But It's Not Sex... · 11:31pm Jun 12th, 2015
At long last, I'm off for summer and have all the free time in the world to hunt for jobs, write, and practice violin. I'm only a couple weeks into my glorious break, and my sister's already trying to hook me up so I won't be as lonely as I've been the past few summers...
So, she introduces me to this guy named CJ. He's nice and all, but after only meeting him a few times, he's not my kind of guy. He's sort of red-neck like. He dresses in a sloppy fashion, smokes, drinks, and does drugs. He's a year my senior, and I'm not at all attracted to his personality. I mean, we do have some things that connect us, but I honestly can't see myself dating a high school drop out with no promising future ahead of him. My sister (and her boyfriend, John), still insist that I still give him a shot.
Anyway, today he came over. They're still trying to get us together, but CJ and I just kind of talked to one another. Eventually, my sister and her lover strolled into the house and talked to us. John suggested that CJ let me give him a "smiley". I didn't know what that was, but I was quickly introduced to the idea of heating up a lighter until it was hot enough to leave a "smiley" on someone's skin. I kind of agreed, and after heating up the lighter, I held down CJ's arm and pushed the metal end into his skin. I could feel his arm wriggling as pushed it in. It made me feel powerful and strong. Eventually, he told me to stop, and the scar was made.
Quickly, John teased CJ about how he enjoyed the pain, or how he enjoyed the burn. He went on about about how he liked being hurt, "especially in bed." That line caught my attention, and my sister almost immediately started teasing my sadistic side. I was uncomfortably blushing and trying to just laugh off the situation. Then, the question came up.
"So, would you ever experiment with CJ?"
I instantly blushed. I didn't know how to answer the question. My tongue searched for some kind of answer, but I found nothing.
"He loves pain," John, who was a close friend of CJ, commented. "If you wanted to burn him or spank him, or beat him, or whatever, he'd totally let you."
CJ, who's very opened about his sexuality, slyly commented about how he'd go for it. He then told me about all his odd and end fetishes. Turns out, we had far more in common than I first expected. I was still hesitant on the matter.
"I don't know... I really, I mean... I-I've never done anything sexual, and I really don't want to lose my virginity yet."
"But it's not sex..." My sister commented. "Just tie him up or whatever. I'm sure he'd still love it."
Even CJ told me I wouldn't be loosing my virginity, as we wouldn't actually have sex. While I was still unsure about it, I felt so curious and so excited about the whole thing. Of course I want to experiment with my fetishes. I'd love to. The idea makes me super excited. I've always told myself that if someone would just let me spank them, I would totally go for it without hesitation. However, now that I'm being offered the opportunity to partake in my desires, I've become confused. Whenever I think about experimenting with CJ, I can't help but love the idea. I do want it. This odd connection has even manipulated me into seeing the boy in a different light. I've become oddly attracted to him. I've started to think more about him, and I hate it. I hate the idea of wanting to do these things, but I do! I would gladly take up the opportunity, but at the same time it feels wrong. It can be exciting, arousing, and intriguing to think about, but I'm still so young, and it wouldn't be of love. I'm now in a battle between my teenage hormones and my morals. I'd simply like some advice. I know it's something I ask for quite a bit, but it's something I need. I'm young, I'm inexperienced, and I don't want to make stupid decisions. The fact that my love and my lust have been stolen by two different people is confusing, and I haven't the slightest idea what to do.
Thank you very much for reading, and I'd absolutely love any advice I can get on the situation. It's extremely exciting for me to meet someone with the same sexual interest, and I'd LOVE to partake in mine, but I don't know how this could effect me if I do. I just don't feel right about it.
-Pizzema Forte
I honestly wouldn't do it. With the kind of things he's doing and the type of person he is, things could go VERY far downhill. It really depends what kind of drugs he's doing, but I wouldn't go for it. It's not worth it ;-;
What about him? He has something he wants to try on you? Perhaps in exchange? Think carefully, the more "unusual" something is, the more it may cost.
I use HEAVY quotation marks.
