Review: The Necromancer's Ambition, by: KuroiTsubasaTenshi · 1:48pm Jul 20th, 2015
Dusky Down just wants to get to where she is going without having to deal with another ‘adventure’. A rogue storm forcing her off her path to take shelter in some middle of nowhere little town was bad enough, but all this talk in the town about some ancient, evil Necromancer in the nearby woods? Not her problem. She is definitely not going to get dragged into a power struggle between corrupt officials, bandits, evil sorcerers, and the undead. Right?
Story: This story makes great use of it’s first-person perspective. Possibly one of the best executed usages of it I’ve seen that isn’t based around the main character narrating the events after the fact. Telling the story of what happened to someone else. Rather simply seeing events as they happened from the main characters perspective. Using it to get a really good feel for Dusky, while at the same time really feeling like it’s her thoughts at the moment, feeling like natural things for her to be thinking about. Especially when it comes to backstory or exposition. Just thinking about some specific event, or having a quick flash of memory, but always in ways that make sense, just focusing on the important part to her, what she would be thinking of, rather then giving the full context. Giving just enough to build some mystery, make the readers even more interested in learning the full story. Saving that for when she’s telling it to somepony else. Not even getting her name for a few chapters till she has to give it to somepony. It all felt really well done, and like we really were inside her head.
And with not making it Dusky retelling the events to somepony, or writing it in a journal, it adds a greater sense of danger, it makes some situations actually tense. Since it’s not a sure thing she would make it, otherwise how would she be retelling the story?
Aside from how well it made use of it’s first pony perspective, there isn’t a whole lot else about the story itself I can comment on. It was well done overall, only one real issue I have with how it went, but that’s about the climax so spoilers for later. The rest are all things better handled in other sections of the review.
Characters: The first person POV gives a chance to really get to know Dusky, and luckily she is an immensely interesting character. Very well rounded, a lot of backstory that is only touched on, yet you can feel weighing on her. She’s a pony that wants to do the right thing, but isn’t always sure what that is. That is all to aware that even the best actions can have consequences. Yet won’t let the stop her from helping somepony in need when she knows about it. But still try to do so in the smartest, least likely to backfire way she can.
Really that idea, exploring when doing the ‘right’ thing will only lead to more suffering or pain. Whether dealing with the consequences of doing what you believe is right are worth it. Is one of the things I enjoyed most about all the characters. All of them have this as a pretty major issue. Dusky being haunted by a past incident, where her doing what she felt was right led to ponies getting killed, and all for almost nothing. Ivory staying to guard the town that shunned, feared, and hated her from threats, rather then simply leaving and going somewhere she could start anew. Earnest giving up on trying to do anything about the corruption in the town, or the hatred of The Necromancer to prevent any backlash against his family. And Blaze being to young to understand this yet. Slowly coming to realize just how disastrous doing something just because you feel it is ‘right’ without actually knowing what is going on, without thinking about the consequences can be. All without being blatant about it. Without shoving it in your face. The only time it really hammered the point was when characters were trying to get Blaze to understand it.
Even beyond that aspect, all of the characters were amazingly well done, incredibly interesting and easy to care about, very believable motivations. Just all around a really well done cast. At least for the protagonists. The antagonists... well one just simply never got any direct focus, but was still interesting in what we did learn. But the other one..... well save that for the spoilers at the end, it’s the same issue as in the story segment.
Engagement: Incredibly high. The story moves almsot seamlessly from one moment to the next, each one with their own ability to grip you to the story. Simply curiosity about what is going on, about wanting to learn more about Dusky, again thanks in part to a really well done usage of the first-person POV. Concern over what is going to happen, needing to see how they are going to get out of danger, everything moves along rapidly enough to never feel bogged down or boring, yet without really feeling rushed either. All with great characters it’s a blast reading about and a story that makes you really want to see where it goes next.
Ponyness: And here we come to the most conflicted bit for me. Just how ‘Pony’ was this? How well do these events fit in Equestria? Amazingly well, and at the same time... feeling off to me. Yet, looking at why, I can’t say, in the least, this wouldn’t almost perfectly fit into the world of the show. Simply that it has a few aspects to it that don’t quite match with how I prefer to view it. Yet, those aspects are ones that actually make me question my own view, rather then seeing them as wrong. Made me reconsider just if this was possible and.. I had to admit.. yeah I could see a lot of this happening in Equestria.
