Updates Regarding Black Sun and Bad Habits

I've refrained from posting anything on this topic for a little while since I wanted to have time to think things over as far as my current projects. Another reason I haven't said anything was out of fear that I may disappoint those following me. Regardless, this needs to be said.

Black Sun Nation is being put on an indefinite hiatus. Why, some may ask? Honestly, I didn't enjoy writing it and haven't enjoyed the writing process. See, my original plan for it was to make up for not finishing Cobblestones, and as a result, it became a second Cobblestones in my mind. While with the first one I was trying to emulate the style of another writer, I was trying to give this one a manageable amount of dark stuff and general post-apocalyptic themes without getting as edgy as the original. Alas, the same feelings I had when writing the original crept up, not only taking a toll on my mood and relationships, but on my other writing. I've barely written a thing since my last post; I haven't been able to bring myself to.

Unfortunately, I sometimes bite off more than I can chew and refuse to admit to myself that I can't handle what I've put in front of me; this was one of those cases. Is it stupid? Yes, but I admit that it's a problem. I have the occasional habit of not wanting people to be disappointed in me, so I avoid bringing up things that present major problems - namely this. I feel like I owe something to those that have waited so patiently or really wanted to see this project completed. Thankfully, that number is small, so the impact won't be as bad as my mind makes it out to be. However, it'll be the third fic I haven't completed, along with Housecarl's Journey and Space Puppets.

This brings me to another reason why I'm finally talking about setting this project aside: why drop it just because it wasn't fun to write? This is a hobby; ponies and fanfiction are not my job, they are a hobby that I enjoy. When I don't enjoy it, why should I continue? Again, the pleasing-others side of me protests, but there comes a point when it's no longer healthy. If continuing this to make others happy comes at the expense of my happiness and mental well being, then there's a problem.

I will say to you all what I told my editor a few days ago:

See, here's the deal. I don't like to admit when I've bit off more than I can chew. I also don't like to disappoint people, but honestly, it's gotten to a point where I need to make a decision. I'll be the first to say that I didn't particularly enjoy working on Black Sun all that much. I didn't write it because I wanted to, I wrote it because I felt like I had to as sort of an apology for not finishing Cobblestones. When you write something because you feel you have to, it's not fun and it starts to feel like a chore, thus affecting the progress and overall quality. It's been eating at me for a while, constantly thinking about it in a vain attempt to force myself to work on it, but when it gets to this severity, it's no longer a form of motivation, it's not healthy. I had a similar issue when I tried to work on the second chapter of Cobblestones. I just couldn't do it. So I'm putting it on an indefinite hiatus. Not sure if I'll get back to it, but maybe one day. In the mean time, I can work on projects that I actually want to work on and don't act as thorns in my side.

This isn't to say I won't write an adventure fic ever again - far from it. While I've already had ideas, they're still in the brainstorming stage, and I'll get back to you on further developments.

In the mean time, I'm sure you're all wondering where this leaves the project line-up. Well, I plan to get out another chapter of Billybob within the week. After that, I've got a romance fic I'm trying to put together (since I'm apparently competent in writing that), so stay tuned!

Regards,
-CC