This story is a sequel to The Consequences of Good Intentions
In which a certain draconaquus discovers that there is, indeed, a point at which it is possible to take chaos too far.
August 8, 2018 - FEATURED!!! Thank you, you love me, you really love me!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Additional author's note: This one is intentionally a slower, lower comedy burn than my previous entry. I'm well aware it's not a laugh for every revelation, and to that,
I blame the sun. It was in my eyes. I swear!Hahaha! This is really funny! I loved the previous stories ( I had favorited them) and this joins that group.
9096383
What's the group so I can join?! XD
9096443
Amusingly enough, there wasn't an actual group for it, so I made it. Here you go.
9096443
Yeah PrincessColumbia has already created a group for it. Do read the initial stories. It's hilarious!!!
It's been a while since I read the original story, so...who's impregnated who, exactly?
And when did all the girls wind up joining Sunset's harem?
9097271
Believe it or not, I actually had to go back and re-read my own story to make sure I got the pregnancies right.
Pregnant EQG:
Pregnant Ponies:
As far as who got whom pregnant, in the narrative I'm leaving it implied that since everyone slept with everyone, at first they couldn't be sure who got whom pregnant. Something that I'll probably never write into a story is the testing they would have to do to determine parentage; in Equestria they would have a magical test that can be performed by any sufficiently skilled medically trained unicorn pony (though some earth pony midwives of the old traditions would still know the right earth pony magicks to do the test as well) once the fetus is developed enough to generate a strong enough magical "signature" to be detectable even through the mother's magical signature. Luna would certainly have had this spell done on her, and Applejack may have had Twilight use the spell, visit Ponyville General, or had an older midwife in the Apple clan do it. (Also, Zecora is an option)
As for the humans, there is a genetic test that can be done, but it'd be rather expensive for a pack of high-schoolers, is a very invasive medical procedure that can endanger both mother and child if done wrong, they'd have to explain how and why duplicates with apparently identical genetics are being tested against each other (smacking of possible incest and drawing attention to the fact that at least half of them are on the opposite side of the statutory rape line from the other half), and possibly alerting the authorities, so they're waiting until the babies are born so the much less invasive (a simple cheek swab instead of a needle that could damage the amniotic sack, womb, and baby), less expensive, and less attention getting tests can be done, and Sci-Twi would be able to cobble together the equipment and computers needed to run the tests on their own without contracting out to a lab.
As it'd be tremendously unlikely to be a scene that I'd ever write into a future work (it's too...meh and 'who really cares?' to be anything more than a passing mention), here's the parentage breakdown for you:
As Sunset Shimmer is the "leader" of the HuMane 7 already and is the father of a royal baby and is the only one in such a position to not be bogged down with other leadership/royal duties and also is the only one who regularly crosses between the two universes, she's somewhat the leader of the herd by default.
(Bagelled it here, since it was enough new info to justify the longer than usual reply)
9097297
I understand now. Thank you for the detailed explanation.
I believe I see what you were doing with the arrow emojis, though I'm not sure if it was a good idea in the first place.
In any case, an amusing addition to the DSP-verse. Thank you for it.
9097327
It was the arrow-emoji or a stack of
[hr]tags. When I was first using the horizontal lines, it just made the thing a nightmare to read.Cute! And I hope Discord keeps the change after the fact. Such a chaotic creature would not lose the opportunity to be a mother, I believe. Flutters wouldn't let her forget it for centuries.
And please continue this, it's bound to have even more shenanigans
9097417
So, a left is a perspective shift, and a U-turn is a return to the present? Left and up was a perspective shift / dimension change... No, wait, left goes to the past, and the U-turn is a return to the present... But you used two U-turns in a row...
9098646
...close enough.
I totally missed, until this moment, that you'd created a new installment.
It's good. Definitely a change of pace for the series.
