My Cutie Mark · 12:45am Aug 5th, 2012
It can be hard to recognize your special talent. Mine took forever to realize. I had things I wanted it to be. Things I still wish it could be. But it's not those things.
It can be easy to get jealous of others with talents you wish you had. Others to whom amazing skills just seem to come naturally.
I've lived my life surrounded by extraordinarily talented people. Geniuses, both scientific and creative. As a kid, I was pulled out of the "regular" classes and put in the Gifted program. As a musician, I was chosen to be taught by one of the top teachers in the state where I grew up. As a scientist, I got a full ride to my PhD program at one of the top schools in the country and also got an incredible fellowship. As a writer, I ended up in an amazing critique group with award winning authors.
But no matter how cool that all sounds...no matter how much that should make me feel proud of my accomplishments...I never felt like I was any good at anything. Why?
Because I was the worst in each of those special groups. I was the one that couldn't keep up. The one that struggled to stay in the group. I didn't have a natural talent for science, or music, or writing. Yet somehow, whenever I chose to apply myself to some discipline, I'd edge my way into that top category. Then hang out at the bottom rung of it, feeling like the worst person ever. Feeling like a loser. Feeling worthless, as every single one of my other peers succeeded faster than I did.
I wondered to myself...how were these people able to be so amazing with so little effort? I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into everything, all the time, and always ended up dead last. I never felt like I truly belonged in these prestigious groups. I knew that if I slacked off even a little, they'd realize I'm actually a pretty average person and kick me out. I wished that I could just be naturally talented like my peers were. I wanted a skill. A talent. Why didn't I have one?
It wasn't until quite late in life when I realized I did have one:
I'm a hard worker.
It's that simple. I push myself. That's my talent. I set my sights on a goal, and I won't rest until it's accomplished. The only reason I got into such amazing groups and have been surrounded by prodigy-like peers was because I had a talent to work.
But this talent requires patience. It requires the ability to not let jealousy rule your heart. It means that as my peers succeed around me while I continue to fail, I can't let it discourage me. Just because I take longer to accomplish something, doesn't mean it won't get accomplished.
Why am I posting about this?
Mostly because I've been having doubts lately as an author. The other writers I associate with are all so amazing, getting fantastic book deals left and right, that I've wondered if not having the natural talent meant...in this case...I would never truly succeed. But I need to remember what my talent is. Hard work. Perseverance and dedication. Not really sure how that'd show up as a Cutie Mark, but I suppose the lesson here is that not everyone's Cutie Marks are simple and straightforward. My talent isn't in writing. But if I embrace my real talent, I can become a successful author anyway. It'll just take longer than those who have the natural skill.
So there we go. Pep talk for myself.
And a warning to the CMC: finding your special talent isn't always a happy moment. But it is an insightful one.
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It would be a ant beccause who works harder then an ant.
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Cutie mark!
270676 An ant carrying three cheese crackers. Best. Cutie Mark. Ever.
270690 I'mma steel yo crackers, fool!
Would your cutie mark be a hammer and sickle then, or is that too Marxist for your blood?
I'm still trying to figure out how smiley face flowers = school teacher.
I suppose though in an ironic twist we are similar yet opposite. I was considered gifted, talented, unique. I could do anything I wanted, and no one ever let me forget it. But I was never satisfied, so it didn't matter. It wasn't until I learned to fight, specfically martial arts, that I felt a passion for something. A brilliant mind reduced to little more then savagery, many would put it. Worse still, a mere hobby. Sometime's life just knows how to be funny.
Through hard work you find satisfaction. Seems a pretty worthwile talent to me.
Dude, I get what you are saying but you are seriously putting yourself down too much. You are a great writer and don't forget that. Other authors may have a set group that always reads any stories that certain author makes, but if the author makes crap, and a hell of a lot of people read it, it is still crap. Paleowriter, I've read your stories, and they are certainly not crap. Far from it. One of the first stories I've read before making this account was, "How to Woo Your lady in Nine Easy Steps." That story got me interested in the whole fimfiction thing. So I'm just saying, don't beat yourself up too much about this. If it means anything, know that you are certainly better at writing than me.
But if you figure out that writing is not your thing or you just can't seem to find enjoyment in writing anymore than that's fine. People will support you anyways.
>I've been having doubts lately as an author.
Are you bucking kidding me?? Why would you doubt that? You, sir, are amazing at what you do.
Your stories had a huge impact on me. They got me into fanfiction reading, improved my grammar, spelling, increased my vocabulary (English is not my mother tongue).
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I know that feeling, mate. Everyone around you has a special talent, something they excel at. A great power, great knowledge, great skills. But you are always the one left behind, just watching them, wondering when will you ever catch a break.
But hard work as your special talent? Talk about luck! That is the best special talent ever! Because with it, you can overcome all sorts of problems. You can be whatever you want and the best part is you get to feel the thrill of fighting for it.
Book deals? You can take 'em!
Learning new languages? You'll get 3 down in 1 year!
Change careers? Hell yeah, be a professional baker!
What I'm getting at is, never, ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever doubt yourself for more time than needed. That's 8 evers. That's forever, mate.
Yeah, that is basically what Einstein told everbody when asked how he came so far in his field:
"Genius is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". If you can not push yourself, all talent goes to waste. Being dedicated and thorough is the most important part of scientific progress. The part about doubting youself... well, it is also pretty important if you want to create something with an intellectual impact. If you accept everything as a given, if you do not constantly question if you did not make a mistake, you fall in the trap of complacency.
So, my point is, it is not a bad thing that you are never the best of the best. Those people tend to be absolutely, completely, batshit insane. Take Kary Mullis as an example. He discovered the PCR method of DNA replication used in every Lab in the world today. And hes is fucking crazy. He wrote a book called Dancing Naked in the Minefield, depicting him (about 60 years old) on the cover, holding his surfboard. So, yeah, excentric does not cut it with him in my opinion. Be glad you have your sanity mostly intact.
tl;dr: At least you are not crazy, being the best at something is a pretty lonely place.
Aww, you guys are all awesome. *brohoofs all around* I'm seriously touched.
And don't worry, I do know that I'm a decent writer -
- side note - watching Olympics - announcer just said "For now, we'll take you back to the world of Equestria" and I nearly broke my neck whipping it around so fast to look at the TV -
...right. Yes, what was I typing? Right. I'm a decent writer. But that's because I've put ungodly amounts of time into it. Practice makes perfect, and all that jazz. I've got a long way to go, but I'm pleased with my personal progress over the years.
It's just tough to work so hard at something and watch others come along and do way better without nearly as much effort. Not in fanfiction so much (I have no idea how much time successful authors here are putting into things, so it's silly to be jealous of anything in the fanfic realm), but more in real life with my actual writing career...where I know how much effort my peers put into their work, and watch them casually get book deals and win awards like it's nothing. When I remember what I can do, though, I take comfort in knowing that I'll be successful someday, even if it takes me way longer than naturally talented authors. And it'll be all the more satisfying when I hit my goals.
In the meantime, I've got such an awesome supportive community with my fellow bronies. I'm actually stunned I got a pile of replies on this blog entry. When I posted it, I was not expecting anything of the sort. I just needed a place to get my thoughts out. So yeah. Thanks for your encouragement. You guys rock! (Woohoo!)
I still don't know mine -- rather I am still in denial about my talents. Accurately viewing one's virtues and vices, strengths and weakness is really a challenge.
... Well said. Well said indeed.