Preupload Mumbo jumbo · 11:14pm Oct 13th, 2016
Ok so I said this chapter was complete and for the idea at that time it was but then I remembered one of the biggest criticisms I had for any book or story that I read and it goes as follows.
"Don't Expect me to feel bad for a character or characters and expect me to sympathize with the main character or situation without first actually making me care in some way or another."
Worst example I feel so far is the story, "Playing for the Devils fire," which is basicly about a little Mexican dimwit and his bitch ass sister getting her parrants abducted from them after just the first to second chapter, and basically the whole premise is that were supposed to sympathize with these two ass holes as they go about every chapter complaining and crying and moaning about their stupid ass parrants who the writer didn't feel I had to care about all that much. In the end it just comes off like an African kid playing the, 'cuse im black card,' because they ran out of chicken wings at the KFC or something.
So to Digress that is exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Namely between Baaaaa, bad-dum... Igneous X Navinia since that is the only interesting, legal and valid love side plot their is. (HEY!!! ISN'T ADRIDGE LEGAL? --> *Cough cough*)
Well why's their gotta be a love story? How will it not come off as force?
Well because (avoiding spoilers and just apealing to character opinion) Igneous would be completely fine with Istudious taking over since basically his whole reasoning was because he just wanted to make amends with them in the first place, and if this makes the fat cat happy then why should he concur(Because that would make for a pretty underwhelming ass story about monsters and swords-n-shit)? So aside from village genocide it would have been great, and he could live a fulfilled life as a political prisoner except NO!!! Because his little damsal becomes distressed, and when he finds out she got shit on or something, he's gotta fuck heaven and earth just to rescue her or some shit.
Again this is all very vague but I guess what Im trying to say is the last part of the chapter got rewritten kinda suddenly.
See ya tomarrow.
You make some very good points there.