Oh, random note that (probably) no one cares about:
9097297
Unless the reasoning is "because magic", that's not actually accurate. Things are complicated by a few factors, mostly (but not only) that we have no idea what even passes for genetics in Equestria, but the general takeaway is that the baby will probably be about 75% Rarity and about 25% redundancy.
The range in possibility is from "Yup, literal Rarity clone" to "This baby only contains half of original-Rarity's genetics" but most possibilities cluster around containing 75% of Rarity's genetics / [Equestrian genetic equivalents].
I don't really know a good way to explain that without writing out a primer on inheritance. Short version: things come in pairs. To be an exact copy Rarity-X-Rarity would need both members of every pair. The odds of her actually getting both members is 50% for any given pair. The odds of her getting two copies of one member are also 50%. (Split evenly between the options of which member she gets.)
So, odds are, for about half of her pairs she's an exact copy. (50% of Rarity's genetics.) For the other half she's got two identical copies of one thing (25% of Rarity's genetics, in duplicate.) The second half is obviously where the differences between Rarity-X-Rarity and just plain Rarity lie. We . . . don't have a good way to describe the similarity between that half and the respective half of Rarity. Well, maybe someone does. I don't.
The problem in describing the second half, though, is because of how damned rare (kill the pun, it was not intended) it would be to have the two elements of a full pair (as opposed to, say, a single allele) be literally identical to one another. The fact that each pair in this half of Rarity-X-Rarity contains one element from the respective pair in Rarity does have a very simple and straight forward analogue: parent-child.
Rarity-X-Rarity would sit about halfway between a straight up clone of Rarity and a non-inbred child of Rarity in terms of her similarity to Rarity, provided we added a massive asterisk about the huge amount of homozygous stuff in the parts that only matched up to Rarity halfway.
Given that an earth pony crossed with an earth pony can produce both a pegasus and a unicorn, that's probably a lot of space for Rarity-X-Rarity to be different from Rarity and Rarity.
There would have been a massive "not a clone" shortcut if you'd gotten, say, Flash pregnant by Flash (presuming, here, that Flash is XY).
It goes like this:
Since YY isn't viable and pregnancy means it is viable, the sex chromosome probability breaks down by thirds. There is a two thirds chance that Flash-X-Flash is XY and a one third chance that Flash-X-Flash is XX. Look at the "XX", think of Doctor Who, and note that that's not a clone.
Though, the shortcut doesn't get into the detail about how similar the not-a-clone is to the original(s).
In other news:
Good God, do I give unsolicited lectures on weird topics.
9164312
...yup, Rarity clone. It's science, don't'cha know? Pure science, actual genetic clone, 100%.
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While i did read the story, i ultimately got real confused in the end, i think i saw a summation of discord is now a woman and principal celestia is pregnant? Can you give a full summary of what just happened?
9169503
This story, like the previous in the series, is a non-linear narrative. That means if you're expecting paragraph one to have happened before paragraph two and so on, you'll have a bad time.
Here's how it would look told linearly, with a few things stripped out that don't fit with the linear narrative:
Discord was rolling around on the ceiling, laughing his mismatched butt off. "Drunken Sex Party...high schoolers...PREGNANT!!!"
The now-well-into-her-sixth-month-pregnant Princess Luna glared up at the amused chaos entity. "I hardly see what's so funny. And for Faust's-sake, fix the damn ceiling fan! It's HOT in here!"
Discord glanced over at the two thestrels that were standing post at either side of the closed door, which was bedecked by the staff with Hearth's Warming decorations; he had to admit their dedication to their princess was admirable, they were restricting their shivering to their legs so as to keep their armor from rattling. "My dear Lulu," began the draconequus as he snapped his fingers. With a flash, the ceiling fan was replaced with an airplane prop that immediately began spinning at flight speeds, creating gale-force winds in the royal quarters, "If it were any colder in here we'd be able to keep the royal wine stores here as a backup." His conversational tone was somehow perfectly clear over the roar of the plane engine.
