Update Complete! · 6:56am Nov 30th, 2014
So, I think I'm finally done with book one. I wouldn't wish that job on anyone. I have no problem editing a single chapter or reworking a scene, but doing a complete overhaul of a 40k word story is hard. It's even harder when you've done a complete rewrite for a fourth time now. I added a little over 5k words to the last edit which had actually taken the story down to 36k. It now stands at around 42k.
To touch on a few points, I figure a little guidance could help steer people through a second read.
To begin, the first six chapters got cut down into three. The whole dream sequence with Luna got rewritten and actually starts the book off. The transition into the library got redone, and the meeting with the Princesses got changed—basically, it's a lot different. Same basic plot, but we're running down a different track now.
Next, I took the entire back half of the book and fixed it up with a real purpose in mind. No more jumping from one thing to the next without ever bringing it up again. Every point traveled has an impact and it comes back around to it in the end—not just the end of the book, but the climax of the story.
I made sure and tied the rest of the Mane Six into the flow as well. The story is about Twilight in the end, as the whole trilogy revolves around her, but the rest of her friends needed something to do besides decorate the walls. I feel good that I was able to work a new scene back into the story which I originally cut out of my first draft even before I finished it. I knew I wanted it in there since it has ties to the G1 movie, but I couldn't find a way to make it fit—that's changed.
Characterization made a turn as well - Fluttershy especially got some love. The attitude change makes her feel much more like the pony we all know and love from the show. I hope her new-found kindness tugs at some heartstrings.
I was sitting in my tub the other day when the whole G1 movie was running through my head. Originally, the Rainbow of Light is defeated easily by the Smooze. Only after the Flutter Ponies come help does the story have a happy ending. I wanted to keep the same parallel in this version, but I couldn't bring myself to introduce a whole new race of pony akin to the awful Breezies. The idea struck me that I could use a bit of word play to my advantage. Check out the story and see for yourselves how it plays out. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Overall, I feel really good about the updates. The story works much better now on the whole. I think anyone reading it for a second time is going to find a whole new book with a much better flow.
Give it a read when you have a moment, and let me know what you think. I can't wait to hear the feedback.
—Thornwing
Well, I guess I'm going to have to read it again. To the books!