Monsters - A Retrospective [Part 1] · 2:03am May 9th, 2015
NOTE: Full and unblocked spoilers ahead
It’s funny, looking back now on the beginning, that this story became what it did. I started out wanting to write a short, straightforward action/adventure story, and before I knew it, it had grown significantly more than I had ever expected. I decided to write up a bit of a retrospective, for those who may be interested in it, to kind of go over the origins and ideas and just what I was thinking when I wrote this story.
Presentation
First of all, the title. Monsters isn't the most creative name, I'll admit, and for a while when I was writing the first rough drafts of the first few chapters it was just a placeholder. But over time, it seemed to fit and I decided to keep it.
If I have a regret about this story, I would say that it's the art for it. I made the cover image myself using a scroll template and just adding the list. Again, it was just meant to be a placeholder. There were a few times when some friends were working on a more specific and catchy image, but unfortunately real life intervened and they were never able to finish. I debated asking one of the fandom's many great artists for a commissioned piece, but I just never got around to it. I wish now that I had done so, I think one of the main reason that this story didn't get a lot of attention is the lackluster cover image. (Although that maybe be a bit too narcissistic of me)
Overall concept
The idea came to me soon after the episode “A Matter of Time.” I, like many others (including the show writers themselves), wondered what if something had escaped from Tartarus during Cerberus’ absence. Keeping with the Greek mythology of the show, I searched for a suitable monster. It didn’t take me long to land on the Chimera, since at the time it had not been used yet, and for a few other reasons which I’ll go into more later (obviously, the episode “Somepony to Watch Over Me” changed this. I got around that problem with Twilight’s explanation about the difference between a chimera and the Chimera). So really, the Chimera came first, and the rest of the story evolved from it.
The Guards
I think a lot of people assume that I simply harvested Belle's name from Sweetie Belle, but actually her name is my first (very obscure, I admit) foreshadowing of what the monster is. In mythology, the Chimera was killed by the hero Bellerophon, which I simply shortened to Belle. For her full name, I wanted to keep with the standards of Equestria, so I thought it might be amusing to call her after the belladonna, hence the name Donna Belle (a name she hates).
I must admit, the idea to have the story told from a guard’s perspective was heavily influenced by Sir Terry Pratchett’s City Guards in his Discworld series. There are some characters that might share some similarities (for example, Sgt. Oak Root is similar to a less-naïve Carrot Ironfounderson), but I did my best to make my pony guards their own unique characters. I'll talk more about the individual guards later on.
Dock
The town of Dock was quite literally a happy accident. I knew that I wanted a town that relied heavily on trade for income, and while looking for a suitable pun, I discovered the anatomical term ‘dock,’ and it was too perfect to pass up. One of the reasons I decided to make it a dying town was to specifically counter the heavy focus that the show puts on the Friendship Express. Obviously, they do it to sell the toys, but I wanted to briefly explore just what such a system would do, what kind of negative side effects there would be. I originally had hoped to have the town itself almost feel like a character itself, but as I wrote, it never quite panned out the way I hoped.
Tone
I received some flak for how I started the story, with the murder of the two foals, and perhaps I deserved it, but I felt it was necessary. It was both a spark for Belle, a driving force to really motivate her and give her strength, especially later on; and it was also a way to show that this was going to handle some darker topics. I even debated including a ‘dark’ tag to the story, and in fact I did have one for a short time, but ultimately I removed it. I had marked it as a teen story, and I had read much worse in teen stories before. Maybe I could have done it differently, but it fit the story and I stand by it.
Foreshadowing
As I said, this story didn’t start out as a mystery, but rather as a straight action/adventure, but by the end of the second chapter, I knew it had become a mystery. The main reason, really, is because I’m a big fan of foreshadowing. I tried to pepper in as much foreshadowing as I could, along with a few red herrings (for example, the shadow that Belle sees in the first chapter on her way to the fire was not the Chimera, since it had been led into the tunnels by Atë at this point, it was just a shadow). I realized that these clues I was leaving were just that: clues. I decided that having Belle follow them made for a better story.
The Chimera
I did a lot of research before deciding just what the Chimera would look like. There have been so many different depictions and interpretations, some with all three heads at the front, some with a goat lower half and snake tail, some with two heads in front, some even with wings. I chose the one that I was most familiar with and I felt fit the best: lion head and front half, dragon rear half with a dragon’s head at the end of the tail, and a goat’s head rising out of the back (I personally enjoyed making the goat head a fairly dumb creature). I also liked the idea of giving it a personality instead of having be little more than a monstrous animal. Having the predominant mind be that of a dragon cursed by Discord seemed to fit, and it gave extra drama to the fight between the Chimera and Celestia.