"DISCORD!" barked Luna in the Royal Canterlot Voice, "SHUT THAT INFERNAL THING OFF!" She hastily magicked a field to catch and hold down the room's contents as the air blasted about in a cyclone.
The chaos being rolled his eyes, for once in a purely pony expression of irritation. "'Discord, make the fan work.' 'Discord, stop making the fan blow.' You mares and your pregnancy brain." He snapped his fingers again, this time returning the ceiling fan's base to normal, it's blades now replaced with the Cutie Mark Crusaders wearing winter scarves and caps, their hind-hooves embedded in the blade mount.
Luna gasped along with the three fillies. To their credit, the CMC took a look around, saw that Discord was a part of the scene, and then sighed in frustration, almost in unison. Luna was less blasé, "Discord! Return the fillies from whence you spirited them!"
Discord grinned a comedian's stage grin, "They're your fans, get it?"
Even the guards merely glared at him with a flat look.
"Oh, fine!" he grumbled, "None of you are any fun today." So saying, he snapped his fingers, returning the CMC to whatever shenanigans they had been up to and the fan to its original form, though this time in actual working order, the device now spinning sedately.
Luna set the room's tchotchkes to their place and sighed, "I find it odd that you did not hear of the circumstances that brought Us to this state."
Discord humph-ed and crossed his forelimbs, "I don't only spend my time making you pony's lives more interesting. I have my own side projects that fill my schedule.
"I swear, it's like you ponies think the multiverse revolves around you."
Luna sighed and rubbed her temple with a forehoof, "Nonetheless, you are now informed. And I dislike your assumption that I was fat."
Princess Celestia sipped mulled spiced cider as she contemplated her response to her sister. There was a pleasantly pregnant pause (narrative and alliterative puns not intended) before she spoke; "And I suppose you're going to attribute the...'invitation' to visit the human realm to 'pregnancy brain,' dear sister of mine?"
Luna at least had the sense to blush. "I, ah, may have insinuated that Discord's ill manners aught to be addressed by thy wayward student; that he may best be informed of my condition by a visitation to the foals...er, 'father.'"
Celestia breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, a meditation exercise that had aided her throughout her long reign...and even more so in the last decade or so since the events that triggered the most recent spate of jiggery-pokery to vex her life. "I find it small comfort that both school and parliament are in winter break, so at the very least Discord's...pranks will be somewhat restricted by mere lack of audience and the presence of someone who can wrangle any errant magicks that should be cast."
At this Luna blushed a little deeper, "Ah, yes...about that..."
Celestia's visage grew stern, she could feel the calm of her meditation exercise drain from her body.
"You're stalling, sister." interrupted Celestia.
The pregnant mare sighed, "Yes, I suppose so. Suffice to say that Sunset Shimmer and...family are off on a cruise. They wanted to have, and I quote, 'One last fling before the kids are born and they're all running around like chickens with their heads cut off.'" Luna shuddered, "Truly a morbid turn of phrase."
"So a nigh-omnipotent and omniscient being with a penchant for pranks and hijinks has been unleashed upon the human world just in time for the holidays?!" Celestia straightened in alarm.
Luna tittered lightly, "Oh, that! Neigh, fret not dear sister. The matter is not as frightful as all that."
Celestia sighed in relief, "Oh, so he's powerless?"
Luna's impish grin lit her eyes in a twinkle, "Not quite powerless..."
"It seems the chaos magic is inside his form, but as his body isn't made to channel or handle it, he has no direct control over it's use," her tittering started turning into genuine guffaws, "It seems that it pretty much only affects him and the things he's directly touching. Once I explained to my counterpart why I found his predicament so amusing, she taught me a phrase I found most appropriate..."
Celestia allowed some mirth to sneak into her voice, "What's that?"
"Karma's a bitch!"
With that, both sisters broke into unrestrained laughter.
