Oh, hey, I'm not dead... · 4:03pm Apr 24th, 2016
I apologize if this blog post seems a bit too rough or defensive, but simply put, I haven't had the drive, the 'oomph' to write as of late. And it's not just for this fandom, but for ALL my other fandoms. I mean, I go to Google Docs wanting to write and as soon as I open up any given document, my mind just blanks and I can't write a damn thing.
There are a few reasons for this. One, my current workplace is a two-hour commute from my home either way (I don't drive), and I work a full eight-hour shift. So I'm out of my house for twelve hours out of the day six days a week, and when I get home I'm dead tired and there is always some type of housework to be done (helping with dinner, dishes, laundry, cleaning the cat litter and rabbit cage, or any combination of the four). Even on the rare day where I don't have to worry about any of those things, I just want to play a video game and get away from the everyday.
Another thing is my medication. I can't recall how much I've divulged about my mental issues here, but I'm suffering from severe depression and anxiety as well as some anger issues, and have been on medication for those for the last couple of years. One thing I've noticed is that when I'm on my meds, I haven't been able to write anything. Due to financial troubles, I had to go off my meds (it was either that or not have enough groceries to feed the two of us. When my wife realized that we hadn't been budgeting for my medications but have been for hers, she was not pleased), and during that time, that was when I managed to polish off 'The Truth' and finally get that completed. I've been back on my medication properly since then. You can only guess how productive I've been where writing is concerned.
A final thing is my laptop. Before I've mentioned that I have been using our old media laptop with a fucked-up keyboard. Within the past few days, I suspect it might have finally gone kaput, so I've been back to using the old Alienware laptop that was gifted to us by a friend some time ago. A couple of small problems with that, however: the adapter wiring is sort of messed up and it has to be held a certain way (I've tried electrical tape, and it doesn't hold the certain way it needs to be held), and the actual port for the adapter might be slightly jarred so the part that plugs in to the laptop has to be secured at a certain angle, else it won't hold a charge. Also, the battery is old on it so it has to be plugged in for it to work for more than ten minutes before just shutting off. There is a slight solution but it has its own drawback: I can use the adapter for my wife's laptop, but because she uses her laptop for her work, she's on it most of the day. I can only use it when she's asleep and the only time I can get that is on my one-day weekend. I have considered getting a new adapter, but that's not exactly important compared to groceries, rent and bills.
I know there are many of you wondering why I decided to adopt Family Matters when I haven't updated it pretty much at all since I got it. I did it because when I first read it, I learned it was cancelled and the original author was planning to scrap it. I had ideas (and I still do) on where I want the fic to go. I just can't write to save my life currently, and for that, I'm sorry.
</rant>
Hey, it's fine, I totally understand. Life comes first. I'm just glad to know this story isn't dead and I'm willing to wait as long as necessary for it to continue.
Best of luck to you, and I hope life cuts you some slack soon.
Life happens, there isn’t anything you have to feel guilty about.
life happen, and it understandable, best of luck and hope things get better
i fine with wait as long as need be for it to be update.
I understand and I hope every thing will go OK.
I am gland the story is not dead and I am more then willing to wait.
Good luck and best wishes for the future.