In most of the myths, the Chimera was immortal and usually impervious to weapons, so making it immune to magic seemed like a natural progression, plus it added a much larger element of danger. In the most common myth, Bellerophon killed the Chimera by tying a lump of lead to his spear and shoving it down its throat. And he did it while riding Pegasus. Perfect.
Eris
As much as I liked the Chimera as a villain, there had to be someone else to instigate everything. The Chimera couldn’t ship himself to Dock after all. Eris (the Spirit of Chaos) seemed like a decent choice, but in some ways it was too obvious, especially with a character like Eris (the pony), so obviously there. I included Eris the pony as a bit of a red herring, but I tried to do it in such a way that people would be suspicious of her from the get go and so let their guard down. In a way, she wasn’t a red herring since Eris the pony really is Eris the spirit, just locked away, she just wasn’t the person behind the Chimera. Maybe I got a bit too clever with this, I hope it wasn’t confusing.
In my headcanon, Eris, the Spirit of Chaos, couldn’t even be bound in a normal way by the Elements of Harmony. So instead of being locked away in a static form, like a statue, she was locked away into something living. As to how she escaped from Celestia’s guard and ended up in Dock, almost right under Celestia’s nose… well, that’s another story.
Atë
So, who to have as the villain behind everything? I actually wasn’t sure for a while when planning the story out. I toyed with a few minor Greek deities, but none really fit or had the proper motivation. But then I found Atë and it all clicked (I still remember the exact moment when it all fell into place. I almost shouted out, but that would have freaked out the other Barnes & Noble patrons). In mythology, Atë is the daughter of Eris and was the Spirit of Folly, Delusion, and Ruin. By putting Eris and Discord together, Atë became the perfect offspring, and she fit perfectly into place as the villain. I wanted her presence to be mostly just hinted at until the very end, and for her to act as more ‘behind-the-scenes’ type bad guy.
I know that the confrontation and fight, if you can call it that, at the end of the last chapter wasn’t overly exciting, especially compared to the more epic battle against the Chimera in the previous chapter. Honestly, I didn’t want it to be that big of a fight, I worried that it might have been a bit too much. Besides, I wanted to give Em her time to shine, and it seemed appropriate for her to have a very brief, almost subdued, moment that saves the day.
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I don’t want this to get too long, so I’ll cut it off now, and I’ll work on a second part. I hope you all have enjoyed this behind the scenes look at Monsters.
... Okay, I'm an idiot... I totally missed the (Belle)rophan naming connection.....
Did see a lot of the other stuff coming, the lead being shoved down it's throat, and the cat being the true villain. (It was so nasty, made sure to make it smart and cruel, even beyond a cat, Eris seemed like SUCH an obvious target for being behind it all, it was too perfect, to obvious. Though thought the Cat was really the mythical Eris or something like that.)
Hmmm, yes definitely, as I said already, got a Discworld City Watch vibe from the guards and the overall feel of the story, and in the best possible way.
Ohhhh so much to talk about in review.. gotta stop just piecemealing it.
Okay one minor thing that did kind of sit wrong with me brought up, sort of, in this blog, is the distinction between Eris and Discord. Now the actual distinction between Chaos, and Disharmony, that I like and it makes sense, but given what we heard of Eris, and what we know of Discord, those two appellations really feel like hey should be swapped. Discord really is more about Chaos, just doing things for the lulz, simply out to amuse himself. Not malicious, just, doesn't give a shit about others. While Eris feels more like one that would go right out for malicious, disharmony. So, struck me as odd.
Rest, this was prety interesting to read and would love some more.
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This blog was way cool to read. I loved Monsters.
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Thanks for reading, I look forward to reading your review
The issue with Eris vs. Discord is that, in the show so far, there isn't actually an Eris to give us a proper comparison, and the fact that in Greek mythology there's only Eris (ironically named Discordia by the Romans), who is the spirit of chaos and discord, but there was no separate entity named Discord. I agree that in reality, Discord fits chaos (less malicious, more random) better than disharmony (which is more malicious), but it made sense at the time I wrote it to make Eris more malicious, since it had already been established that Discord was less malicious and more doing it for his own amusement. Ultimately, I think it works well enough for this story, but if I did it again, perhaps I would make it different, such as calling Eris the Spirit of Strife instead of Chaos.