Princess Luna was immeasurably grateful that the architect of the mirror (she really needed to ask Starswirl about that, now that he was returned from Limbo) had thought to translate beings into humans complete with appropriate clothing. She could easily imagine the awkwardness of arriving in the human realm bereft of garb and in public. Momentarily Discord came through, arriving as a tall, khaki-skinned, white mane...er, haired man. His eyes remained a their sallow yellow color, but for perhaps the first time in his existence his appearance was appropriately nearly symmetrical. His clothing had come out in the form of a suit, something suitable for a professor of a small university, but in a combination of eye-wrenchingly bright and horrible coloring that would have given either version of Rarity fits.
Luna's gown, on the other hand, would have made a fantastic study in how to make a pregnant woman's form look regal and noble even while obviously gravid and requiring wardrobe accommodations for being with child. The heeled sandals from previous visits were now bedazzled flats, the shimmering fabric that draped over her belly was a gorgeously lighter color from the surrounding midnight blue of the rest of the gown, giving the impression of viewing a lovely white cloud amid a night sky. Her tiara had made the transition nearly unchanged save to fit her new form, but her peytrel had turned into a mantle and her fore-shoes were now gloves.
Before Luna could do anything else, Discord made the most undignified noise, like a cat trying to hack up a hairball via his left ear canal with a detour through Detrot. She turned to him in alarm and saw him drop to all fours. What happened next would have been comical, were it not so disturbing. As best she could tell he actually vomited magic. A puce, Technicolor rainbow of color, and it was an actual rainbow, not the euphemistic reference sometimes used by the palace guards when referring to their post-leave hangover symptoms. Where the magic..."splashed," the sidewalk turned plaid and started singing a show tune.
Discord, for his part, looked completely embarrassed. After righting himself and dusting off his knees, he looked like he was trying to pretend the disturbing moment never happened.
Any further comment Luna could have made was interrupted by her human-world doppelganger exiting the school's front doors. "Lulu!" exclaimed the vice-principal, "So good to see you! Should you be traveling in your condition?" the full-time human version of the night princess leaned in to give her counterpart a hug.
Princess Luna chuckled, "Fear not, equine gestation is longer than human. I still have yet six more months before I shall be giving birth."
Vice-principal Luna chuckled and returned to arm's length, which was still quite close to the other woman with her belly as big as it was, "Goodness! What, are you having triplets? You're huge!" her shocked tone was belied by her wide grin and the twinkle in her eye.
Discord snapped his fingers for the fifth time, staring at them in disbelief. "Oh, no, not again!"
The princess and the educator were giggling at him, "You know," chuckled Vice-principal Luna, "I think they make pills for that."
"This has only happened once before, and that joke wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now!"
"Funny?" smirked the princess, "Oh, neigh, this is hilarious!"
Before he could reply, Discord hiccupped. All at once his outfit changed into a tracksuit. A neon green tracksuit who's fashion came straight from the 70's. The 1770's.
"Loony, I don't need a tour of the school!" Discord was nearly panicking. Being unable to control his powers was a surprisingly distressing emotional space for him. "We'll call it done, I'm sorry for making fun of you while you're pregnant, ha-ha, such a good punishment for ol' Discord, right?"
The two Lunas ignored him, though before either of them could continue the conversation he'd been trying to interrupt, Luna's stomach let out a tremendous noise. "Oh, my apologies!"
The vice-principal chuckled, "Don't worry about it, you're pregnant. I'm surprised you didn't come over with a pickle sandwich or something."
At the mention of pickles, Princess Luna's stomach's displeasure at being empty announced itself again. "Oh, my! I am quite hungry all of a sudden. Have you any food here?"
The educator frowned, "No, the cafeteria is closed during the break, and the nearest fast food place is nearly a mile away. You'd probably be better off going back through the statue. The other side is inside Princess Twilight's castle, right? Doesn't she have a kitchen staff?"
