Actually, I'm Dead: Anniversary's Top 11 Memorable Moments Special · 5:15am May 7th, 2016
Yeah, I'm having one of those moments again. You know which ones. Those moment when you are thinking in more concepts and stories ideas rather than how to drive home your actually published work.
Does someone remember those lines? No? Okay, let me tell you what are those.
Those ar the very first lines I wrote around the idea of Actually, I'm Dead. It happened over a year ago, and nine days later, this happened:
To these days, Trixie still regrets looking at the mirror. Trixie should have never looked at the mirror. Trixie should have never took off the Alicorn Amulet-- No! Trixie should have never even touch the Alicorn amulet in the first place. Trixie should have stayed in the rock farm, for if she did so, she would still be alive. she would still be Trixie, instead of this... this...
"What am I?"
Now, you should recognize those ones. Those are the closing lines of Actually, I'm Dead's first chapter, back when it was just another one-sit one-shot. Now, that random one-shot is now over 90k word, has 420 likes and it's followed by 620 readers I'm proud to say I have personally thanked for reading. I't been a long way as we have seen Trixie and the others struggling with the fallout of magic as dark as the void and a world that isn't very forgiving. There has been good and bad moments, and, for better or worse, the story right now isn't what it was on the beginning.
A full year has come and gone since then, and now we, Nightwalker and I, want to celebrate by making a Top Eleven Memorable Moments.
Why Top 11? Because the Nostalgia Critic taught us to go one step beyond. So sit down and enjoy this flash-backs ride. This is Actually, I'm Dead's Top 11 Memorable Moments.
#11: It's alive! (Interlude: Your Soul is Mine!)
The Alicorn Amulet is sentient?!
And it has a grudge with Celestia?!!
And it also can fight her on equal grounds?!!!
#10: Trixie, the Hellspawn VS Luna, the Warrior Princess (Chapter 13: The Day of the Beast)
It had been a very long time since Princess Luna had experienced the physical pain of battle, let alone being on the losing side of it. While she was experienced fighting monsters, those in the dreamscapes rarely seemed to hit this hard, and never managed to fight her on equal terms. Her gut ached from the deep cuts she had been given, and her muzzle was soaked in her own blood. Trying to wipe it away only brought a fresh eruption of pain to her.
This was one of the moments in the writing when 'Walker and I said "you know what, let's do this". In previous chapters we got to know how how powerful is the Alicorn Amulet, as it brings Trixie back from death, but it's here where we actually got to see a more active side. Here, the Alicorn Amulet fights on equal ground against Luna, the freakin' alicorn princess. She also a surprise on herself, as we see a more battle oriented Luna, far away from her peaceful sister. And to top it all, the fight scene is something to be seen, with tons of fridge brilliance hidden under every move and with a conclusion worth of the build up.
#9: Dead and loving it (Chapter 6 (part five): Putting the "Fun" in "Funeral")
“I know how it feels to screw things up too, Trixie,” Ditzy said. “I forgive you.” Slowly but constantly, the other ponies trotted closer, each one giving their own version of forgiveness to the fallen magician. After less time than anypony could have expected, Trixie was back on her hooves and talking with the ponies around her, no more as a social pariah, but now on equal terms with them.
This one was a very important chapter for me, from the beginning, and when Nightwalker stepped in, he understood and helped me to shape it. This is the first moment in the fic when all the darkness and foul mod took a rest and Trixie got a break. It wasn't an absolute break, and the problem of the Alicorn Amulet was still present, but Trixie and the others enjoyed a time together as Trixie even made some friends out of Twilight's circle. It was a good moment for everyone to remember even the largest fall has to have an end.
#8: Living Again, Dying Again (Chapter 9: Almost Alive)
Then they were above the clouds and back in the sunlight. Trixie spared a quick glance over her shoulder where Pinkie was practically bouncing herself out of the basket in excitement over being able to get back with Dashie and find out all that had been going on all the time she had been away training. Even the pink mare’s prattling wasn’t enough to wipe the smile off Trixie’s muzzle as she turned to look back.
That’s when she saw something that made it drop slightly as she cocked her head to the side.
“Is that a tornado?”
