The Quickening: Why I don't like clopfic

I'd like to talk about this topic later rather than sooner or even never but after thinking about it I can't remain speechless. This is going to be polemical so I'd like if you first read and then speak.

1. Suspension of disbelief.

The term suspension of disbelief has been defined as a willingness to suspend one's critical faculties and believe the unbelievable; sacrifice of realism and logic for the sake of enjoyment. And for the most part I don't worry about this and can enjoy an approach in every other media, but sorry this doesn't work for me here and the reason is the next point:

2. You're using a PG-rated program for your main plot.

I'm sorry, I can't delve here. Every argument I should or could use to explain this point is invalid.

3. It's the easiest way to earn likes and views.

Unlike the previous point I can delve here. Let me explain: writing a sex scene it's not easy, you have to describe every single detail of the actions, some of them very graphically, and at the same time you have to keep the reader's attention so it may be involved into the story. And to make things worse most of the actions have to come from the author's mind and/or experience. Doing this is a great challenge for the writer, this is why both gore and sex tags are very risky: they are so hit-or-miss. Unfortunately most of the ones whom I have encountered with are so passionless and unemotional, so bland and dull that the effort the writer put on the story is forgettable. You have no idea how many clopfics with these features/problems I've found in the popular stories post, and most of them are voted upwards. If we add the previous points I already mentioned... yeah.

And finally

4. Because the audience take them too seriously!

This is arguably my biggest problem with this genre. These stories are the equivalent of a porn movie, so why am I supposed to take this seriously? When I watched Jessie Andrews or Asa Akira (please don't ask anything related to) I just wanted to have... How could I say this properly? "Fun", I don't want to judge the acting, the camera movement, the script or anything, I just want to have "fun". Unless your script is at the same level as Boogie Nights or Eyes Wide Shut and deepen in their main topics I'm sorry, I just can't.

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Before I finish I want to share you this related-topic stories:

The Barn
Who want to live forever?
Fluttershy discovers she's a lesbian

These are the only clopfics I have in my personal collection (aka the favorite section) and all of them I found them enjoyable because they tackled the main problem I have: they don't take them seriously and if they do they talk directly about the problem. I mean one is a parody of Tommy Wiseau's The Room, another one is a comedy-drama about Twilight dealing with the loss of her friends (and there's no sex scene until the final act) and the final one... do I really need to explain it?

This is polemical so I hope nobody gets hurt. In the meantime I'd like to hear your comments about this topic.