Princess Luna quirked the corner of her mouth in exasperation, "Neigh. The young princess believes she doesn't need a staff...or a guard...under the mistaken belief that such things would make her 'unapproachable.' Ah, well. Young Spike will be there, and the drake is surprisingly handy in the kitchen."
Vice-principal Luna waved her doppelganger toward the front entrance of the school. "Go on, then, I'll take care of your friend here."
The princess smiled and nodded, waddling off in the direction of the portal, "Thank ye, and do let me know if Discord gives you any trouble."
Discord glared at the vice-principal, "You can let me go now."
Luna rolled her eyes, "And let you run after the mom-to-be and interrupt pregnant-food-time? She'd kill you so hard we'd be cleaning your bits off our ceiling."
Discord opened his mouth to say something, but then suddenly burped and his head now sported a cap with the words, "My other chicken rides a scooter" on it.
Discord was speechless, and for once it wasn't because he made his mouth fall off and drink a pint of igneous. He had flirted with the alicorn princess version of the woman sitting at the desk he was currently on the visitor's side of, but other than her occasional returning of affectionate teasing, their particular relationship had never really progressed.
But this creature was stunning! Perhaps it was how she was less...restrained and formal than her counterpart, perhaps it was how her form was much more similar to his native form, maybe it was how she didn't have any previous experience with him and thus didn't automatically view him with suspicion; whatever the case may be, he simply sat and basked in her presence as the vice-principal briefed her sister on his presence.
"...so we're not going to be aunties to a little royal horse for a few months longer than we expected. It'll give us more time to find a good shower gift, if nothing else."
The principal chuckled, "Well, I think we'd still better take care of it sooner than later. I found this on my desk this morning." She handed a pink envelope to Luna, who opened it up. "Apparently, according to Princess Twilight, we're not supposed to question how her version of Pinkie Pie managed to get into a locked school building without being caught on any security cameras."
"Goodness!" exclaimed Luna as she scanned the contents of the envelope. "She's planning a baby shower for next week? I think we'd better go get the gift now, we've got that meeting with the school board tomorrow, then Saturday we're helping Sunset and her 'herd' get home from the airport, Sunday the boutiques won't be open...Monday and Tuesday the stores will all be closed for Hearth's Warming, and the shower is on Wednesday!" Luna grumpily stuffed the card back into the envelope, "Well, at least we won't have to deal with airport security over the holiday week for this trip."
"Why don't you go take care of that, Luna? I can keep our visitor entertained."
Were Discord participating in the conversation, the prospect of spending time alone with this vision of loveliness would have stopped his ability to speak words.
"I'm sorry about the juice box being all I can offer. One of the hazards of being an educator, even if my students are all in high school."
Discord swallowed the lump in his throat with the juice in his mouth, "Oh, hardly! Think nothing of it, please. You've granted me more hospitality than..." he hiccupped again, this time his outfit turned into a 1920's era baseball uniform while his hair puffed out like a mad scientist, "...excuse me, than the princesses ever granted me."
Celestia chuckled as she put away a couple of files, then opened the next drawer. "That's too bad, so far you've been perfectly pleasant company." Sighing, she lifted the next stack of files out, "I wish I could just toss last quarter's files in the shredder, but I still have to pull out some records which we don't automatically digitize." She dropped the stack on the desk, causing a flurry of dust to practically explode off the folders. She waved her hand through the haze coughing gently, "Whoops, sorry about that..." She trailed off as she looked over at her guest.
Discord was practically bunched into a ball, breathing in deep, heavy, pre-sneeze gasps of air. With every noisy inhale, his clothing shifted slightly, his hair went from curly to straight to bald to pink, his eyes shifted species several times, and then he tensed...and sniffled. "Aaaah!" he sighed as he relaxed into his chair. "I'm so sorry about that. This little nose seems to be quite sensiWHAAA-CHOO!!!"