Let’s start with the whole necromancy and Ivory’s shunning and exile from her home. It’s harsh, it goes against the whole theme of friendship and inclusion. Yet, it is almost literally right out of the show. It’s how the ponies in Ponyville treated Zecora, and they had even less reason for it then the Pasture’s ponies had for Ivory. Ivory actually displayed ‘dark’ powers. Fit the ancient legend of an evil sorcerer, plus you had high ranking, and so likely fairly trusted town officials feeding the flames, reinforcing that view for their own separate reasons. Yeah it does perfectly fit the setting. And the ponies fears about Ivory are entirely believable. Given what they know and have been told. It is a really well done reuse of an idea from the show, casting it in a brand new light and without feeling the least bit redundant. As to the necromancy itself. I really really love how it was handled here. Not ‘dark’ not ‘evil’ in and of itself, simply another type of magic. But with results that others have reason to fear and see as being that way. And Ivory learning it simply to try and help, without even realizing how or why it might be looked down on or feared. Her entire backstory was beautifully tragic and really fit with the setting.
Now the more... conflicted... part for me, the level of corruption in the town. Ponies in charge making deals with bandits? Letting them prey on their own citizens in exchange for helping with the mayor’s schemes? Threatening their own citizen’s like mob bosses if they question things to much? This... it does feel really out of place, it feels wrong. That’s because it isn’t how Equestria should be. Keyword there being ‘should’. No this is not how Equestria should be and yet, I can’t say, at all, that it isn’t something that couldn’t happen. By now it should be obvious I tend to see Equestria in an extremely idealistic light. Yet, it doesn’t men I can’t acknowledge it isn’t perfect. That something like this couldn’t happen. the Mayor siding with the bandits? It makes sense. His plans for the town would help it grow, become larger, more prosperous. But his own petty hatred of Ivory for personal reasons.. that he has likely grown into convincing himself are more then that.. yeah I can see ponies like that. Hell we HAVE seen ponies like that. Just this one managed to get into a position of authority. He’s simply trying to use the bandits to deal with what he sees as a bigger threat then the bandit’s themselves would be.
Then comes the thought “okay, so it makes sense how something like this could get started, but why isn’t it stopped?” Seems like it’s the type of thing that would be taken care of really quick. And t would.. if it was ever found out by ponies that COULD do something. Hell the entire last part of the story is predicated on getting evidence to do just that. Next thought was “But ,why not just take this to the Princess? Surely she’d help and at least investigate? She cares for all her little ponies.” Which is true, and led to more “This should be easier to solve” thoughts, especially with Dusky going to Ponyville. just tell Twilight, and things will get fixed. But, that when even more having to question how I saw the setting kicked in. We are rather spoiled in that respect. The characters we follow in the show, while being just ordinary ponies more or less, are still closer to the Princesses then almost any others. Would be perfectly able to just waltz into Celestia’s room and be all “Yo, Tia what’s up?” (Not that any of them would.. will except maybe Pinkie... also I’d like think Celestia would love it if they did something like that. Enjoy having ponies that treat her as just another pony, as their friend rather then “The Princess”) But regular ponies like Dusky? How would she even get an audience? Celestia and Luna likely hear from so many ponies everyday, what would make Dusky stand out to even make her think she could do that? And, there is only so much the Princesses can oversee. Pasteur is so remote, so small, I have to admit, yeah I could see it easily slipping through the cracks. Just getting overlooked while the corruption remains low key and hidden enough. I do not, in the least like it, something like that is completely out of place in what Equestria should be. Yet, I have to admit, I can’t say it isn’t something that isn’t in place, that doesn’t happen.
The story walks a very fine line there, the corruption just large enough to feel wrong, while being small enough, focused enough, to see how it could be allowed to go on. And if it was just the bandits, I’d not feel so “This REALLY should not be” as I do. It’s the ‘accidents’ to discourage ponies from looking to closely or acting up that pushes it to that level. It’s that one step to far that really makes me uncomfortable. Yet, in a way that makes me question why that is. So, yeah a really really amazing exploration of Equestria in ways that actually made me question how I saw the setting.
Overall: Incredible. There is really very little else I can add to above. This was an incredibly well told story, making excellent usage of it’s choice of a first-pony POV, filled with characters that were all unique, interesting, and engaging. Plenty of mystery, suspense and action all flowing well from one to the other. And a take on the setting that actually made me question my own views on it. There is really only one semi-major issue I have with it. Well two. One, in a bit, the other is also ending related, but more how so much feels left incomplete, so many threads not fully wrapped up. It is a natural stopping point, but it leaves a lot unanswered and feeling incomplete. Or from another way of looking at it, rather then being an incomplete story, it’s a story that leaves things wide open and ready for a sequel... which oh look it does have and the story is so well done, I am eager to keep going and see more. Hopefully the sequel does address some of the loose plot threads. So yes, this was an all around great story that was not only great to read, but actually made me question things.
ENDING SPOILERS!!
Okay so, like I said above, there was one thing in the ending that DID feel off and really could have been done better. The reveal of Shadow Walker and just in general how that character was handled. First the reveal, it came out of nowhere. Yes Shadow walker himself was set up pretty well, the legends, the tales, I am not the least surprised he turned out to be real and showed up. It was how I didn’t like. “Oh this character you’ve never even heard of before just now was really him the whole time!” How he turned out to be this character who had no build up, no hints, it wasn’t some shocking twist that G was really Shadow, because we had almost nothing to go on about G to begin with. It came out of nowhere, there were no hints, no build up, no suspense, no making it seem like maybe he was around just, while his existence was brought up, that he was real and active was not.
