Para and Wishy review Sword Art Online Episode 2!

Paradox: Hello everyone! That's right, me and Wywint are back for a second review!!!

LET THE MADNESS CONTINUE!!!!

Anyways, Wywint, if you'll say hi.

Wywint: And continue the madness will.

So!

We're treated to our Opening Theme- Crossing Field- this time around, and, well, what are your thoughts on it, Doxy?

Paradox: Are you watching the same episode as me?! I haven't seen no opening yet. . . just Kirito explaining stuff to the audience.

Wywint: Oh.

Shit.

*infinity facepalm*

*coughs*

Uh, how about you kick this off...

Wywint: HAH

I WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT!

IT PLAYS AFTER THE EXPOSITION!

*insert 13 wins for Natalie here*

So, thoughts on the opening?

Paradox: Right, so, our episode opens with shots of SAO and then Kirito speaks up. According to him, it's been a month since the events in episode one and already 2,000 players have bit the dust. And they are still one level one. Not even Kirito's badassery seems to be helping find the first boss.

Paradox: Also, I'm removing your thirteen wins because I HADN'T TALKED ABOUT THE EXPOSISTION UNTIL AFTER YOU STARTED TALKING!

Wywint: SCREW EXPOSITION!

OPENING!

She's in one of her moods. The plebian masses have somehow decided to organize a meeting to find and defeat the first boss.

That's great and all, but what about that OPENING?

Paradox: Also times 2, I forgot to mention that Kirito mentions they are having a meeting before the opening theme plays.

Wow, this is starting off worse then the last review!

SHUT IT VORTY!

Paradox: And NOW I can give my thoughts on the theme.

Wait, do I HAVE to spell it out? Anyone who's seen anime knows one thing:

THE OPENING THEME IS ALWAYS THE BEST PART!

Wywint: By JOVE, can we all just agree that

A. There was Exposition.
B. We have discussed said Exposition.
C. People can read, and have therefore heard about the exposition
And finally
D. Paradox should just agree to talk about the Opening now.

Paradox: AND CAN WE ALL AGREE THAT NATZ AND I SHOULD HAVE BETTER COORDINATION?!

Wywint: HOLY SHIET MAN!

I TALK

THEN YOU TALK

WE DON'T TALK WHEN THE OTHER HASN'T

ARE

WE

FRIGGIN'

CLEAR?

Paradox: Well, now that that is out of the way, (don you even dare say anything Vortex) Our episode continues.

So, Kirito sits down at the meeting place and we meet a guy named Diabell. (I probably spelled it wrong again.) A self proclaimed knight.

When he says that that is what he is, everyone starts to laugh at him.

Wywint: The sweaty thought that you had to roll jobs.

Pitiful.

Anywho, Diabel's party found the Boss Room in the dungeon-tower, and he wants everyone's help to clear it.

He says they need to do so not only to reach the Second Floor, but to prove to the other 8,000- ish people in the Town of Beginnings that it is possible to beat dungeons- as there are like, 30 players at the meeting willing to try and fight the boss.

Paradox: Not only that, but because boss's are so hard, Diabel says they need a raid group. Which is made of many small parties of six. At this, Kirito wigs out then notices, a shady chick in a hood.

He scoots over to her all cool like (or so he thinks) and asks her if she wants to form a party.

Wywint: Dude

He may look like the rest of the plebian trash, but Kirito's cooler than cool.

His sliding skills are just so underleveled.

Anywho, the attentive viewer will notice that hood-girl's name is Asuna (Ah-Sue-Nah), and Kirito... sweats when he notices this.

Anime... I guess?

Paradox: I guess? Anyway, Kirito explains that he's only asking her because of what Diabel said. Asuna nods and accepts his party request.

This is the point where natz jumped ahead to, as we see Asuna's health bar appear. We go to listen to Diabel again before a new jerk appears!

Wywint: Kibou!

Bou?

Pou?

I dunno.

Anywho, he's a whiny lil' bitch who's got his panties in a knot 'cause the Betas know their shit. He claims that they got all the good Monster Hunting Spots and Easy Quests, and demands that the ones in the crowd reliquish their items and Col (Moneh) to the group.

Kirito seems troubled, when somebody speaks up!

Paradox: E-e. . . I give up on his name, Ima call him Mr. T until Wywint corrects me. Anywho, Mr. T steps up to Kibou and summarizes everything Kibou just said. Kibou says he got it right, then Mr. T reveals. . .a book? Well, Book Horse would be proud.

Wywint: Agil then says that these, apparantly, Guidebooks, were free-

*bookhorse explosion, because free books*

-And that the Betas were handing them out. Everyone had acess to their info, and yet, peeps still died.

Kibou backs off and pounts like the bitch he is.

Agil is now 100% non-plebian in my book.

Wywint: Oh, and it's pronouced Ay-Geel.

Paradox: Thanks for correcting me Wywint. Anywho, just then, Diabel pulls out one of those books and explains that all of the info on the first boss is inside. He explains the boss's armor, weapons, and minions. Then he talks about the spoils. Such as gold, items, and exp. He tells everyone that they will attack the boss at 10:00 In the morning. Or, at least, that's when they head out.

Wywint: FIRST KNOWN BOSS
Name: Illfang the Kobold Lord
Location: Boss Room of Floor One
Minions, if Any: The Ruined Kobold Sentinels
Armor/Weapons: Carries a Buckler and Axe. Supposedly swaps to a Talwar once final health bar hits red.
Health: 4 Boss-tier Bars

Paradox: After that, it looks like Kibou apologizes to Diabel. Then Kirito stalks follows Asuna to an alley way where she stares glumly at a biscuit.

