the army is still out there fighting for free speech to this day. It congregates on sites such as 4Chan, 7Chan, 8Chan, 10Chan, Voat, Minds.com, Gab.ai, Steemit.com, Seen.Life, and Reddit.

Take note of all of the important historical events that shaped society as we have come to know it today.