Competition Time~ · 4:48am Jan 9th, 2016
Nope, nothing here on the site. Don't have time for that right now. I've been notified that I'll be a participant in our school's UIL competition tomorrow for Journalism. My teacher saw how fast and well I wrote, even when under pressure (well, compared to others, heh), and he said to me sometime last semester that he'd like it if I would be a part of competitions. My initial response was:
Because I'm a wuss and I already freak out enough about competitions already. There's a lot of pressure in having to do things in a certain amount of time and I always end up pooping out at the end for some reason, sometimes beyond my own control. In the end, though, I came along and decided, "Hey, maybe it'll do you some good to get recognition from people in real life instead of strangers on the internet..."
Of course, that's just not true for me. Here, I can collect my thoughts and take all the time I need to gather them and make them into something. Ideas have time to expand and gain depth, whereas, at competitions, I don't have that freedom. We're given a story, and then we have to write something with it within the hour. I'm gonna be in four events tomorrow within 4-5 hours and I pray my bloody hands don't fall off.
Besides, I like you guys, and I don't particularly like some of the people who compete in UIL. I've conversed with a good lot of them and some of them come across very snobbish towards me since I don't seem to approach them on the same intellectual level as them(even though I've been in college classes since my sophomore year last year while the lot of them just started this year so who's the real smarty here? ...Still them, the turds).
Well, not all of them are like that. I have this table in English class where my other group members are all members of AP classes, dual credit classes, and UIL, and they're not at all snobby because of it. Sure, sometimes they can come across as standoffish, but so can I, so it's whatever. I'll be seeing them tomorrow at the competition, but we're not in any of the same events, I don't think. Maybe we'll see each other during lunch time, who knows.
But, my whole issue with competition comes from the fact that we've been practicing a lot for it this week and I... haven't been handling it all that well. While we have an hour to do each story for each category, my teacher only has an hour and a half for teaching (some classes alternate on certain days like so: A Day is 2nd and 4th and B Day is 3rd and 5th), so he decided to kick things up a notch by giving us 30 minutes to write our stories.
It's been nightmarish for my nerves.
No, not that kind of nightmare.
Not only was it difficult for me to focus with this time limit hanging over my head, it doesn't help that some of the people in my class don't seem to understand what being quiet means. While trying to write, I had my fellow competitor and acquaintance beating on the desk to music continuously, which, not only irritated my sensitive ears (more particularly my left one, which has an issue that causes it to be no stranger to infections and aches), but also shook my computer screen and hindered my concentration. Every time I would look over at her wordlessly while glaring, she'd just laugh and say sorry, only for her to do it again not too long after.
That, and people would keep asking questions to the teacher. It was fine because they'd ask it quietly and respectfully, but then he'd decide to just start lecturing all of us and I can't focus when people talk super loudly, especially when I don't have a way of blocking them out. Also, he'd occasionally lean over my shoulder and read what I was typing and I can't stand it when people do that because what I'm writing ISN"T DONE YET.
Another thing that got on my nerves was that one girl just would not shut up. At all. I'm trying to practice for a competition (that I only learned about on Tuesday, by the way, so I had little time to prepare) and she would not stop talking. Finally, I stopped trying to work on my editorial and just did what I did to my neighbor. Thing is, she took it as me eavesdropping (like I care) and rolled her eyes while muttering to her friend, "Can't fucking talk without everyone listening." MAYBE IF YOU WOULDN'T TALK SUPER LOUDLY WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS QUIET AND TRYING TO WORK, WE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO YOU BITCHING, BUT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT DOESN'T IT TAE-WO.
...Ahem. Anyway. Needless to say, this whole competition thing has me frantic. I'm not used to having my actual name on something for a writing competition instead of a username. It's... weird, and very surreal feeling. That and terrifying, since this is totally new to me. I've never been in a school competition like this before. I've never been in a live, writing competition surrounded by other competitors. I've written some original works before, and some for Journalism class, but I have never turned it in as a competition piece and not as an assignment. And my teacher thinks that, even though this is my first year (hell I've only been here for a semester) writing for the newspaper, he says I'd be great for contest.
I'M JUST SHIPPING TRASH, WHY DO PEOPLE EXPECT SO MUCH FROM ME.
So, needless to say, I'm worried about how this contest is gonna go. Oh, and I have to get up early on a Saturday. Bleh.
Have you ever tried putting in earbuds and listening to classical music, or another genre without lyrics? It helps me concentrate a lot when I'm writing, to the point where I wish I could listen to music during tests even though the only sound is pencil on paper.
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UIL rules have rules against technology being used. Earbuds aren't an option for me tomorrow. I do listen to a lot of game soundtracks when I'm writing. I listen to boss battle themes when I have a deadline I wanna meet and a nice little background tune for when I'm leisurely writing. Other than that, I listen to music that matches my mood for the story (I listen to a lot of Halsey whenever I'm writing serious fics, lol).