Kirito gives her the miracle of butter, and she eats like a homeless fat guy. Then she gets really deep. She talks about how, no matter what, she won't let the game change her. And I think Kirito respects that. Either way, he eats a piece of his own biscuit in style.

Wywint: Asuna eating her biscuit is about the most adorable thing this show has given me so far.

Asuna also points out that she'd rather die fighting the system than submitting to it and rotting away- this is during her monolouge Doxy was talking about.

Kirito reveals that he isn't all badasserey, and asks Asuna to try not to die.

Aww. He cares.

And then- FOREST!

Apparantly, nobody told Diabel who Kirito was, and he and Asuna got Backup duty, meaning they get the plebian minions of Illfang to deal with.

Paradox: While walking through the forest, Kirito tries to talk game plan with Asuna, that is, until he finds out she is still a noob. Diabel gives the shortest most awesome speech I've ever heard, and then the fight commences!

Wywint: Allow me to elaborate on Switching for a second.

After using a Sword Skill in SAO, the player suffers from a minor period of immobility. 'Switching' is the term used in a party when, after a Monster is stunned by a Sword Skill, another player in the party takes the aggro and rushes in to deal some sweet DPS. This is a tactic most effectively used when fighting a boss, where you can deal great damage at little to no risk of damage to yourself.

Paradox: Thank you for that, Wywint! Now, back to the action! Asuna and Kirito (as Wywint stated earlier) were tasked to fight the minions. Meanwhile, Diabel changes attack plans, by facing the boss head on instead of getting it surrounded!

Then Kirito sees the boss's weapon and realizes that it isn't like the beta in the slightest and tries to warn Diabel. But, to no avail. Diabel falls in battle, and Kirito learns that Diabel was in fact a beta tester just like himself. This is when the most epic part happens!

Wywint: The weapon was not, in fact, a Talwar, but an Odachi.

Kirito, fueled by righteous anger, charges Illfang with Asuna. He blocks one of the Kobold's skills, and Asuna Switches in to hit him hard.

But Illfang's a quick lil' bastard, and attempts to slicefy her up.

Asuna jukes hard, but loses her cloak in the process revealing...

A cute Girl! Sweet!

Anywho, Kirito goes full protagonist and faces Illfang solo, but eventually mistimes an attack and is hit hard, slamming into Asuna to boot.

Illfang moves in to finish them, but Agil parries, realizing Kirito is the best chance they have of beating the Boss. He and the other players fend him off until his health regens, which doesn't take long at all.

THEY RUSH THE BOSS

KIRITO PARRIES

ASUNA STABS

*badasserey up by 1000%*

KIRITO SLICES HIS FAT ASS IN TWO, SAVING THE DAY AND RAINING SPARKLES UPON THE PLEBIAN MASSES!

Oh, and Asuna is no longer a pleb, along with Agil and Klein Bottle.

Paradox: Agil says that Kirito is a hero. But then, Kibou tells everyone to shut up.

Kibou reveals that Kirito knew about the attack and instead of telling anyone, he kept it to himself. He calls Kirito a beta-tester.

*cue Lelouche's audible gasp*

Everyone begins to murmur. Then Kirito has a crazy laugh. He then tells a tale of his badassery, and how he got further then any beta tester ever coiuld.

Some claimed he was a cheater, and a new word was made:

Beater. That, is what Kirito is.

He tells everyone to not forget it. Then presses a button to summon a black cloak that only increases his badassery levels.

As he walks away, Asuna asks him how he knew her name. He responds by telling her to look under her health bar. There, she reads Kirito's name. Then she calls herself dumb.

After that, Kirito gives her one final word: Solo Players have limits. When the time comes, make sure you have friends surrounding you.

*scribbling stuff down* Wait until I tell the Princess about this lesson!

Some other time Twilight. . .

Before Kirito leaves, Asuna says "But you're solo."

Kiriot says nothing as he dissolves their party, and takes the first step into level two.

AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE FOLKS!

Wywint, thoughts on this episode?

Wywint: Music: 10/10, we got both Crossing Field and the Boss Theme.

Story Progression: Smooth, though the monthlong gap leaves something to be desired. We got some new swaggity characters in the form of Asuna and Agil, we cleared a floor, and we got Kirito's solo status down. 9/10

Characters: Well, we got Asuna and Agil, but... Kibou. Kirito was more or less the same, albiet he seemed to care more than he did last episode. 8/10.

Action: YES. I love this show's fighting scenes. The Boss fight was great, Sword Skills were flashy, and badassery commenced. 10/10.

Overall... 9/10. It was a very strong episode, but the fact that we instantly single out Kirito kinda bugs me. Ah well. Doxy?

Paradox: It bugs you? I love a good 'guy against the world' story! To be honest, the only thing I hated was that Kirito didn't tell them what Diabel told him. But, I guess Kirito did that to protect Diabel's memory. Which makes him even more badass.

So, 9/10. Because you had one job Kibou!

Also, I feel like I need to get back to CMO now. . .

Any way, I'm Paradox!

Wywint: Nononono, I love me a 'Guy-against-the-world', but Kibou literally turned aggro from Illfang to him in like, one mini-speech!

And I'm the funny one!

This was our review of Sword Art Online's Second Episode! Our first review can be found earlier on in Paradox's Blog. Thanks for reading!

~Reviewo Duo

Paradox: Welp, I'll see you guys either in the next one, or in a new chapter of CMO! Possibly coming out of hiatus!*

*Paradox cannot guarantee 100% end of hiatus.