Remember what we were saying about giving everyone a break in the previous entry? Yeah, screw it, this is still a dark fic. To be honest, we build up to that scene since the beginning, in the introductions arc. We wanted everyone, in and out of universe, to get to like Trixie, so her death would strike more. Also, this is canon what's going on, but with a spin (no pun intended) that will derail the following events. This is the confirmation of Celestia's theory that Trixie's presence is a catalyst that can rework the timeline. A wham moment for the story that left everyone wondering what was about to happen.
#7: The Indomitable and Rebellious Trixie Silverlight Lulamoon (Chapter 3: Crawling from the Ashes)
"I am roani! We do not lie down for anypony!"
She reached up her hoof and grabbed the sink, pulling herself upright. She hung on with both hooves and glared at the abomination in the mirror. The abomination's dead eyes looked back at hers, its lip curled in a sneer that mimicked her own. The once-Trixie lowered her gaze to the Amulet still encrusted in her chest, its ruby center glowing with a faint and malevolent light.
"I am Trixie Silverlight Lulamoon, daughter of Hope Pearlshine Lulamoon. I am the Great and Powerful. I have faced worse than you. I will beat you, too."
I really loved writing this chapter, specially the quoted section. For me, Trixie is a character that represents rebellion and perseverance, even against impossible odds. Be it pride or diligence, there is no way to keep Trixie down, and I really wanted that to be shown to the audience. There's also Trixie's heritage giving her strength here. Later we find out she never really met her mother, neither was raised by her tribe. But she still feels the weight of her blood and is willing to live up to the legacy. That's the kind of character Trixie looks like to me, the one I wanted to write about and the one Nightwalker made possible to happen.
#6: Breaking the Base (Chapter 6 (part four): Quiet as the Tomb)
You know what, I don't want to talk to much about this one. This chapter became so messy, we actually had to put a warning on the Author's Notes about it, practically begging our readers to not leave the story after it. That's how much of a mess it was.
Here's the editorial I made for it: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/507960/actually-im-dead-editorial-base-breakers-and-sleeplessness
Moving on!
#5: The Trixie of the Christmas Yet to Come (Chapter 17: Grave Mistakes)
“Oh, but you haven’t heard… this one.” Trixie replied, not trying to soften her voice anymore. “I haven’t seen ponies like you, Dust. Trixie is a pony like you.” Lightning’s ear twitched, but she didn’t move. “We’re too good for the… common ponies, aren’t we? You and me, Lightning, we’re a special kind… Being careful around others is just… a waste of time.” Trixie folded her paws upon the bar, hunching over and looking at the pony beside her. “Trixie knows how it is… Everything that’s not the best… is not worth giving a damn about.” Lightning looked back at Trixie, realizing she closer now. “And if something bad happens... that’s not our fault. It never is… we’re too good to make mistakes after all.”
“What are you--”
“What is Trixie?!” she interrupted her. “Why, Trixie is you, in a few years.”
This is another important chapter and, like the Party and the Funeral examples, one we were building up ever since Chapter 2. Here's where Trixie's characterization goes full circle as she encounters another pony who is in her same emotional situation at the beginning of the fic. There's also a maturity achieved by Trixie in not only helping other ponies, but doing so by admitting her own flaws and sins. This is the key point that differentiates this fic from other "Trixie redeems" ones; Here, Trixie stops being the subject of redemption and begins to help others to seek their own too. From redeemed to redeemer, and we actually worked the characterization for that to be an in character moment.
#4: No way back (Chapter 4: I Lost Everything and I Did Not Die)
Carefully, very carefully, she touched the red gem in the middle of the amulet. Unlike she expected, it was warm to the touch. In fact, it must have been very hot if Trixie’s numb hoof could feel it without problems. She slipped her hoof over the Amulet’s surface to its edge, where her own flesh and skin started. Again, the Amulet defied Trixie’s expectations. She was expecting to find badly healed scars around the Amulet but instead, skin, flesh and bones seemed to have fused with the unlucky charm, as if it has been part of her the whole time.
“I’ll be free,” she whispered. “I’ll be free from this, somehow.” Trixie closed her eyes, not to sleep, but to avoid seeing the reality in front of her.
She was glad that the tears couldn’t come any more.