This reminds me of Fifty Shades of Grey, as odd as that sounds. I doubt it will be as fanfaric or end as dramatically as in the movie, but it will nonetheless end with a distinct lack of happiness or enjoyment.
Doesn't sound like you want someone who smokes, drinks, dresses sloppily, is redneck-ish, etc., to partake in your fetish with you. Whatever BS this John guy or your sister try to sneak in to get you to commit to something you wouldn't enjoy with someone you don't care about, I'd say give it a pass. Just because it's your fetish doesn't mean you'll end up sharing it with any random person. Sure, it turns you on, but it's not who you want to give that to. It's not sex, but it still feels like... like you're sharing something precious with him, something that should be saved for someone you love.
I just get the feeling that, if you start down that road, a week later he will have your virginity. It starts with tying him up, but then he starts to use that as leverage, making you feel guilty for not giving anything in return. Eventually, you give it up, and you can never get it back.
Wait until you can experiment with someone you actually care about. He's only remotely attractive, as far as I can tell, because you've convinced yourself that not enough people in the world are masochistic. I assure you that it's not as rare as you might think, and you shouldn't lower your standards for this guy just because he's okay with being tied up and hit a little with the promise of sex later on.
That's my take on it, at least. The way you describe him makes him sound like the guys my sister is into, and they're all losers. You don't want to give a loser any enjoyment, imo. Fie on me for becoming emotionally invested here.
There are two kinds of people in a relationship, there are sly foxes and curious cats. No matter which one you are, the other is always your best friend, someone you can trust, no matter what. Believe me when I say this, all it takes is for someone to bite down on your dick(that's an expression).
My first girlfriend was my best friend since we were six years old, we met in primary school(I think that's elementary for you americans), and were best friends from then on. When I turned 12, we had our first kiss behind the garage at my old home. I thought for sure her family would kill me if they ever found out. Luckily everything turned out okay, we started dating at 15, things got more serious and she let me touch her boobs(Score!).
Fast forward 2 years, we both agreed: "Alright, this is it, let's do the horizontal funk." After that we were inseparable, she wanted my dick at least once or twice a week.
Boom! I hit 19 years old, we'd grown more and more distant over the years. One night while we're cuddling, watching I think an episode of LOST, she turns to me and says: "Chris, you know we can't keep this up, right?" I just planted a kiss on her forehead and said: "Don't worry, we'll figure something out."
Then we split, is was the most painful thing I'd ever felt in my chest. People always joke about a broken heart, put the pain is real. So being the sly fox I am, I moved on looking for something else. While we were still the best of friends, she wasn't my only friend. Her younger sister who was 2 years younger than us started hitting on me really strong like. We'd always been friends, but my mind wanted to have what I had with Kayla with her sister Stacey. Boy what a crazy ride that was! (my first blowjob, my first three-way, first time anal. NICE!) Although I never told her I loved her, she never let me forget that she loved me.
So that's my messed up life, I think I vered so far off topic this could been its own blog. So here I am, after a night of drinking shots of whisky that cost as much as some people make in an entire month, sitting down at 10:35 in the morning, red bull cans strewn about my dining table, cause I'm too lazy to buy a desk, writing on a fucking fictional story site for My Little Pony... TV Networks could make a reality show about my messed up life and make millions.
I'm a Sly Fox, thinking about which of my three cars I'm going to drive today.
I'm still waiting to meet my Curious Cat, you know when they are the one. If a Curious Cat is satisfied they will always come back.
But you know, I hope you make the right choice.
3143096 Awe, thanks a lot for that!
I know I'm young, but I have convinced myself that there aren't many (male) masochists in the world. I often times feel weird about my sexual desires. I feel as though they are strange, and people I love will look down on me for having them when I get into the world. This happened recently, and I've constantly been thinking about it. When I first found out my desires weren't normal, I became very self-conscious about them. I suppose someone who was just so opened about it all made me a bit excited. Simply knowing that I can partake makes me really happy, but I still feel as though I can't do it. I won't let myself.