Countering this is another reveal that was done really well. Earnest as the pony Ivory had saved years ago. That was a reveal that I saw coming, and was very well handled. Tiny little hints that would be easy enough to overlook if you weren’t genre savvy enough. Just his overall different attitude when talking about “The Necromancer” before we even meet Ivory. As well as being the only pony to refer to “The Necromancer’ as a female. It had subtle set up, it was something if you didn’t catch the hints the first time around, you would see going through again.
Shadow Walker? Just came out of nowhere that he was possessing this character we’d never heard of until that scene. And for what he/she was, was really underused. Didn’t have enough build up for the level of threat he seemed to be, and was just there to give the protagonists a fight they had to really struggle through, while keeping the other townsponies out of it. It kind of felt tacked on the way it was handled, and the one plot point that really felt like it could have been handled better.
Hate to rain on this, since it kinda derails a whole lot of paragraphs, but she actually is recounting it to someone else. The description even sets this up from the get-go. However, Dusky is a bit of a storyteller and that's why the majority of details are kept in the moment. Although, one might notice that she does occasionally lapse into present tense when it comes to certain statements she believes still hold true. I did try to keep who she was telling it to and when as ambiguous as possible, in order to still have that danger that comes with the possibility of the Posthumous Narration trope (which is kind of ill-named, since it also includes characters who are currently dying, not just dead). Sorry, if that lowers your opinion on this at all.
This is something I was a bit uncertain on too, which caused me to waffle a lot on whether or not to put an AU tag on (the sequel has one for certain because it conflicts with part of season 3). However, the season 5 premiere with Starlight Glimmer gave me confidence that I'd made the right choice.
For the record, I do see Equestria ideally, as well. It's one of those things where good is pretty much going to win. Eventually, anyway, and only if it puts in the requisite amount of effort, which may involve having an extraordinary level of patience and foresight. See: taking 1000 years to finally free Luna or even longer to finally bring down Sombra and see justice for the Crystal Empire. Granted, a regular pony wouldn't face situations of such extreme scales, but the general idea is the same.
As I stated in one of my blogs, if I may be so bold as to make a comparison to Star Wars, this is essentially the A New Hope of my story. I likely won't be dividing the overall story into a trilogy, but the gist of it is there. They've struck a hard blow against the establishment, but their force is just too meagre bring the whole thing down at once, so they're left on the run, biding their time. As I mentioned above, good still needs to work hard for its victories, so they will need to spend time making and marshaling additional friends before the thread can end. Rest assured that it won't be a 1000-year campaign, though.
This is a narrative failure on my part, since this wasn't what I wanted to get across. Shadow Walkers aren't a singular character, but it's a broad term, per the legend, for pegasi who do questionable things to be able to wield dark magic. However, like the legend of the Necromancer, it's also filled with incorrect information. As G proves, this isn't limited to a single pony tribe, or even ponies at all. This is probably something I should have had Dusky actively note, rather than bread-crumbing it. Overall, this was meant as a contrast between Ivory's dark (but not inherently evil) powers and the price she paid to do good with them, versus someone selfish, who chose to take and wield dark powers for her own gain. Sorry it didn't come across right. Hopefully, I can write this kind of thread better in the future.
Anyway, thanks for the review. It's really interesting to your impressions talked about at length.
3254861 Hmmm, it really did not feel at all lie she was narrating the story to somepony else. Odd. But still well done.
Regarding the corruption. Oh I very much loved it, and think you got it just right. Yeah this doesn't belong in Equestria, it shouldn't be like this. But that is the whole point. And that it is... makes sense how and why it got that bad and stays that way. Yeah I'm glad you went that way and it really worked out great. So yeah it worked great for all the reasons I already listed.
On the whole sequel thing, that was in no way meant as a criticism in and of itself. Just that, had this been stand alone, just one single story, it would have felt odd, incomplete, and suffered a bit for it. But as just one part of a larger story? It works really well.
And finally with Shadow Walker.... wow I was WAY off. Yeah that really needed to be explained better, I thought G was really the same ancient evil sorcerer Ivory talked about. The one whose legend helped drive the belief in her being evil. Having taken over a Griffon this time. Did find it odd it wasn't what seemed to be a dead body, but figured he'd just worked out a really good way of preserving bodies after all this time. Which made the defeat and lack of larger use feel even more anti-climatic. But, G simply being A Shadow Walker, someone who basically sold their soul for dark power... that does work better. Though yeah could have been explained much better. What you were going for.. I really like the idea. Just could have used some better execution. Still, only real issue I had in an otherwise amazing story.
Glad you liked the review, I LOVED the story, and look forward to getting around to the sequel.