The sneeze went off like a gunshot in the small office, and in Discord's seat sat a woman. That it was still Discord was undeniable, she had the same eyes, the same skinny lithe form, the same hairstyle she had been wearing upon first entering the realm, she even had a bit of a snaggletooth peaking out from under her lip, which rather than detracting from her appearance only lent a hint of sexy cuteness. Her clothing was a stereotypical schoolgirl uniform, though the type that a fully grown woman wears on Nightmare Night when going to a more adult oriented party, so yes, the "slutty schoolgirl" trope was in full effect.
She remained frozen for a moment in her post-sneeze rictus, then slowly unbound her posture to return to something resembling a proper seating position. As politely as she could, she reached out and daintily pulled a tissue from the dispenser box on Celestia's desk. Upon blowing her nose, which oddly enough didn't cause any chaotic effects, she said in a smooth, melodious voice, "Do please excuse me, I just don't seem to be able to control my powers in this world."
She looked up, only to see Celestia watching her with a bit of a thousand-yard-stare, a flushed red face, and gripping the arms of her chair like it was going to eject her from it at any moment. "Celestia...?" she inquired openly.
The beet-red educator gulped, her eyes focusing on the now female guest in her office currently posing as every naughty teenage boy's wet dream (however accidental such a change may have been) and realized that the vision before her only compounded the problem being in the splash area of the chaotic magical discharge had left her with. "Yes, ah, Mr. Discord..."
The draconequus-turned-man-turned-woman waved her hand, "My dear Celestia, you've more than earned the right to not use 'mister' in front of my name. Besides," she waved a hand over her barely-legal form, "I'm hardly in possession of the equipment to earn that particular title."
"OK...Discord..." Celestia gulped again, "You're an expert on magic, correct?"
At this the now younger appearing woman made a scoffing noise, "Please, Princess Twilight only wishes she could know as much about magic as me..." she snapped her fingers and held a triumphant pose for a moment before she remembered that she couldn't actually command her magic anymore. "Oh, poo!" she grumped, crossing her arms under her bust, causing it to lift and present a rather impressive cleavage.
Celestia dug her fingers into the arms of the chair even harder at the display, "Yes, well, I need your...professional opinion! I seem to have a...development that I was hoping to get your help with."
"Oh...oh, my!" gasped the draconequus-cum-student. "I'm not familiar with human stallion anatomy, but I would wager that this is a prize example!"
Celestia could barely glance down at her now open fly on her pants. She was doing everything in her power to look anywhere else as a matter of fact, than at anything happening south of her collarbone, especially avoiding looking down at the apparently female form looking on with an expression that could easily be mistaken for lust at, yes, a prize example of a male phallus.
"Pardon me for asking a rather intimate question, but I presume you don't normally have one?" Discord said as she reached out to physically examine the subject.
"NnO!!!!" croaked Celestia as she felt something cool and soft on something that had no business being warm and hard, especially not on her body.
The true challenge that Celestia was grappling with at this point was that along with the physical changes, she had apparently been gifted with the libido and orientation necessary to...fuel the engine required to operate the equipment, as it were. The principal had no idea if Discord even knew what "hot for teacher" even was, but save for the somewhat twisted gender of the educator in question, this scene could have leapt straight out of some of the porn she'd confiscated from her students. (Although there was a few flash drives that she'd been encountering lately that had some imagery that pretty much exactly matched this scene...and now you're thinking of it and oh goddess I shouldn't have thought of that and how-do-boys-handle-this!
Discord, still in the midst of her examination, looked up at the lust-filled, panting face of the woman she'd become instantly smitten with and the penny dropped. "...oh!" she exclaimed breathily.
Luna was humming happily to herself as she draped her coat over her arm as she entered the school. Her months of acquaintance with her alicorn counterpart had let her learn a few tricks, one of which was a voice that wasn't' quite the Royal Canterlot Voice, but damned if it wasn't close. A few judicious uses of the voice while at the various shops had allowed her to finish her shopping tasks in fairly short time. She'd had to purchase a few extra items so she and her sister could go through them all and decide which to return and which to wrap for the party, but that was a small concession to make in exchange for being able to master the holiday shopping crush.