Around an hour ago, my sister, her boyfriend, and CJ all wondered into my house. John and my sister all encouraged us to kiss, date, and whatever. I remember them telling me, "Stop being such a virgin," "Where's your sense of adventure?", and "Maybe you just need to open up your mind." John even told me I should use CJ as my little "test dummy."
I am excited to try my desires out, but I have always wanted them to be with someone I have a strong connection with. I do feel uncomfortable that they're trying to peer-pressure me into dating this guy, when in all honesty, I don't find him attractive. It's sometimes hard to reassure myself that there are other people out there like me, and that not all opportunities are worth taking advantage of. Don't get me wrong, CJ's rather nice. He's a weirdo, but he's sweet and is really funny. The main reason my sister initially wanted me to get with CJ is so he could have a distraction from his drug addiction, but that's honestly not something I want to be held responsible for.
Thanks a lot for the advice and the comment. Most of what you said is where my morals stand. I'm just afraid it'll become difficult for me to control myself not only under the peer-pressure, but because he does share some common "interests" with me. My sister even started telling me that it'd be difficult for me to even find someone who'd let me do what I want with them, so I should just take the opportunity while I had it.
So, yeah, thanks a lot for reassuring me. It makes me feel better to know that my sister and "brother" are probably wrong, and I shouldn't feel so hard on myself over this. Thank you very much. This actually helped a lot.
I dont think it would be worth it. From what you've described him as, he might have an ulterior motive. You may want to go on a date or two to appease your sister, and see where it goes from there
The only useful thing that come to mind is this:
Do Nothing with someone you don't fully trust; and it doesn't sound like you trust him enough to try things out.
3143088
Very Yes.
Just gonna say it...I didn't think about 'cost' when I was a teenager and years later I'm not a fan of the choices I made.
Breathe.
3143352
One thing I can't help but remark on, though:
There's a few things I want to remark on, but I get the feeling you don't really want to carry this on much. I'm pretty sure I got my point across.
No, no, a thousand times no. A person to date/bang/take your mind off your drug addiction is a horrible idea. What kind of person is your sister? She's basically throwing you into the worst relationship I can conceive of--though, I admit I can see a certain rationale. More on that in a bit.
This guy cares about drugs more than he cares about the person he's dating, as his priorities dictate. If he was addicted to anything and didn't kick it of his own free will, nothing will ever get between him and his addiction later. I guarantee he will relapse no matter what you say or do.
A coworker of mine who is far wiser than I told me, "The only way to cure a friend's drug addiction is to let them hit rock bottom." Rehab doesn't work, placebos don't work, nothing works except the person finally telling themselves, "Enough is enough," and stopping themselves. You would, at the absolute best, be a temporary "cure" for his addiction, but as soon as things got slightly boring for him, he would be back at whatever it was he was already doing before all this started--with a near-100% guarantee of that relapse.
Until he gives himself a life again, that drug is all he has. Addiction will never be cured by another person; the only person who will cure him is himself.
Now, I understand your sister has good intentions, but she will destroy your life as a consequence of this. I would not hold it against her... but you will never cure CJ's addiction, ever. No one can except him. Until he ends it for good and no longer needs things to distract him from what he knows he wants, you're absolutely wasting your own life, letting it circle the same drain he's circling. Your sister thinks she's killing two birds with one stone: She's getting her sister laid, and she's helping a friend stay away from drugs. Neither of those is a desirable outcome because the former is going to ruin something you've managed to hold on to and the latter is most assuredly not going to happen.
Damn it... I wanted this to be a short message.
Sorry for the text wall.
The answer to the age old question of Love or Lust is something all must face at least once in their life. Most of the time, they face it at the age you are now.
My advice, is a painful and difficult one to listen to: Wait on Love. Lust is like straw in a fire, and though it will burn bright for a few seconds, that's all it shall ever do.
If I were you, I'd wait for your Prince Charming, no one should ever settle when it comes to true Love.
Drugs and a masochistic need for pain. Is it really good for you?