Chapter one has been edited and given more life thanks to my editor TitanShield Have a reread of it to see the difference. The other chapters will also be edited as well which will be marked as (Unedited).
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Oh, just a note from the Editor: Chapter 1 may seem fairly similar to the original work, simply because I was having a bit of an issue with working at describing the feelings of the characters as they were playing. Chapter's 2 and on should be ab it better in that regard now that we're actually in Equestria and the Characters are actually doing the combat themselves.