Rage Thoughts: A Heart in a Dark · 9:05pm Sep 5th, 2014
Okay, so I read this a while back when it was in the featured box. However, back then, my libido was high, and my standards low. However, looking back on it, I now see why people hate self insert OCs. I especially hate it when they're named Fluttershy. Let's begin, A Heart in the Dark!
So what happens:
I have to start here, if not jsut because this summary takes almost no time. Here is what happens in the fic. Fluttershy finds a dying (she even asks him not to die) changeling and brings him in. After some medical treatment, she lets him sit for the night. In the morning, they eat fruit. The Changeling (named Basil) is very good at convincing the shy and timid Fluttershy into eating the fruit with him, from him. He goes onto message her with the line "You taste good... you feel better." Oh yeah, he also licked her. It soon degenerates to kind gentle psuedo tentacle screwing as Basil continues to compliment Fluttershy, and she reacts to it as any shy girl. "Your such a flatterer." Those are direct quotes btw. In the end, they fall asleep , and another changeling comes by to pick up Basil. After getting to see Flutter's naked body because Basil literally tore her clothes off, the two leave and the fic ends. Wait, FLUTTERSHY DID WHAT?
Fluttershy
No. Sorry, that title needs to be changed.
Character with butterfly's on her bum in (though never said) the most extreme case of heat, ever.
No, I'm not even kidding. The assumption that Fluttershy is shy or should fear this changeling is dropped the minute she sees he's wounded. From then on personal boundaries mean literally nothing to her. And she is pretty much a plank, just enjoying the fuck as it happens. Never really questioning it, never realizing that she has known him for less then twelve hours (officially making her faster then Disney Princesses) or doing anything Fluttershy should to justify this. The lack of actual interaction between the two is laughable, especially when Fluttershy says, “I… l… lo…”. Again, direct quoting from the sotry that got featured for a long while. Well maybe the guy does a better job.
Basil
He doesn't speak anything but compliments. Ash was better then this. I actually understood Ash. With him it's 'Your hot, you saved my life, I'm going to rape you.' 'I'm okay with it though.' 'Then we'll call it sex and say we're in love.' Those aren't direct quotes, but that is how it feels like. It feels liek a boyfriend and girlfriend pretending to not have known each other and decided to roleplay... wait a minute.
The author's note.
She claims to have written this with the help of her boyfriend. Well, that answers a lot of questions. Why can a changleing almost dying suddenly can rip off Fluttershy's clothes and fuck her like a real stud? Never really hurt. Why is Fluttershy the biggest OOC character on the planet? Because it isn't Fluttershy, it's the writer. Why do they attempt to say they love each other? Because they really do, in real life. And finally, why does a third guy get completely flashed, something Fluttershy, even having just been fucked, should have never allowed? Well maybe she's an exhibitionist or something or they thought about spicing things up in the bedroom. However, even with this laughable self insert deduced, there is one more thing I have to criticize.
YOU DID IT BETTER ALREADY!
You remember how I referenced a guy named Ash? That guy is from another fic by this person that didn't come out long before this. In that one, Fluttershy was very okay with tentacle rape, very okay being undressed, had a man who constantly complimented her get to fuck her. Why aren't I raging that one? Because he was a fucking plant! A plant that secreted aphrodisiacs, and had already used the fic that this one was a sequel to to make Fluttershy believe tentacle rape was the bee's knees. That, and his reason for loving her made slight sense and his death actually felt like it mattered. Instead of this piece of shit where we don't care about any of the characters, you just wanted to have Fluttershy get tentacle raped again!
Final Thoughts
If you want clop, read it. It is very well written clop. If you care at all for story or plot, or want to read it because you think the summary is true at all, don't. It's just a couple roleplaying their favorite characters and completely missing the most important one's character completely. It's mindless sex, and thats it. The biggest crime is that it is Fluttershy, instead of simply two OCs who wanted to get it on.
Mmm was a fun read.
2430592 I'm happy you enjoyed it.
You make a valid rage without focusing on being pissed at the writers too much. Kudos to you