R4 (Reactions, Reviews, Reference, Redirection) #0017

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Here are five slightly edited old reviews:
The Rustic And The Romantic by TheLastBrunnenG
Two Cups of Tea by Absolute Anonymous
A Writer’s Lament by Absolute Anonymous
Night Guards by Raugos
The Sisters Doo by Ponky

The Rustic and The Romantic by TheLastBrunnenG
(story link) (my original review)

The start was a bit weak, was hoping the relationship would take longer to build. Pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before, but this was one of the first stories I noticed that I was reading more average fanfics. One of the troubles of being so far behind on posting as I read things. I still haven’t run into any bad stories yet. Just one that was dull enough that I didn’t quite finish it.

Best part of this story was the chapters that were Twilight Sparkle’s journal entries on planning the wedding. Here the lack of detail that is the story’s big weakness turns into strength instead. It implies things rather than just making the lack of them obvious.

This is in the same continuity as the other story of this author I’ve read where Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna hook up and get married. The author is pretty good at emotional moments, but not always so it turns out a bit uneven. The author just needs more practice to get the good parts more regularly.

Two Cups of Tea by Absolute Anonymous
(story link) (my original review)

Sad and well written. Another snapshot moment between two ponies. This is a story I would point the previous story’s author at as an example of slow building emotions. Need to take the Rarity from this who is hiding romantic feelings for Fluttershy and match her up with the Fluttershy from That’s Lovely who has hidden romantic feelings for Rarity.

A Writer’s Lament by Absolute Anonymous
(Story has been removed) (my original review)

Same author as previous. Really good short piece about writing and being an author. Some of what it has to say is made even stronger by being said in a for-free piece of fan fiction. Plus the author nailed Rainbow Dash perfectly. Once again I’m reminded of the fandom opinion I ran into a while back about the idea that Rainbow Dash and Applejack got each other’s element of harmony. Rainbow Dash should totally be honesty. First story I read that has a connection to Daring Do other than just mentioning the stories in passing.

Night Guards by Raugos
(story link) (my original review)

Very good. Think this will be my baseline for how the events of Nightmare Moon’s banishment plays out. Lots of interesting worldbuilding bits in this story. It is a really good look at how good intentions and desperation and loneliness can lead to horrible events.

I liked the idea that Celestia tried to purify her sister first to remove the Nightmare from her, but was not powerful enough to manage it right then. So banishment to the moon was the last resort of desperation. The addition of Discord was also very well done. Not only showing he can influence things subtly if he wants, but demonstrating that he can never truly be completely contained. Fitting for a spirit of Chaos.

Also a good exploration of loyalty and duty. Just what happens when the two concepts end up working at cross-purposes. I think the story could have used a bit more slice-of-life scenes exploring the various characters pre-Nightmare Moon, but the story itself was paced very well.

The Sisters Doo by Ponky
(story link) (my original review)

Derpy/Ditzy clashes a bit with the one I’ve got in my head. That isn’t a dealbreaker for the story, just a little nitpick that kept me from getting fully immersed for part of the story. In addition, the story just has too much meanness. It made the whole thing feel much less MLP to me. MLP has evil, incompetence, arrogance, anger, but there is almost no outright meanness except as major episode plot-points. The stuff with Pinkie Pie is a minor distraction as well. Story would be a lot tighter without it, even with the side story that focuses it on that. I think it would have been better keeping them as entirely separate stories. The Cutie Mark Crusader stuff is a bit distracting, but not nearly as much and it actually ties back into the main plot near the end.

In spite of all those annoyances I thought this was a very good story. Wavered in and out of MLP territory for my tastes, but that’s not a complaint against the quality of the writing. Not sure I like the alicorns in this, my personal headcanon versions of those seems much more interesting. I’d have made the new alicorns that showed up in this one some other immensely powerful mythological creature in pony form. Maybe actually have them be some kind of pony version of Jinn given the kingdom the story ends up focusing around. Dinky was pretty much just a plot device at the end. Which was a shame because she was a pretty good character up until that point.

Just recently reread this one and it still holds up. The flaws are still there, but so is the core quality story at the heart of it.

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