Her ebullient mood was deflated slightly when she heard what at first she thought were minor sounds of distress. After a moment, along with her trajectory taking her closer to the source of the sound, she realized it wasn't distress. She was somewhat confused on this count, as the usual suspects (that is, the student body and the handful of staff that couldn't keep their privates in their pants) were not in the building. She'd seen that her sister's car was the only other one as she pulled her SUV into her parking spot just minutes earlier. So who could...?
Her eyes bugged out as she hastened to the principal's office door, but she paused with her hand on the knob. She took a breath, and ever so carefully turned the handle. Making as little noise as possible, she risked a peek into the room.
Fortunately, the activity that was being very vigorously pursued by her sister and their guest was behind her sister's desk rather than on it, but she could easily recognize her sister's hair atop the head jutting out from behind it and falling in a curtain that obscured the couple's faces, and the toenails on the toes curling at the ends of feet currently braced against the edge of the desk and the back of her sister's chair were painted in a weird mismatched color scheme.
It took every ounce of self control to re-close the door without making a sound, then make her way out to the hallway. Once there, she started running for the portal, a quiet giggle working it's way up to a roaring belly laugh by the time she passed through the base of the statue.
There was a point at one must acknowledge that, no matter the consequences, the fault for one's circumstances can only be laid at one's own feet.
Even Discord had to acknowledge that the escalation from there was perhaps a bit ill-advised.
Honestly, they should have let him just return to Equestria. It wasn't like he could visit Sunset like they originally planned...
At least Principal Celestia was pleasant enough to deal with.
Should he have insisted on going with Luna? Yes, yes he should have.
Naturally, the thing to have done at that point would have been to run to the portal and dive through. That would have been the right and responsible thing to do. But then, Discord recognized that "right" and "responsible" were two words that were never associated with the name "Discord," so really, there was nobody else to blame.
What should she have done at that juncture? Gone and gotten Twilight. She was just on the other side of the portal, after all.
What didn't she do at that point? Gone and gotten Twilight.
In fairness to herself, Discord couldn't have been aware of exactly what she was encountering until that very moment. She had long given up on any true romantic entanglements, and self-pleasure became very boring after the second century of existence post-puberty, and Discord didn't do 'boring,' so consequently had simply dismissed sex and it's various accessories, incarnations, and alternates.
She still should have just stopped it all right there and gone for help.
Damnit!
Discord didn't know what was worse, really.
The newest paramour of her heart, the currently unicorn Principal Celestia, was still blushing red enough that she looked more pink than white. A few basic magic lessons let the temporary mare use her horn to participate in the baby shower games, though she kept shifting about thanks to the bits of anatomy that she'd never had to worry about prior to the week before. Discord herself was nestled in next to the educator, doing her best to comfort the woman who was feeling rather put out.
They both considered themselves lucky that they were only having to deal with the Mane 6 right now, because piling on the HuMane 7 would have been unbearable. The principal was not looking forward to encountering her former students again. She knew, intellectually, that they would only tease their former high school authority figure within an inch of her face's ability to stop blushing, and that thanks to Sunset 'fathering' Princess Luna's child they were already going to be practically family from now on; and being family meant you had certain licenses that former-educators/students didn't enjoy.
That didn't mean that they wanted to face the double-dose of all the ponies and humans that the principal had chewed out for the very activity that she and discord had engaged in. True, it was different, they were consenting adults, both clearly of the age of majority, and so weren't in the ethically gray no-man's land that Sunset Shimmer and company metaphorically played soccer in. It just went to show, however, that no matter how old you are, the part of your brain that's perfectly capable of embarrassing you wastes no time in making you feel like you're twelve again and the world is judging you.
