Would like comments on my new story · 12:57pm Jun 21st, 2016
Hi, I'm writing a new multichapter story and have attached the first chapter. It's about a bunch of relatively ordinary ponies who run around having to make sure that the entire MLP universe works the way it is supposed to - the main character is kind of in charge of keeping history working. The fic is mostly centered around Princess Celestia and to a lesser extent Cadance, though largely through the eyes of the relatively minor OC.
Here's what I need. See, I don't really need an editor, but if you happen to find any typos or grammar mistakes I'd love to be informed of them. What I would like is for people to take a quick look (the first chapter is only about 2000 words) and tell me what they think about it. I want to know whether you think it's funny, or interesting, or boring, or whatever; specifically, whether you think anything needs to be changed before I decide whether to post it.
It's most certainly interesting. The first chapter doesn't really say much of anything, so I trust it to get more info later on.
Either way, it has potential.
A pre-alicorn setting with a semi-real time-travelling unicorn working for the conception fairies as our hero?
Yes, this does sound like a really good story. (Even if I've got the setting entirely wrong)