Contest project, day five: Change! New direction on! · 1:29am Feb 6th, 2015
People, I would like to talk you about a change of direction I'm taking.
At first, I took the prompt "it's impossible" in a very classical way; creating an inescapable situation where the characters couldn't win, at all. It's an actually valid way to see the prompt and it's been perfected since the ancient Greece with pieces like the Odyssey.
But I forgot something about the Odyssey.
Odysseus never surrendered to fate or the gods. In fact, the guy literally fought even death itself, AND HE WON! Odysseus wanted to go back to his homeland, the entire existence told him it was impossible. He made it possible.
So, in my personal way to pay respect to one of the original BADASS! here's the new motto for this project:
Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb!
Well, with that said, this is also the last opportunity I'm giving to Ponies and Robots Wars to be the fic for the contest. If this doesn't work now, I'm going to start everything from zero.
This is a set up chapter, kinda like Morpheus narration in The Matrix (the good one) or like Dr. Serizawa's (kinda shorta) dialogue in Godzilla (the good one). Or at least it's how I'm envisioning the chapter. The music it's a big part of the feeling I'm trying to establish, so turn your sound system up to eleven and listen while you read.
Also, it's only the first half, establishing the situation as impossible. The second one (to be written), will be about doing the impossible.
Okay, Ponies and Robots Wars, Chapter two, take #2 (I'm learning the way of the Kubrick), aaaaand action!
http://www.fimfiction.net/chapter/716357
password: rowrowfightthepower
Damn dawg...Respect. Fuck Fate...Fuck the imposssible.
Ok, first off, it seems like you are focusing on the main topic. That being "it's impossible." There is nothing wrong with that. However, I would advise you not to spend entire paragraphs on it. Throw in some character development and lengthy descriptions of the place around the reader. Hope this helps.
Read the chapter. VERRY nice start! I look forward to seeing how this progresses.
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Now I just need to find a pony hotblooded enough to be a worthy equivalent of Kittan.
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Actually, that's kinda the point. Twilight is literally on the verge of a heroic blue screen of death, and her narrative is unfocused and hopeless because that's how she's feeling.
The actual scene, with descriptions and characters is what's coming next. It would be on the same style of my previous fic Mazinger Trixie vs Getter Dash.
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Maybe, but at least you have to admit that Matrix basically built the modern version of the action movies genre.
Good luck tomorrow.
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Glad you liked it. A little preview is: A pony will have to decide, die trying to win or let a whole city die.
nice start , really nice , keep it this way for another chapter to show how much of a deep shit they're in and it should be good
oh and you're going to hate for this :
i'd be really curious to hear the tales of those heroes in a side chapter, you write the changelings so well
their desperate fight against an invincible enemy
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I think I stretched the "bringers of doom" enough by this point, more and it would be a little overkill. With that said, I think a good portion could go to the ponies' multiple attempts to defend themselves and failing.
Actually, I got nothing special planed for the changelings, only that they were 300 praetorians, fighting to the last
manequinearthropod. They all looked at death incarnated, the destroyer of worlds gazing down at them. Vut they never cowered in fear, they gazed back, defying death with insolence and embracing their fates by giving their lives for those who they swore to protect.(Thank you Alan Moor and Frank Miller)
2774407 we'll never forget those courageous bugs
even if one manage to scratch the enemy to show that those monrers arent invincible
It's a good story. I see potential, and it's in the early stages of development. However, I feel like you are telling me a story, if you know what I mean.
Read the Mare in the High Castle somewhere on Fimfiction. It'll give you an idea of how you can make me live the story, rather than tell it to me.
I want to see Twilight hunched over at the desk, writing her Apocalypse Log. I want to see her rub her hooves into her temples, tired of the war, tired of fighting, tired of everything.
I want to hear the crackle of chitin and the buzzing of wings, and see the waves upon waves of Changlings covering the land like so many locusts. I want to taste the fear in the air as Chrysallis approaches Celestia, and feel the tension in the air as Princess Twilight Sparkle takes in a sharp breath.
I want to hear the harmonious cacophony that all true stallions make on the eve of battle.
The only way to do this is atmosphere, which takes time to develop. Since you've chosen Twilight as your storyteller, I'm sure she'll be there for all the big things, and when she isn't there...well, we all know how much she worries about EVERYTHING. On top of that, each paragraph could easily be made into a chapter all by itself, which means you're off to a good story board. All you need to do now is spring off of it.
Like a wise guy once said when he jumped off a twenty story building: "So far, so good."
So far, so good!
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Tsss, yeah, about that.
I recently realized that, even if the story has potential, the setting and prime intention behind it clashes against the prompt of the contest, badly.
So, even tough I'm keeping what I got for the next chapter of Ponies and Robot Wars, I'm not going to use it for the contest. This comes mostly because every time I make a change for the prompt's sake, I have to sacrifice something from the original idea, to the point where it's not even close of what I wanted to do with the story.
In conclusion, Ponies and Robots Wars is not going to the "it's impossible" contest, but I deeply appreciate your suggestions which I'm going to apply to the chapter once I'm done with the contest.
P.S.: If you're still feeling like helping a guy with a subatomic attention spam, I'm brainstorming in my last blogpost.
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Sure, I'll listen to a brainstorm.