Dawn's Fury or, Vengeance of Dawn Rewritten · 3:36pm May 4th, 2015
I told you I'd start making updates again some time in May and I did.
I've been talking for about a year now, or perhaps even more, about my desire to rewrite Vengeance of Dawn. Although I remain very proud of my first successful story on fimfiction, I won't deny that Vengeance has its problems: Dawn was too cruel and too villainous, some of the canon characters are poorly served in terms of their presentation, and there are a few plot holes, particularly in the second half, that I tried to deal with by barrelling through with story, but that didn't entirely work.
Dawn's Fury is not a straight rewrite in that it does not tell exactly the same plot. A lot of the same ideas are there, but they also incorporate ideas I thought of later and wished that I'd put in: so in this version, Dawn and Sunset Shimmer knew each other well, and Sunset plays a big role in this story (being less OOC villainous than she is in Comes the Sunset), as does her relationship with Dawn (here called Dawn Starfall, rather than Breaking Dawn). I might even make this a SunsetxOC ship fic, I haven't quite decided yet. I've also used the Equestria Girls setting to bring in Sunset and Dawn's human doppelgangers from the other side of the mirror.
So, yeah, I know that a lot of you like Vengeance so please check this out, and if you gave up on it partway through then give this a try as well because I'm hoping to improve on what came before.
A couple of sneak peaks to whet your appetite:
"Princess Celestia, where's Sunset? Isn't she coming?"
Dawn Starfall stood in the centre of the carpet like a lost puppy, looking up at Princess Celestia, who stood with her back to Dawn, looking out over the night-shrouded city of Canterlot.
"Sunset won't be joining us," Celestia said, her voice clipped, her tone solemn.
"Is she sick?" Dawn asked. "Is that why I haven't seen her all day?"
Celestia hesitated. "No, Dawn. Sunset is not ill. Or at least, not in the way that you mean. She has...gone away."
"When's she coming back?" Dawn asked.
Celestia bowed her head. "I fear that she will not return from where she has gone."
Dawn blinked for a moment, thinking of how empty the dorm she shared with Princess Celestia's other student would be now that she had it all to herself. Who would push her to get better, without Sunset's infuriating example to drive her? Who would make fun of her when she made mistakes, and so encourage her to make fewer mistakes in future? Whose mockery would prickle, whose example would guide her, who would understand when she talked about what her day had been like. Who would she fight with every day until she couldn't fight any more? Who would she best, in the end, in the contest for greatness?
Who would be her rival now?
"She didn't even say goodbye," Dawn murmured. "I don't understand."
Celestia sighed. "I pray you never will."
The seer leaned in, and Twilight caught a glimpse of two sightless eyes boring into her from out of the shadows of the hood before the seer whispered in her ear. "They are coming for you, princess: the rising and the setting sun, the dragonslayer and the black flame, the raven and the glimmering star. I have seen them in the fires and in the smoke. I have seen them in my dreams, and darker things besides. They come for you, and seek your fall."
"I mean, that's me? That's weird. I mean really weird. Like, even after I met the two of you I wouldn't have believed it weird. Weirder than the fact that I'm a horse. And sad too. I mean look at how pathetic I was. That's me? Other Me sucks."
I disagree about Dawn being too villainous in the last one, but I will read and enjoy this nonetheless.
I don't think making Dawn's Fury a SunsetxOC story is a good idea, if it makes any difference.
Is Comes the Sunset still canon to Dawn's Fury?
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No, Comes the Sunset is the sequel to Vengeance. Fury is going to go somewhere different.