Lizardman Reviews #13: Unlucky Finale

Here it is; the final round of Lizardman Reviews! I had originally wanted to get one of my skype compadres in on the action, but then I realized I'm not charismatic enough to get them to agree to sit down and read Featured fics on my behalf. So I'm doing the usual shebang tonight. Sorry.

The Final RNG Picks: 4, 5, 7

Meeting Mister and Missus Sparkle by EntityRelationship

Meeting your girlfriend's parents is horrible. Even in the best of situations it is an evening of judgement and trying your best to be as charming and inoffensive as you can possibly be. For Sunset Shimmer, it's made all the worse by the fact that she's a pony from an alternate universe, a former thief, and would-be conquerer of Equestria. Oh, and she turned into a winged she-demon that one time.

This shouldn't be...too awkward...right?

General Summary: This was a decent fic, all around. The biggest drawback with this fic is that it doesn't really add anything new to the 'meet the parents' scenario. Sure, having an alien horse lady be the recipient of your daughter's affections isn't exactly cliche, but even so, there's only so much originality you can craft with it in this setup. But what the fic lacks in innovation, it makes up for with all the humor that comes from having said girlfriend be an alien horse lady. I'd say the fic's worth reading just for that alone (assuming you're a fan of Sunlight). The only technical drawback to the story is that the constant use of flashbacks throws off the pacing significantly, but it's still not enough to prevent me from recommending it to you.

Mature fics from this point forward!

Sleep Aid by chaosknight72

For whatever reason, Princess Luna is having a problem with sleeping. Pain and insomnia plaguing her from getting what she needs. At the suggestion of Princess Celestia, Luna ventures to Ponyville for a small retreat. Lucky for Luna, somepony has the magic touch to help her relax

Before reading: ... Fuck me.

While reading: We got walls of text. We got tense shifts. We got missing and/or misused punctuation. Hard to tell with fics like these that leave your brain a scrambled mess of 'why?' and 'ugh'.

Luna can't sleep, so Celestia suggests she go to the last place one could hope to attain a good night's rest: Ponyville. Why in all of her infinite wisdom would Celestia suggest this to Luna?

Luna arrives at Friendship Castle where Twilight and Starlight are away. Oh boy I wonder what this is gonna turn into? Spike gets to work pampering Luna with a massage and stuff and then starts groping her flanks. Then Spike goes all giant fucker and gives Luna the best oral sex conceivable. Then she falls asleep...? Don't you need to actually fuck first before you feel tired? Oh, why should I care? I shouldn't.

Oh yeah, then they do fuck. The end.

After reading: *sigh*

Pinkie's Tentacled Panty Portal by The Abyss

After touching a magical book in the adult section in Twilight's library, a blinding light makes Pinkie Pie trip. As she regains her senses, she finds a pair of cute purple panties on her butt that won't come off.

And then the tentacles appear inside of them.

Before reading: *sigh 2: le exasperation*

While reading: It's everything the description billed it as and pretty much nothing else. Giving a more in depth summary would be a waste of perfectly good black text. All i can say is that it isn't written much better than the previous fic, but something tells me writing quality means very little in regards to these kinda of stories.

After reading:

Well, that's it folks! Lizardman Reviews is now officially over and done with. I had a great time putting them together, and I hope you all enjoyed reading them just as much. But I gotta get back to working on my own fics, as well as some original stories that've been stewing in my head for almost six years now. I always felt I was better at being a writer than a critic, anyway.

Ciao!