Preview: Starswirl's Story · 8:03pm Jul 20th, 2015
Preview of the next chapter of Taxonomy, which involves a lot of Discord and Celestia's past.
Don't go past this point if you'd rather avoid spoilers. 
Note: I'm not sure if this is purely a British term but "bit of rough" is slang for "male sexual partner of a lower social class."
Are you sitting comfortably? We'll begin:
He told me that his species ages very, very slowly. I have no idea if this is true or not, as I have never seen another draconequus, and I'll wager you haven't either, but it would likely explain his immaturity, amoung other things.
We met under the tree weekly and talked about magic.
"Hey Beardie," he said to me one day, "who is the absolute stunner I saw you walking with in the palace gardens the other day? She is a ten, Old Man. An absolute ten."
My hackles rose. I immediately felt protective of Celestia. While I enjoyed the talks Discord and I had, I can't say I trusted him completely and now I had someone else to worry about. Then I said, rather stupidly, "what do you want with the Princess?"
Discord laughed at me.
"And here I was labouring under the impression that all Royalty were inbred uglies.The Princess? That's who that is? "
"Yes, that's who that is. And you best stay away from her."
"Why?"
I thought about this. Discord hadn't displayed any malice towards me apart from mild banter. Why did I want him to stay away from her? Was it because I didn't know him? Was it because his magic was foreign to me? Both reasons seemed almost rude to say out loud after our rather civil conversations about magic.
"It's complicated," I said pathetically.
Discord gave me a look that could only be described as "challenge accepted."
I don't know how it happened, because Celestia never talked to me about it after it ended, but Discord began meeting with her in secret.
I later learnt Discord had climbed in through her window. The guards hadn't noticed because Celestia, being a Princess, had told them to take the afternoons off. They never questioned her.
At first I thought I should turn a blind eye to it; two young people with urges, I mean...it was perfectly healthy, and Discord, while a bit rough around the edges, didn't seem to be a bad person. But of course, I didn't count on how serious it was going to get.
Celestia, being a Princess, was expected to marry royalty herself. Discord was not royalty. I know it sounds strange now, but mares in those days had a lot less freedom when it came to these sorts of things than ponies like yourself now do. Discord was becoming bolder about meeting with Celestia. He no longer had to climb in through her window, and sometimes they would find a corner of the garden and lay in the sunlight together, preening each other. Several of the guards had told me about it. I felt for them both, I really did, but I knew it would hurt Celestia's reputation if she was seen with him. He wasn't a pony, he wasn't royalty and his magic didn't work the way ours did.
I was going to have to have a talk with one of them. I decided to bring it up at my next meeting with Discord.
To my surprise, Discord was surprisingly grumpy when I met up with him. He even looked a bit haggard. Moreso than usual, I mean.
"One two many last night?" I asked.
He snorted and said nothing. His arms were folded and his back was against the trunk of the tree.
I decided to bite the bullet. "Did you and Princess Celestia have a lover's quarrel?"
He stared at me for a beat. "That's rather astute of you, Beardie. How'd you guess?"
It had merely been a guess, but Discord seemed to spend most of his days seeking out Celestia, so I doubted there was much else occupying his mind.
"Because she's all you talk about nowadays? Though I do wish you'd stop making remarks about her flank. That girl is like a daughter to me."
"Ooooh!" Discord held his paw and talon up and wriggled his fingers.
This was going to be harder than I thought. It seemed he could take almost nothing seriously.
"Discord, it's actually Celestia I want to talk about. We need to speak frankly here."
"But not about her flank."
I nodded, trying to humour him. "Yes, not about that. But about things that...may be difficult to hear."
"I'm all ears," said Discord, sprouting several over his body.
"Discord, there are many things about society I may not agree with, but I know need to be done for the good of the nation. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"You've already had this talk with her."
"Yes..."
"So that's where this has come from."
I realized then that Celestia must have gone to him first and told him what I was about to tell Discord. He clearly wasn't very happy about it.
But then he laughed a little. "Well, you know what Beardie? She loves me, so despite your silly, rigid ruleset I doubt she's going to go through with it, because that girl is as stubborn as I am."
"It's not my silly, rigid ruleset. It's what her parents would have wanted."
"What about what she wants?"
"She knows the role she has to fulfill. She's known it since fillyhood. And I hope she finds someone she can actually love when she takes the throne, because not all marriages have love behind them."
"Excuse me, Old Man. But she does actually love me. She doesn't need some rah rah ponce prince boring her with politics and ceremony. She needs adventure."
"And I suppose you're her little adventure," I said wearily.
He grinned at me. "I haven't heard any complaints from the lady."
"That's not what I..."
Despite the fact that he was still up in the tree, his paw was now covering my mouth.
"Now, now Starswirl. You worry too much, and you underestimate Celestia. Sure, she worries that she has to do things for 'the good of the nation' which we know in your world is tantamount to sexual slavery..."
"It is not....!" I began.
He blew a raspberry at me.
"Explain to me how a mare marrying for the good of the nation and not because she loves said stallion is anything but sexual slavery. Or at the very least, sexual bartering."
"It is not like that at all. Both parties go into it with eyes wide open. And if someone isn't a good match, then there need not be an engagement."
"But if someone is a good match, but happens to be a bit of rough, then there's no engagement at all."
"Discord..."
"Hey, no need to explain things, or even try and work us both round to your way of thinking. We love each other so the idea that your little rules are going to interfere with our happiness is laughable at best. I know she'd never do that to me."
Poor Discord. Poor, poor Discord.
This is totally heading for a train wreck, isn't it?
3255164
Ayyyuuup.
Discord and trainwrecks are pretty consistent things.
Interesting viewpoint from Discord on arranged marriage, though I suspect he wouldn't give a flip if it wasn't Celestia.
Ah, Discord. You simultaneously have good luck and bad luck with mares...