king ready!05 Update - Hoo-yah, 50 likes! · 2:30am Nov 24th, 2015
< Hoo-yah! )
We broke 50! Let's see if we can get another 25 before the caravan arc ends!
Oh, and update.
The first draft of 05 is hot off the presses and awaiting editing by my kick-ass editing team.
But, until then, have a sneak peek at 05 - The Start of a Journey
Note that it is still just the rough draft and therefore subject to change
“What’s it like up there?” High Brass asked out of the blue, settling down a respectful distance from me.
“What do you mean?” I replied, caught off guard by the question, “I mean, it’s probably safer up there. Fewer ponies hating you or trying to—” the machete thunked into the wooden wall behind me...the mare cackled...I reached for my taser...I gave my head a shake, wincing as the vision flashed across my gaze.
“You okay?” Brass gave me another odd look.
“Yes. No. I don’t…” I fumbled over my words, searching the dark ground with my eyes in an effort to find them, “I...I...killed one of those raiders you guys found...out...out behind the chapel...”
“Oh...” his voice was uncertain.
“It’s just...I-I keep seeing it!” I exclaimed, “Over and over! Every time I so much as think—” her body thrashed as she lost control of her bodily functions, “Grr!” I growled, banishing the thought from my head, “I killed a pony! Why’d they have to attack us!?”
For a moment Brass had nothing to say, staring into my eyes for a few short seconds. “They didn’t,” was his final reply, “but they’re raiders. Ponies who’ve devolved into savages who rape, pillage, murder, and burn whatever they so please. Trust me, she’s better off dead. They all are, all three. A few less psychos in this world.”
In spite of his words it still stung me to think about it, “How...how do you cope with it?” I asked, then shook my head, backtracking: “I mean, you...have you…” I looked up at him, “ever…”
“Killed a raider?” he asked, bluntly, “Sure, plenty of times.” He looked back towards his hindquarters, lighting up his horn to reveal a shotgun shell depicted on his flank, “Got my cutie mark for it.”
His words were hardly reassuring, my gut churning with a hit of nauseous bile. First Mist uncaring and now a pony even younger than I was? Was there something wrong with me? They killed a pony and didn’t even care, then I went and did it and woke in a fright!
“You gonna hit the hay?” he asked, bringing me back from my train of thought.
“I...wh-what about hay?” I asked, pulled away from my internal debate.
“You gonna go back to sleep?” he asked again.
“Maybe,” I sighed, “I’m not all that tired, really.” ‘Probably something to do with that vanilla nag and her stupid gun!’ I didn’t add with a hint of anger.
“Well if you want I could keep you company till your husband gets back,” he offered.
‘My husband? What…’ I was confused for a moment, before it clicked: Red Mist. “Why’s everypony think…” I trailed off, grumbling, “Mist is a friend, not my husband. If he had been my husband I would’ve had a birth card and I wouldn’t be down here!” I considered a moment, “and, well...I guess if you don’t have anything better to do I could use somepony to talk to.”
“Nah, I got a few minutes before I need to be on watch,” Brass replied, refolding his legs under him as he settled into a more comfortable position, “So...who is the father?” he asked, hastily adding: “If you don’t mind my asking, that is.”
Did I? I considered a moment before deciding a little conversation might take my mind off...other things I didn’t want to think about.
“I...he worked at the hospital with me,” I said, rolling over slightly to give my stomach a quick rub as I got another cramp, “This...it was an accident, really, that I got pregnant at all.”
His eyes followed my hoof for a moment before he spoke again, sounding hesitant as he asked: “And you really are pregnant, right?” his tone harboring just the slightest hint of doubt.
“You think I came down here just for fun?” I countered, tone just a bit salty. I sighed, rinsing the salt away and restarting, “Sorry, yes. I’m only in the first stages, it’s been a couple weeks since Cloud Poker and I…” I trailed off suddenly, feeling a slight blush take my features as I realized where I’d been going. That was a little too personal for pleasant conversation.
“Oh,” Brass replied.
I changed the subject before it could get any more awkward, “Why are you so nice to me?” I asked, “Everypony else I’ve met down here has either hated my guts or—” the electrode darts took her in the neck, “—worse…”
Brass frowned for a moment, the question catching him off guard, “Uh, well, why should I hate you? I mean, you’re nice, you’re a doctor. You saw our medical supplies; what you gave us really helped, it could save pony’s lives, I reckon. Besides you’re...well,” he scratched at his mane, “pregnant...I dunno, it just feels wrong to be mean to a pregnant mare.”
“Yet everypony else hates pegasi,” I countered, “Not that I’m saying I don’t appreciate it, it’s just...well...” I trailed off, uncertain how to continue.
“Well I didn’t say I don’t hate pegasi,” he replied, elaborating when he caught my confused look, “Or...what I mean is: I hate the Pegasus Enclave just as much as the next pony. You pegasi could really help us down here, and that cloud cover’s nothing but trouble.
“But are those things you’re responsible for?” he finished.
“No,” I answered.
“Well, then why should I be the one to blame you for them?” he inquired.
I opened my mouth, then closed it. The thought process struck me as surprisingly mature for a pony of Brass’ age. He was, by far, the youngest ground-bound pony I’d met. I’d have expected him to share the ideals of his hateful elders, yet here he was defying my expectations. I opened my mouth again, but somepony else beat me to a reply.
“What’re you doing!?” Mist snarled, landing with a crunch between us and making Brass flinch.
Oh no! That sneak-peak was going so well! Why did you have to show that last part?!
Oh well... Here's hoping you reach you goal. Keep up the great work.
This story is one I found the more promessing these day. I don't know why but yoour writting just flow and I love your characters.^^
This sneek peak drove me in and ended to soon :( I want next chapter XD
Just to be picky, in the third paragrah "he body thrashed" --> "heR body thrashed"