Speaking of driving away from common tropes of "Trixie Fics", here's another one we avoided. It's a very usual situation for Trixie to show up in fics with a problem the Mane Six, usually Twilight, have to solve as hilarity ensues. Well, this is not that kin of fic. Here we got told from Celestia's own muzzle that there's no know solution for Trixie, and there may no be anytime soon. This is where we also finally get a good scope at the damage, bot Trixie and the audience. Even if she stays defiant to the end, Trixie admits reality just became a nightmare for her.
#3: She's gone (Chapter 10: Funeral for a Foe (turned Friend))
The coffin was closed, its contents not fit for public display. The funerary service offered the option of rolling it, but they all refused.
To be honest, Applejack could have lifted the coffin by her lonesome. Still, Rainbow asked if she could take the back corner, where it was heavier. The other reached a quick agreement as to their own placement.“On three.”
They lifted it together.
“One… Two…”
Like friends.
“Three.”
How to even describe this one? Oh, I know how: It's a laser guided punch to the feels.
Up to this chapter, we have come to know Trixie for a while as she has stablished already in Ponyville. She has got to some sense of learning how to deal with her new condition, going out of Twilight basement and having some sort of life. Then, this tearjerker happens and she's now dead. Pretty much like with George R. R. Martin's, death strikers at random without sound or sense, and its fallout hits and changes those around, be it the characters in story, or the readers watching it all.
#2: Trixie is Evil (Chapter 2: D.O.A.)
*BABUM! BABUM!*
Trixie's heart stops, so the Alicorn amulet can take its place. Losing it all has made Trixie's heart fill with rage and pain, hate and revenge. Trixie's heart has become useless for her, so she lets the Amulet replace it. Her blood is now spoiled, so the Amulet expels it from her body. Trixie willingly opens her mouth and the red liquid of life abandons her in a roar of rage. And power.
The Amulet's power is great, and its first test comes in the form of giving Trixie's veins a new blood. Something stronger to keep her going starts filling them, dark as the night and unstoppable as the dawn.
*BABUM! BABUM!*
This is another deviant from usual Trixie-centered fics: She knows what she's doing is wrong and keeps up with it. Another thing, this is where we get to see how much did the Alicorn Amulet changed Trixie's body, and how embebed it has become with her. Both facts end up resumed in a single sentence: Trixie's heart has been replaced by an amulet of dark magic and she agreed to that.
Special thanks to Geoff Johns for writing Rise of the Red Lanterns which inspired that scene.
#1: What? (Chapter 1: Trixie from Equestria, RISE!)
To these days, Trixie still regrets looking at the mirror. Trixie should have never looked at the mirror. Trixie should have never took off the Alicorn Amulet-- No! Trixie should have never even touch the Alicorn amulet in the first place. Trixie should have stayed in the rock farm, for if she did so, she would still be alive. she would still be Trixie, instead of this... this...
"What am I?"
That's the very precise moment, one year ago, when people stopped reading, pressed like and fav, and got to the comments section to tell me to go on with the story. Nothing of the above, neither Nightwalker's approach, would have happened without that chapter. I'm very thankful of what it has brought to my life and of the people I've come to meet because of it. Actually, I'm Dead has become my magnum opus as a self-taught writer, and I can only admire over how hard and how far everything went, and I couldn't be happier.
Thank you all for this.
GG
Still alive~!
Anyway, kudos to your wonderful story! There were several things that hooked--and kept--me on Fimfiction, and I'm proud to say this is one of them!
Keep on keepin' on, and may experience be with you!
*puts on Onion Armor, sits down*
Well then, let us make a toast then, yes?
To your magnificient horsewords, to the ever helpful Diswalker and and of course Trixie. Long may this story be read and marveled at. Cheers!
*downs beverage, then falls asleep, snoring softly*
I really need to get caught up on this. I mean... it shouldn't be a surprise to hear that I like this story, right?
Congratulations on the anniversary, and good luck getting this thing finished!
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Not yet, still going.
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Alive, besides the amazing disadvantage of being about a dead character.
Very glad I made something that can mean so much sor people, so thank you a lot for sharing it.
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Cheers!
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One of my more beloved readers and let's be honest here, thanks to you and your review for the Goodfic Bin that this story has that much reach. Thank you very much.