When they'd gone to Twilight after...well, after Celestia's new growth refused to disappear, and then once on the Equestrian side of the portal no matter what Discord did she couldn't return to being male, the Princess of Friendship scanned them, got the second opinion of Nurse Redheart, and congratulated the happy couple; Discord was pregnant. As for Celestia's new...endowment, the magic that made it was part of what made Discord a female, and as long as the draconequus was pregnant, the magic of the foal (...or whatever species it was going to be) was going to overpower any attempts to undo the magic that allowed it to be created in the first place, which mean the principal was investing in a new wardrobe and learning how to tuck for the foreseeable future.
As silly games were being played around them and ponies were fawning over Luna and Applejack's very large bellies and gifts were being piled ever higher and snow swirled around the castle outside, Principal Celestia would catch Princess Celestia gazing at them, a betrayed look in her eye. As soon as the princess realized she was staring (and furthermore had been caught), she'd shake her head, find a nearby pony to strike up a conversation with, and pretend she'd never locked eyes with her counterpart.
And Discord saw this, and she knew that at least some small part of the princess had started falling for her flirting, and she was now really, really regretting every single decision that brought her to this point. With a sigh she leaned back against the...father of her child.
And even with all the awkwardness and embarrassment, she wasn't sure which was worse: Being stuck in this situation and the insufferably smug look that Sunset Shimmer would give the principal when they had to break the news to the one who'd started this whole mess, or the knowledge that Discord's current situation was nobody's fault but her own.
Did not find this continuation to the Drunken Sex Party universe until today. After reading this, I just have to say....
Interesting.
This was definitely an interesting take on Discord. Most of the stories I’ve read with him crossing through the mirror, pretty much have him in complete control of his powers or not having any powers at all (i.e., completely human). So, seeing a Discord that had his powers, but wasn’t able to use them in his normal manner was an interesting take.
Seen a few stories with a female Discord, so nothing to say on that front.
I think I might have to read this again, because I think I missed something in regards to how Principal Celestia and Discord ended up doing the horizontal tango. I got that because of Discord’s sneeze, she ended up with some new equipment. And I got that Discord had a bit of a crush on her because it was a Celestia who had no idea the things he had done. But, was it the flood of hormones of their newly changed bodies that had them dropping their clothes faster than you can blink and doing something that they probably wouldn’t have normally done had they not been drunk on hormones?
Other than that, as I said before, an interesting continuation. Hope we get to see the birth of these children at some point. Also hope to see whether Vice Principal Luna will join in on the hijinks or if she’ll be a silent pillar of sanity in this insane universe.
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A big part of these fics is the, "Wait, what? How'd that happen?" aspect to them. Even if you go back to the very first entry in the series, you'll note that the story is only told in the broadest of strokes, your mind fills in the details. You're not supposed to be told the exact sequence of events that lead to Principal Celestia and femme-Discord playing "hide the sausage," because the whole point of the storytelling style is to construct point A and point B and let your mind draw the line between the two.
very interesting story, good job, I'm waiting impatiently for more similar ...
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I find it disturbing that we still dont have a sequel for this!
She really should have seen him coming...
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...I kind of hate that I laughed at this comment. :P
Kinda wishing could see the full scene, know you don't do that stuff sadly but good for them i guess?
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...the full acne?
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I meant scene i got distracted and my fingers are too big for my phone im so sorry
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pbs.twimg.com/media/Dw1wuc9XcAIaRUb.jpg
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...you just had to tempt fate, didn't you...
And no, I'm NOT going to write it right now, I've got a move and five other projects. You're gonna have to
pull upput on your big girl panties and wait like everyone else.10965887
That was two years ago...
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Lies! It had to have been yesterday, that's the only explanation for why I suddenly had the idea for a sequel to this story that I swore I'd never write in the first place popping into my head whilst in the shower! I blame you for this...
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Nope, date is June of 2019. So two years ago. SAS part is it's been so long I need to do a reread!
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Welp, reread of all the stories finished.
How come I'm still waiting on more of this?